by Hope
Our house is in chaos these days. Lots of upheaval and change, some expected, some not. But thankfully, I’m still able to keep my eye on the prize of getting out of debt as quickly as possible.
I’ve made some decisions that are going to get me in hot water with BAD readers this week, but I am at peace with them. More on that below.
Here’s our planned spending for our first week of No Spend October!
Anticipated Spending - Week of 9/28
| Description | Anticipated | Actual |
|---|---|---|
| Income *after taxes | $576 | |
| Gas | ($35) | |
| Volleyball - entrance fees | ($5) | |
| Princess - camp savings | $178 | |
| Rent | ($650) | |
| Camp Payment | ($178) | |
| Utilities - water, sewer, trash, gas | ($127) | |
| Total | ($240) | |
Note for this Week
- We are going bare bones this coming month. No extra on anything. My only debt payment that would have been due this week is the tax debt. But since I’m ahead on it, I do not have to pay it this month.
- While this week’s numbers make it looks like I’m upside down, I’m not. I have cushion to cover week’s that I don’t make as much as I spend. And the first of the month is always a high spend one since most of my monthly bills are due then.
- Tuesday is Princess last high school game. We are both ready for the season to be over, but she has made some great friends which I believe will last a lifetime!
Homeschooling x2
This week I made the very hard decision to pull Gymnast out of public school. It was not what he or I wanted. And I did not make the decision lightly. There is lots of back story, but the bottom line is that the constant threat of violence and assault wore me down.
He has been physically assaulted on multiple occasions since starting at this school in January. And this past Friday night (not yesterday, the week before) he was ganged up on while attending the Friday night high school game. (His beloved phone was shattered, and he ended up having to spend the rest of the game sitting with police to stay safe. Thank goodness for good friends who got him away safely.)
The school’s response was “we talked to them and told them to cut it out” and “those boys can no longer attend football games.” But I’m sorry, that’s just not enough. He and I have received threatening messages via social media, and the worry was driving me crazy. And frankly, the stress of it was altering him, and not in a good way.
So for now, I will be homeschooling him. And I feel terrible about it because he LOVES the social aspect of school. But I will tell you, in just the two days since the decision was made, he is “lighter” than he has been all year. I can visibly see the reduction of stress and fear. He is smiling again, he is laughing again and he is playing and joking and wrestling with his siblings again. Seriously.
Financial Implications
I have all the curriculum I need. Thankfully I did not get rid of high school type materials because I thought the kids could use them as resources. He will be eating at home more often (both breakfast and lunch are offered at the middle school for free due to the extreme poverty in this area.) But otherwise, I don’t expect much in the way of finances.
This is NOT a PERMANENT decision. But it is a for now decision. And I’m at peace with it, although hate it for him.
Hope is a creative, solutions-focused business manager helping clients grow their business and work more efficiently by leveraging expertise in project management, digital marketing, & tech solutions. She’s recently become an empty nester as her 5 foster/adoptive kids have spread their wings. She lives with her 5 dogs in a small town in NE Georgia and prefers the mountains to the beaches any day. She struggles with the travel bug and is doing her best to help each of her kids as their finish schooling and become independent (but it’s hard!) She has run her own consulting company for almost twenty years! Hope began sharing her journey with the BAD community in the Spring of 2015 and feels like she has finally in a place to really focus on making wise financial decisions.
I’m so sorry to hear that Gymnast has been dealing with that situation at school. It sounds like homeschooling him again was the best thing to do right now. Are you able to get the kids who ganged up on him to replace his phone?
No help with phone replacement. He is devastated. The cost for repair is going to be upwards of $300. And it just stinks all the way around.
Oh Hope, I’m so sorry to hear about Gymnast. Kids can be so cruel. I hope things improve, and he is so lucky to have someone as caring as you as his mother.
Thanks for saying so, C. It just breaks my heart all the way around. And he just hasn’t been raised around this type of crowd where fighting and trouble are normal and even celebrated at times it seems. Unfortunately, it seems to be a generational thing that many of these kids see as normal even as they age.
Middle school is tough. You’re a great parent.
I would have done the same thing. In fact, as a softie, I would probably also go halfsies with him on fixing the phone and call it early Christmas.
Hopefully he met a few friends he can socialize with and participating in public scho sports may still be an option as well. I can advocate for wrestling being an excellent sport and his gymnastics background may help him as well.
You aren’t in trouble with me. Your child’s safety comes first even if it takes you a little longer to dig yourself out of debt. As for the phone I would suggest pursuing civil litigation to force these kids to take responsibility for their actions. You have a police report. Make copies of the threats on social media. Bring copies of records showing the multiple assaults at school if possible. Teach your son that their behavior is unacceptable and unacceptable behavior comes with consequences.
That sucks.
You gotta keep your kid safe so keep focusing on that. Was he assaulted? Could you file a police report?
Sorry to hear about Gymnast, Have the students charged with assault (in Australia, if things like this goes to court, you have jail time, have to pay a fine and the victim gets compensation as well), take them to civil court to get Gymnast’s phone fixed, ask the police for a restraining order so they stop bullying you both online, you have all the proof, if they breach the order, then there are more consequences for them. I would also report the school for failing to properly deal with the situation, at best, the students should have been suspended, if not expelled. The police are involved and it is totally unacceptable that the school has done nothing to help.
The students need to understand that psychically assaulting people is wrong and unfortunately the only way the will learn is to be criminally charged.
Well done on making a decision that is the safest for Gymnast.
Hope, you have to keep your kid safe – not sure who would judge you for that! I would do the same thing. I hope the kids who have done this to gymnast face severe consequences from the police/school or both.
Sorry to hear about the bullying/fighting.
What an aweful Situation.
But on the bright side:. Isn’t it wonderful that you don’t have to keep him in this toxic situation because you have the resource of homeschooling?
All the best to you
How horrifying for Gynmast! I agree, no person and especially no child should have to return to an abusive or violent environment. If the school can’t keep him safe he can’t be there. That’s so sad. I hope this isn’t the end of the story.
I am so sorry that Gymnast, and you, had to endure that! How truly awful. I am glad you are able to homeschool him!