:::: MENU ::::

Homeschool again and then…a twin update

by

This is more of a personal update but it does have financial implications.

History Buff arrived in Georgia in the wee hours this past Sunday morning. He drove the whole way without taillights and brought with him all his early belongings packed into a tiny little car. Frankly, it reminded me a lot of the first day he arrived on my doorstop.

Trash bags full of clothes, a few books and some electronics…that’s all he had/has. He’s moved on to the couch and we are keeping an eye out for a bed. And he’s starting to look for a full time job.

Why He Moved Out

As many of you know, History Buff decided to move out and dropped out of school in December, 2016. He was almost halfway through with his senior year, and had already applied for colleges. But there was a lot of upheaval.

  • He had just turned 18 and I think there was some insecurity regarding his status in the family. (There are lots of horror stories about foster/adoptive kids and what happens when they reach 18.)
  • His birth father moved away after being the only consistent adult in his life for the past 18 years. (The twins moved in with me a couple of weeks before their 13th birthday.)
  • We were struggling financially, living in the camper, on foodstamps. Life was hard.
  • There was a girl. I later learned that the turning point for him was when I grounded him from his phone because of failure to complete schoolwork. He was afraid to lose connection with this particular girl.
  • A friend had indicated to him that he if he moved out (because he was angry with me) that his family would take him in. That was false and he wasn’t even able to stay a night with said friend, but that conversation gave him bravery and shame kept him from turning around quickly.

I’m sure there were other things, but these are the things he has mentioned as we have repaired our relationship and worked through the details of him coming home. In the end, he has learned that adulting is hard. Especially with no high school diploma or equivalent, specialty skills or trade and all the while attempting to take care of others.

The Plan Going Forward

History Buff has already returned to school work. We are starting with the basics – math, science, history and literature. I have registered with the state as a homeschooler of one child again. And he will begin working as soon as he can get a job. My goal is that he find one with regular hours, I think he needs that.

He will enroll as a dual enrolled homeschool student at a local college for the Spring semester. And is prepping for the placement tests now. I have already spoken with the director of admissions and explained the situation. His age (20 next month) will not prevent him from taking advantage of the state funded dual enrollment program for high school students, and he will be able to complete his senior year while getting college credits like Sea Cadet did.

Thankfully, I did not get rid of most of the high school curriculum I had for homeschooling when I did my purge this past spring. Figured it might come in handy as resources for Gymnast and Princess.

Essentially this final year of high school for History Buff will cost me nothing. And he will hopefully finish with close to 30 years of college credit. Now he’s just got to decide what he wants to pursue.

There will definitely be some growing pains for all of us. But History Buff is committed to getting back on track and I am committed to supporting him in doing so.


6 Comments

  • Reply Cwaltz |

    What are the financial implications? Is he paying for his own car insurance? Since he is dual enrolled in HS and college will the job be part time? One of the smarter things I did with my grown kids living at home is require them to put money in their savings account every payday as if they were paying “rent” while you may not be able to do this to the same extent I did it might not be a bad idea to require them to put money away so that way the next time he launches himself into full scale adulting he has the means to weather adversity. It’s not completely failsafe because medical costs and withstanding job transitions are big hurdles but it definitely has according to my older two been beneficial to start on their own with most stuff already covered and a small financial cushion of several thousand.(My youngest 2 grown still at home have full time jobs and put $125 a week in their bank accounts for “rent” the youngest will have $6000 put away to use towards his first car for education at 19. The older of the 2 is looking at $11,000 with another 2 years to save(at 23 I start charging because I want them to be able to experience independance and l want them to see how capable and resilient they are without mom and dad always back stopping them hopefully before we are no longer there due to old age and infirmity.)

    • Reply Lisa |

      There are financial affects whenever an additional person is added to a household (even for a short time). Hope is smart to realize that. Extra food, extra utility usage, extra personal care items, TP, etc.

  • Reply Emily N. |

    I’m sure you’re so glad to have him back home! Best of luck to all of you as you work through this transition.

  • Reply Marzy-d |

    Hope, you are a wonderful mother. You sound so and confident when you speak about how you support your children’s education.

    I think there are a number of college scholarships for kids who spent time in foster care, perhaps that could help moving forward.

So, what do you think ?