by Hope
Volleyball tryouts at Princess new school begin today. And they will run all week. She will be staying with cousins while I travel to Chicago to return Gymnast to his dad’s house. I am so grateful for how organized this school’s team is…from the beginning!
We already received the schedule for the whole season. I’m excited for her and this new adventure! While school doesn’t start for 2 more weeks, I am so ready for the regular schedule again.
After 9 months of living apart, Gymnast and Princess are beginning to rebuild their relationship.
I will find out today what the cost for volleyball will be. I’m praying, praying that it is reasonable. But I don’t mind the cost. Just this year and next and then this part of my life comes to an end.
And at the end of the volleyball season, Princess will concentrate on finding her first job. She and I are both very excited about this step toward her independence.
School Schedule
Princess received her academic schedule for the year…5 Honors classes, a leadership class and a ACT/SAT prep class. It is going to be a tough year for her. But I know she is up for the task.
History Buff will take 3 additional dual enrollment classes this fall, along with one more home school math to finish his high school requirements. He has decided to pursue becoming a machinist for now but is still considering transferring to a 4 year school to pursue a bachelors of construction management down the road. I think having something…machining…to work with to start is a great plan. Then he can decide what will come after that. (We anticipate the this program will take at least one more year.)
A New to Us Car
In preparation for this step and now that Sea Cadet has left for California, we made a decision on the car front and have already put it into place.
- History Buff sold his car this past week. The money from the sale (he is taking payments,) will be saved for a motorcycle or another car down the rode. (This is his choice.)
- Sea Cadet left his car in his brother’s care while he is gone. But retains ownership. History Buff will be paying for all maintenance and care cost. But driving it for free, otherwise, to give History Buff a chance to save for a motorcycle.
- Princess and I bought a car. A used car, but a car that we “share custody of.” One that we plan to become hers once she can drive next year. My uncle heard what we were doing and offered to loan us the money interest free, since I am tapped from paying for Princess new school, History Buff’s last semester of high school and so on. (He negotiated a fantastic deal, which he is well known for, and we both believe this car will last Princess long into the future.) We don’t have to make any payments until June of next year (to give Princess time to get a job and start working.) It was very generous of him and we are both very grateful. (I am carrying full coverage insurance to cover his and ours investment, of course!)
Hope is a creative, solutions-focused business manager helping clients grow their business and work more efficiently by leveraging expertise in project management, digital marketing, & tech solutions. She’s recently become an empty nester as her 5 foster/adoptive kids have spread their wings. She lives with her 5 dogs in a small town in NE Georgia and prefers the mountains to the beaches any day. She struggles with the travel bug and is doing her best to help each of her kids as their finish schooling and become independent (but it’s hard!) She has run her own consulting company for almost twenty years! Hope began sharing her journey with the BAD community in the Spring of 2015 and feels like she has finally in a place to really focus on making wise financial decisions.
So…History Buff sold a functional used car to someone making payments to him and you bought a new car?
I think I’m done. Wow. Just wow.
This is why 5 years later Hope is in the same place.. yes, we can spin numbers to make it look like less debt on paper, but everyone but Hope knows that isn’t the truth. Living in a tiny apartment instead of a home, no real assets, no savings… and now a car loan so she can drive her daughter to an expensive private school. SMH
You’re so right!
We’ve actually live in a home and have for 2 1/2 years now. And I have a substantial EF savings account.
At the beginning of May, you said you had $1347 in your emergency fund, and that you planned to add $100 a month. That would bring you to $1650 now. That is not even enough to cover even one month of your essentials (rent, utilities, food, insurance) which I calculate as $1693 based on your April budget.
You live in a rental home that not long ago you said you might be forced to move from. And I think your idea of substantial savings is different from others
You used a relative’s generosity (and is this the same relative who paid the tuition?) to take on even more debt to get a car, and committed to volleyball without knowing the expense. It’s a private school, don’t count on it being cheap.
This will be the house and her dad all over again. Pathetic.
You are right, I accepted his offer to help get a car. But no, he did not help with her tuition.
As for volleyball, it is included in the tuition. And she found out she made the team yesterday…yeah!
Hope,
You posted in an earlier blog entry that one of your relatives assisted with paying for your daughter’s tuition.
Correct, they paid 1/2 of the $3,000 for the year.
I had set up to pay 1/2 this month and 1/2 in December.
Because I had already planned to and saved to pay 1/2 this month, their contribution allowed me to pay the years tuition in full.
Are you serious? That car looks pretty new. There must be monthly payments involved, plus a down payment. You’re suppose to be getting OUT OF DEBT Hope!!! You make ZERO progress, it’s a revolving door of debt and poor decision making. I’m officially going to have to remove BAD from my blog list, because it is not motivating or helpful, it is infuriating. Every time I read your posts, I have the urge to bang my head against the desk.
Honda’s are not cheap. That poor girl will never be able to make a payment, take 10 years to pay it back, or leave school due to the stress of working and going to school.
I guess I don’t understand why you didn’t just buy Sea Cadet’s car. You’ve already said that History Buff didn’t take good care of the car he recently sold, so why would he suddenly change and do a better job with this car? Does Sea Cadet realize he does not profit at all from this arrangement?
Because I think what she wanted to do was kind of a rent-to-own situation with the car titled in his name. With her driving record, leaving it titled in his name is a phenomenally bad idea, he could be held liable for accidents that she would have. But what she could (and should have) done is had the titled transferred to her name, with him as lienholder. That protects him.
Actually, the bottom line is that I didn’t want to own his car at all. Not a pride issue but a too much work and maintenance issue. It’s actually a really nice, fancy Cadillac. But it eats gas, has an oil leak and several other issues. I was more inclined to just sell it rather than have it sit for the year he will be gone.
i believe that the real reason she did not buy her son’s car was the shame factor of showing up at private school driving a beater.
That and because they wanted it. And keeping up with the joneses won’t stop there. and for this summer job, I mean, you can’t expect your kid to serve their well-off school mates at the local fast food joint, can you?? The horror.
When Princess is old enough she should get a part-time job at Walmart or within 1 mile of there. The shuttle to the school is there. Then there is no increased need for a car or the potential shame from the drop off in a beater. Even better…. Move to an apartment in-town near the Walmart with the extra money you saved from not paying for a car, insurance, and maintenance. No more exterior maintenance or lawnmower issues. These changes could probably even pay for most of the tuition and volleyball fees.
Are you going to have princess pay for car insurance too? Awhile back you said one of the twins was paying $50 a week for insurance and that was on a beater car. If you place Princess as the primary driver on a near new car I can’t imagine how much that would cost. Car insurance and a car payment means she’ll be working pretty much to pay for a car that she wouldn’t need if she didn’t work. And she won’t have the free time to enjoy having a car because she is at school, volleyball, and working.
When I worked at Walmart(2000-2003) we had very few minors on the payroll. Labor laws meant that if they were not off the register by 10 pm during the school year then the company would be looking at times so they tended to avoid the 16 to 18 year old age group. Now the Kroger my oldest works at is all over hiring minors.
Funny because that’s around the time I worked at Walmart. I worked through high school and some of college and it was perfect because when your schedule changed they always had hours to accommodate. Summer they would ramp you up to full-time if you wanted. They liked high schoolers because you had somewhat of a work ethic compared to some of the older workers where retail was their lifeline. People who’s career is retail aren’t typically the happiest and most productive people because they are too tired scraping by trying to support a family on minimum wage.
It’s funny the different message this community gives…many wanted me to have Princess quit volleyball, work and help pay for her new school. Now that I have moved up the plan to provide her with a car next year, and give her this year to learn on it, you are up in arms that I will have her help pay for it. Can’t win for losing, can I?
But Princess is excited to work. And yes, just as her brothers before her, she will help pay the costs of her car including insurance, gas and so on. The difference is that she will be sharing a car with me. The twins shared their first car as well.
You’re kidding right? That is so not me.
I could care less about the Joneses.
And Princess is excited to work at a local fast food joint.
I think the BAD community have missed the point of this school as a whole. It’s not a “rich” kid school. It’s a well funded, heavily academic school. And most of the kids who attend are “scholarship” kids.
No. I’m not kidding at all. There is nothing funny about this situation.
And as to your ‘can’t wind for losing’ because we are ‘up in arms’ about having your daughter pay for this car, you aren’t a victim but to your own bad decisions. The choice did not have to be between no car and a several thousand dollar car that your daughter can’t own, drive, or pay for. At this time but you will be driving for free. It should have been a choice between bussing and a couple thousand dollar get you around car.
And since you acknowledge in anothe reply that this car is titled to you and you are the legal owner but your daughter will have to make the payments when the begin next June, this is EXACTLY like the arrangement you had with your dad and that house. He owned it legally but you paid. No difference. Again, irony thy name is Hope.
I didn’t say I wouldn’t be paying for the car, in fact I think I said we would both be paying.
My uncle is the one to offer no payments until June.
Drmaddog–
Then maybe Princess can screw over Hope like Hope screwed over her dad, and Hope will know what it feels like.
I screwed over my father? Interesting perspective. Completely off, but that’s one way to look at it.
Jen-
Which gets back to the generation poverty I mentioned before. And how awful that you would place your own child in that position – paying for something they can’t afford that isn’t even legally theirs, hoping you do the right thing by them. It was bad enough that it happened to hope but inexcusable that she then does the same thing to her child, with that history.
or she decided, much like a $10/hr wage, that was for ‘other’ people but not her. ‘other’ people drive beater cars, not her. it was good enough for her sons, but not for her and her daughter.
Normally I think the readers here are harsh against you, Hope… but not this time. I do not understand why you allow your daughter to rule the roost regardless of expense (private school, 2019 car, not riding the bus, volleyball) while you’ve treated your sons like squatters forcing them to earn themselves every humble thing they have wanted in recent memory. There seems to be a real bias there. Frankly, I feel bad for all of your kids for different reasons.
And she always wanted to foster/adopt more kids. I believe, she is favoring her daughter while consciously or unconciously teaching Gymnast a lesson for his decision on going to live with his father. As for the twins, I do not want to share what I think she is doing. Really sad…
I think your are reading this wrong…my twins are 20 years old. And were certainly provided for during their younger years in the same way my daughter is now. Sea Cadets, Robotics, swim team, Tae Kwon Do and so on and so forth.
But they are 20 now, almost 21, and I do expect them to begin adulting. I provide room and board, and many extras but they are now responsible for paying their phone bills and car insurance. I am confident that they are not neglected or feel like squatters…
On reflection, I think she didn’t have the $750 for bussing (in addition to keeping up with the all the fancy private school parents). She didn’t have the money for tuition, why would she have money for bussing? But of course, there’s money for volleyball.
So we don’t have $750 for bussing. Taking her son’s beater would have been even more expensive in the long run, so that’s also a poor decision. So instead she makes the worst possible decision: take advantage of yet another relative.
I actually did have the money for tuition payment, which is why I was able to pay it in full.
And I did weigh the thought of $750 for the bus and essentially 3 car payments (a whole semester,) as I considered the car options after the BAD came out so against my previous plan.
No you didn’t, you said yourself a relative paid half.
The biggest take away from the previous post regarding the car situation is that I needed to step out of managing the twins, their cars, their money. So while I did advise them, I let them go the direction they wanted…and they will have to learn from the fall out.
I advised against History Buff taking payments. I advised against just “letting” History Buff drive the car. But in the end, it is their choice, not mine.
It looks like Princess has a very heavy academic schedule, and then volleyball on top of that. I hope she is not expected to find a job until next summer! Her job should be school. This school may be much more challenging than the one she is leaving. I don’t think she should be worrying about how to pay for a car she can’t even drive yet.
You are right, she will have a heavy academic schedule. But we are going to also have the most “normalcy” we have ever had between my work schedule and her school/sport schedule. And as essentially the “only” child here, and her intrinsic drive to do well, I feel like she will be well support and is ready to take on this new challenge.
We (she and I) are planning on her job hunting after the volleyball season over (October.) Since she is still young (15) we will see what she can find.
I just can’t even on this one. I think it’s time for Hope to move on from this website.
Nah, that won’t happen. She’s the only reason the owners get any money from this now ad-infested site.
That was my same reaction! I think I’m done. This blog used to be informative and interesting to read, now it’s just weird decision after weird decision with Hope.
Honestly, the only reason I come by this website anymore is because its a train wreck from which I cannot look away.
Ditto!
I can’t help myself either. It’s a shame really.
Hope, I’ve long been rooting you on. I think TF is going to be life altering for Princess. These car decisions are piling bad ideas on top of bad ideas. Why would you let a working car pass from your family in “payments” when you still have a negative networth. Sea Cadet’s sweet nature seems again to be used again, and I’m worried he’s going to come home to a car that is, best case scenario, less valuable than when he left. I’m worried History Buff is going to lose money on this ad hoc payment plan. I’m worried Princess, frankly. And I’m worried that as homelessness looms once more in your future you are still not making wise choices.
I stepped out of History Buff and Sea Cadet’s car situation per the BAD communities recommendation…
I did advise against taking payment.
I did advise against letting History Buff drive the car for “free.”
But in the end, those decisions has to be theirs. The cars are titled in their names, registered in their names and ultimately theirs.
Now why would you advise your son not to take payments on a car from someone who can’t pay for it outright, and letting them use it for free? Because it is a terrible idea where the owner of the car bears all the risk and none of the benefit. At yet your are happy as a clam to do the same to your uncle. Irony, thy name is Hope.
He sold the car and is taking payments? I hope he is retaining possession of the car until it is paid in full. Otherwise he could end up with no car and no cash.
Yeah I see so many red flags.
Yeah, this concerns me. Please tell me there were legal documents drawn up. But, ugh. Why couldn’t the buyer get a car loan and pay in full? This could end badly.
the car wasn’t worth much, wasn’t it not even $1000? no bank is going to loan on a car that old or that low in value. the more concerning question, which the readers have discerned but not hope and her son, is why would you take payments on a car worth less than $1000 from someone who couldn’t scrape together less than $1000. But otherwise, i completely agree, and it’s a good comeback when someone asks for a loan or financing from you: why would I loan/front you any money with my limited resources when a bank, with millions, wouldn’t lend you anything?
I definitely advised him against this…
I’m confused. A few posts back you convinced yourself (& us) that you’d be OK with out a car – being able to borrow your grandmother’s. So now you have this car from your uncle – that you really don’t need, according to the post I’m referring to. So, you wanted the car more than you want to get out of debt it appears? Just trying to understand this decision, because it makes absolutely no sense to me.
The overwhelming consensus was that if I wasn’t going to buy Sea Cadet’s car, that was a bad plan. And I really feel better having Princess learn on a car we own versus my grandmother.
This plan just worked out after a very gracious offer from my uncle.
This is just so ridiculous. Hope is a guide for how to constantly be in debt and take advantage of your family. Pathetic that a grown woman acts this way.
Take advantage? Really?
Of my many friends, I have several who have received generous gifts from family and I never thought they were taking advantage.
Grandparents gifting cars to their grandchildren.
Parents helping with down payments on houses.
And so on.
I didn’t ask for the gift of 1/2 of Princess tuition. Nor did I ask my uncle for the car.
And while the car is a loan, it is generous of him and a wonderful gift to us at this time.
I am cringing reading this. You just “taught” your children so many horrible financial lessons in this post. You taught your daughter that it is okay to use credit without a job in place to pay that money back while putting yourself on the hook for an extracurricular activity that you have no idea what it’s cost is and a car that she wants but does not have the means to pay for. Like others I hope History Buff was at least smart enough to keep possession of his car until the person pays for his car (you said history buffs car was worth less than Sea Cadets $800 blue book car so I just can’t even imagine taking payments for under $1000)and I hope Sea Cadet realises his car will depreciate over the next year and he may be taking several hundred off the table by choosing the option he went with.
Financially, in my opinion, you are sabotaging yourself over and over and I notice you are avoiding actually answering questions about things like your new budget since you have had changes like student loan repayment, private school addition, history buff schooling for dual enrollment(negatives) and an addition of extra funds from projects related to work numbering in thousands and an insurance payment of $1800 for car replacement(positives). Essentially everyone is offering opinion and advice blindly because you don’t offer a clear picture of your finances and then you seem surprised that they are critical of you. Your financial behavior seems to subsist of binges of denying yourself to pay down debt from spending sprees of large sums on things you think you and your kids “need”. It’s very frustrating to watch particularly when need and want are entirely different animals. I continue to worry that as a contractor you are unreasonably optimistic even as life has repeatedly shown you that you need to plan better.
I am really not trying to be harsh. However, there really is nothing positive to say about anything in this particular post.
.adly, Hope is an example of why generational poverty exists. Children learning terrible money lessons from their parents. And before the comments start, yes there are numerous societal reasons why this exists, as well. I firmly agree with that. But Hope makes wretched decisions with regards to money, and her kids learn those things.
I agree, she is not forthcoming with information, she doesn’t answer questions, and per other commenters her instagram posts are not consistent with what she posts here. She has never answered questions about health insurance since her last discussion about a health ministry, and her Medicaid was supposed to end at the beginning of the year. And private school And travel budgets. And college tuition.. And and and.
And now this car. It reminds me of my own parents who owed all of their children thousands of dollars, but when they called crowing about the car they had just bought, they couldn’t understand why I yelled ‘YOU OWE ME MONEY’ and hung up on them. The risk to the uncle is no different than that to Hope’s kid, if the car is titled to him. If it’s not, then he has all the monetary risk and no asset to show for it, and only some vague plan to play in the future. Good luck to him with that. The mistakes Hope made with her dad didn’t stick at all.
And just how…what in the world, going thousands and thousands of dollars into debt instead of paying $750 for bussing. That isn’t even penny wise and pound foolish. That is just…poor person thinking. Putting so much money you don’t have into a depreciating, non-income generating asset to “solve” a much smaller problem. It’d be like buying a house you cannot afford with almost no savings or safety net because the lease on your apartment is up. What nonsense.
Hope isn’t trying to get out of debt at all, and I don’t like saying this, if she hadn’t also posted pictures, I would think she was a made-up troll, some of this is just so unbelievable. All I can figure is there is some small amount they pay her for each post.
You have read my mind and put my thoughts into words
And another thing. This, from the above car post: “We don’t have to make any payments until June of next year (to give Princess time to get a job and start working.)”
Is she seriously saying that she and her daughter will share this car, but no payments will be made for a year so that HER DAUGHTER can get a job to pay for it?? Soooooo, what Hope is going to ‘share’ a car and drive it around for a year, pay nothing, (wreck it), and then her daughter has to pay for it?? Where is Hope’s contribution to this?
What an awful nonsensical mess.
And it’s totally realistic that a teenager can pay for a brand new car with a summer job right?
The $750 needs paid now. This way she can enjoy a newer car and not have to pay or think about it for a year. Then, as always, reality will catch up and she will be in worse shape then she was before. Or the relative won’t get paid.
Excellent point.
Did I miss something? Does Princess want to go the private school? I understand there are advantages. Are the public schools so bad that they are not an option? What happened to the homeschooling? Is this a wise financial decision? Will it pay off with getting more scholarships for college?
I do not understand the car situation. Why did you not just buy the car that is being sold?
I don’t understand the comments about Hope’s driving record. I remember reading about the accidents, but though only one of them was her fault.
Princess is indeed the person who chose to go to private school(it has a volleyball team and they are hoping it might yield a scholarship) just like she wants\ needs a car(instead of paying $750 for the year to cover school busing and telling Princess she can have some of what she wants but not all and continuing to bike for her own transport) As per usual, the kids are running the budget and Hope is just adjusting away to suit what they want whether it is fiscally feasible or not(until something happens and it no longer becomes realistic for her to continue with her merry spending binges to give her kids everything they insist they must have.) Surprise! Her “inexpensive kid” who never asked for anything while her sibling took $600 gymnastic classes has now become the budget line buster. Her schooling itself is $237.50 a month without the extracurricular of volleyball(once a $84 line item which was reasonable now an unknown expenditure) The car Princess “needed ” will probably be another couple hundred in financing that Hope is on the hook for)But hey, on the upside Princess gets breakfast and lunch at school and Hope gets Princess to consider her best mommy ever for the moment.
That’s super unfair to Princess. We actually have no idea if this was Princess’s decision or not. Princess is a child. From her mother’s blog, here’s what we know for sure:
-Princess loves high school and didn’t want to do Joint Enrollment her sophomore year, but Hope made her. Princess, in fact, loves high school so much she made her mom promise not to move away until she graduated. Doesn’t sound like a kid set on private school.
-Princess is typically level headed. Remember, it was Hope who wanted to pay for a pool membership and Princess who had to tell her they wouldn’t be home to use it and it would be a waste of money.
-The whole car debacle falls solely on Hope, who plans on driving a car but waiting for her teenage daughter to pay for it.
Actually if you read back to when Hope first talked about private school, she said Princess wanted to go. July 10th post.
But ultimately it’s Hope’s decision about whether or not to send her daughter to private school. Her daughter may want to go, but that might not be the best things for the family.
I wanted to switch schools in high school, because my rural public high school was crap. I probably could’ve gotten financial assistance. My parents said no, we couldn’t afford it. I found other, cheaper, ways to enhance my high school education.
So Princess may have wanted it, but ultimately it’s Hope that’s on the hook for the decision.
No one said it wasn’t ultimately Hope who was responsible for the choice. I have 4 adult children myself. There were several times I had to tell them no because what they wanted was not something financially in the family’s best interest. As a matter of fact in my initial post I go out of my way to point out that I think Hope is not teaching her children to be financially empowered. If Princess had come to me I might have allowed her to attend private school (with her being b used to school) or I might have allowed her a car (with the agreement she pursue dual enrollment at public school) there is no way I would have allowed both simply because she wanted both, particularly when I have less than a month’s worth of income put away for emergencies and I am a private contractor that will not have a safety net like unemployment should contracts dry up. Princess is not old enough to understand all the financial details of her mom’s life however, she is old enough to start understanding that money is not limitless and that life may mean choosing between one thing you want and another.
Actually, Princess didn’t care at all for this car. We chose this one because it was such a good deal and Honda has an amazing track record based on reliability and service. And this particular USED car came with extended warranties, roadside assistance and so on.
My daughter does think I’m a wonderful mom though, but not because of what I buy her or don’t buy her. Thankfully, my kids have all lived through the ups and downs my poor choices, job loss and so on so are very happy with having their needs met. And some of their wants. And none of them is against working for what they want, and letting other things fall to the way side.
She is going to make payments on the car but you picked the car out even as you pointed out that her options for employment will be limited? Peachy. This decision was a horrible decision and while you.May not realize it now I suspect you will a year and a half from now when payments are due.
Hope, I really love your effort on giving the best education for your children. Just keep your health ok and the money you need will come.
Sounds like prosperity gospel but ok….
Remember the story of the drowning man. Guy is drowning in water: not comes up, guy says “the lord will save me”. Second boat and a plane show up, they get the same response.
Guy drowns. Gets to the pearly gates, goes to God “why didn’t you save me?!”. God goes “I sent you two boats and a plane!”
Hope is the drowning guy.
Yeah, no, that is not how that works. Money doesn’t grow on trees. As far as keeping her health ok, she has a chronic disease and last we heard no health insurance, so….
Waiting for Hope to chime in to say she doesnt have a “chronic illness”, because she doesnt take care of herself and doesnt recognize diabetes as a serious illness (and I can guarantee doesnt check blood sugars regularly to even know whether or not her diabetes is under control)
Well the budgets she has posted have *never* included a line-item for ongoing medical expenses, like lancets and test strips. So she either doesn’t test, or their omission from her budget just further shows that she’s dishonest.
Thanks for being concerned about my health. We do in fact have health insurance. And my diabetes is under control via medication and diet. I do not have to take Insulin and have lost 45 lbs in the last year.
I’ve been very diligent about taking care of my health.
Where is health insurance and medication cost in your budget then? It always seems like we only get half the story with you.
I keep thinking maybe she’s still on Medicaid somehow even though she makes too much. Or on some other family member is paying insurance for her or she’s on some other policy, and that’s why we never hear about it.
We are actually on a private insurance and it’s paid by my business so it is not in my budget or monies discussed here. The same with my internet, cell phone and several other business related expenses.
Oh boy…..
Somehow my last post was deleted (Why?) Hope, I thought you told us that you were totally OK using your grandmother’s car. That it’s doable. So why now go into debt on this car? Makes absolutely no sense. You’re not making very good financial decisions for someone who claims to want to get out of debt.
How can your daughter understand responsibility when you can’t? With her classes and volleyball when will she have time to work. I’m sorry I think you live in a dream world and someone needs you to learn you can’t have everything in life. A 15 year old decided she wanted to go to a private school and somehow you found the money. I know you just happened to have a relative to help and you got extra money from a new client. Why is that you always find a way to do things that most of us can’t.
This is exactly what I said in another post! She seems to always find a way but claims to have no help from anyone. I was married to a man for 20 years whose ex used to go around saying that he was a dead beat dad. When in reality not only was he there physically for his kids but gave her damn near $2k a month for them. I sometimes wonder if it’s the same case here. I have noticed little comments like Princess wore her new Jordan’s that her dad bought her to a dance. Now he has gymnast living with him but she claims that he hasn’t been around? What kind of mother sends her child off to live with someone they supposedly don’t know? What child just decides they want to live with a stranger? Maybe because of my past experience I am thinking too much into it but you have to admit that Something doesn’t add up there.
You are absolutely right.
There is ALOT more to the Gymnast story. But it is not open to the public.
But believe me when I say, their father offers NO SUPPORT – financial or otherwise. Although when I saw him the other day, he said he was going to…but that’s like listening to a broken record.
He has a great girlfriend who is supporting him though.I met her for the first time this week. And Gymnast is doing well up there and happy. So I don’t know any parent who would argue with that.
When we were 26 years old we borrowed $450 dollars from our in laws to put a down payment on a house. In the 30 years since we have never asked or accepted any help from relatives
You had your dad involved in your house, you had friends provide housing for months, someone paid your daughter’s tuition, and now you have a car interest free with delayed payments because of an uncle. While receiving this help you have also for long stretches received government help for food and healthcare. Stand on your own two feet and wake up. You should be riding a bike and princess needs to get on the bus
Right? Like, where’s the shame? and it would be really interesting to know how these relatives keep ‘finding out’ about all these ‘needs’ Hope and her kids have.
The only money that has passed among my siblings and I was when my brother and his wife were broke (as in buh-ROKE) newlywed college students with $14 in the bank and a barren pantry. They got bags of groceries to get them through, and were extremely grateful. Not once has any of us extended money for private school and a new car. LIke as not, you’d be laughed out of the room if it was suggested, and if offered, the targeted recipient would be horrified.
I have been stewing over this and of course have more to say…,,you have people in your life who have enabled you to make poor decisions. I am sure that point doesn’t need to be explained by reviewing your financial decisions.
It would be interesting to hear what vehicles most of us our driving. I drive a 2003 Toyota Matrix. I bought it used 5 years ago. I have raised six children. We have the last two in college right now. My money has always been carefully used to raise our family.
The things you have experienced in life like divorce, dead beat dad, Job loss are very common bumps in the road of life. Financial decisions should be made expecting that those kinds of bumps could come again any day.
That is a mighty fancy looking car for someone who has to pray that the volleyball fees are reasonable
I am not sure why my comments from last night have not shown up. or maybe they were erased. However, I have a 2018 Honda HRV. That picture above is a 2019 HRV. So much for used car.
It is actually NOT a 2019 HRV.
And it is used.
I have a household income of $190,000/year and I share a 2010 Mazda with my husband.
Yes, my boyfriend and I plan to share a care once he is able to make the move this way. Once Princess is driving my need for a car will be minimal.
I drive a 2005 Honda Jazz, that I bought from my grandmother, that she bought brand-new in 2005. I’ve noticed that Hondas are a more expensive car to service and repair. I don’t regret my own purchase, as it has been a wonderfully reliable car, however I got it in perfect circumstances as it was going cheap from a family member who had always had it serviced on schedule and was planning to trade it in so I only had to pay the trade in price.
I have a six figure income and drive a 2004 BMW X3 SUV that I paid off in 2007. She’s now 15 yrs old with 176,000+ miles and I hope to get 250K out of her. She’s got some scratches and dings but I just tell her, ‘baby, you and I both got scars”. The older she gets the more I love her.
6-figure income. 2008 Mazda 3.
Used huh? I have a 2018 HRV and during my last oil change at the dealership I was looking at the 2019. The first thing I noticed was the difference to the “face” of the car. The same difference yours has. So you bought a used 2019 HRV?
You continue to make some really bad financial decisions and I truly wonder why you are still allowed to write on this blog. You have not shown that you are even remotely trying to get out of debt. You start to pay down one and add 3 more. As others have mentioned you have absolutely no assets and continue on your downward spiral. You spend money carelessly. And every bit counts. Like you mentioned flying to Chicago with gymnast. For what? From what you have posted he has flown by himself before.So why spend the money to fly there? And unless you’re flying right back, I’m sure you’re staying at a hotel and Chicago in general is not cheap. So that’s more money spent. Money that could’ve gone into your EF. Or towards that CC that you’re trying to pay off.
I’m glad there’s a new blogger on here because I’m done reading your posts. Maybe one day you will wake up and truly get to experience what a debt free life looks like. It’s pretty amazing to not have to depend on anyone and be able to pay for things in cash. You just have to learn how to do it.
I think she’s “allowed” to write basically because she’s the only traffic driver. For a long time, it was her and badly written SEO crap. Whoever owns this blog doesn’t actually care about quality content, they just want clicks so they can get their ad money.
Google the e-mail address on the “contact us” page. All of the results are for other low-rent ad-infested “personal finance” blogs. They’re just trying to get passive income.
And I think Hope continues blogging for two reasons. 1) She loves attention and doesn’t care about the consequences. 2) They’re paying her.
It is NOT a 2019 HRV. It is indeed a used HRV though.
As far as why I flew to Chicago with Gymnast this time…
Well, for one, I had never met the woman he is living with. And I don’t know any parent who wants that to happen.
Two, he’s going into high school and as a concerned parent I really want to be involved in this phase of his life and make sure he is on track to be ready for college (or whatever he chooses to do.) Meeting with the guidance counselor was a priority. And the main reason for me to accompany him on this trip.
I can’t imagine any parent would want their child living somewhere they hadn’t visited or met the people they were living with. I dreaded this trip. But it went well. And I’m glad I went, no regrets.
A used 2018 HRV still has a blue book value of about $19,500. If the uncle negotiated it down to $17,500 including any taxes and fees, and lets Hope and Princess pay it off over a generous 6 years (5 years of payments starting in 1 year), that’s still $300/month. Princess will be college age by then. Like many, I worked part time during college, but that went to my living expenses and a few “wants” that inevitably come up during that time, like spring break trips. Is it realistic to expect that Princess will earn enough to have an extra $300/month on top of her other college expenses?
Sure she will. Princess will go part-time at school to pay for a car she can’t afford.
Ugh! I agree with the comments above. Very poor choices and a bad example overall for the kids.
So who exactly is the legal owner of this vehicle?
Who are the legal owners of ALL the cars in this situation???
I am legally the owner of the Honda.
The twins are the owners of their own cars.
It seems obvious that you’re overcompensating for your son’s leaving by spoiling your daughter and self soothing with money. It’s especially pernicious that you made these significant purchases and promises while Gymnast was staying with you and before the twins leave, so that they’re exposed to these decisions and inequities.
Of course my comments seem to not get past the “moderation” and Hope doesn’t even respond to any of this. Typical.
Why are you promising your 15 year old a near new car when she can’t even drive yet?! You had the twin’s save for and buy their own car. If I remember correctly some Uncle ended up buying at least one of those cars too. But then you buy Princess a very newish, used car before she can drive. That’s insanity. Another decision made without a plan that only ended up working out because of the generosity of others. You had the ability to buy two different running cars from your sons at less than 1k but you sign up for payments for a car you said yourself over and over again that you don’t even need or want? What happens when Gymnast wants a car comparable to his sister in a year or two (and you said he has high standards and good taste)? Or how do the twins feel knowing they worked their butt off for their 25+ year old cars? You have such a great mindset on saving money on the small stuff (grocery challenges, no real entertainment spend, etc) but man you really shoot yourself in the foot with all the large decisions.
One of your mottos is you believe everyone has the power to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and pave their way. So much so that you don’t believe in living minimum wage. But you don’t live that way. You do what you can, make hasty questionable decisions, and then get handouts for the rest. That’s not God providing… It’s your friends/family continually enabling and financially supporting you living a life you can’t afford. I know you have great pride in your work and being a single mom, especially with your kids excelling in school. But wouldn’t you just have so much more if you knew you were doing everything yourself?
Your last paragraph is a nail on the head. That lack of self-awareness is really aggravating. God hasn’t provided the Medicaid, foster care/adoption supplementary income, food assistance, tax breaks, tuition assistance, etc. Most (all) of that is government assistance. I’d like to at least sedan acknowledgement of that, rather than a post that criticizes the minimum wage. Seriously.
PREACH.
I actually bought the twins their first car as well.
I believe I have addressed all the other questions in comments above.
That’s true. A lot of us have been reading since the beginning. You bought the twins 1 car to share-a 1996 Honda Accord worth $1900 that your dad paid you. As long as I have been reading, though, that’s just one of many debts where I’m not sure how it was resolved.
I keep looking at this photo of a 15 child pointing a key fob at a brand new car – a child who does not yet have a license or a job but who is now already thousands of dollars in debt…and I’m thinking to myself “yep, that seems about right”
Good thing that as a minor she cannot enter into a binding contract. At best the contract is invalid. At worst, it’s Hope on the hook.
Normally, I’d argue that she has the moral obligation, but I’m not going to today due to what I see as an utter failure on her mother’s part.
It is not a brand new car, but it is in excellent shape.
We need a like button for these posts.