Have you ever been to a wedding where they have said “your presence is our present”? In other words, saying there is no need for gifts?
A couple months ago we got a wedding invite with that printed at the bottom of the invitation.
The problem is we were NOT able to be present (as the wedding was being held in Austin at a time when we could not return). Also, these are relatives of ours that gave us a very generous wedding gift when we were wed 5 years ago. Not that everything has to be tit-for-tat, but we definitely wanted to do something for the couple, especially given that we were unable to be there personally to support them on their big day.
Also, the main reason (in my opinion) why they said no gifts were necessary is because they have been together for nearly a decade, living together for the past 7 years. So most of the newly married type gifts (kitchen accessories, household items, etc.) were unnecessary since they already have a fully furnished home they own together. Why did they not get married years ago? Well, without turning this into a political thing, it’s a gay couple so they were legally unable to be wed until the new law passed. My point is that they don’t want/need the traditional wedding type gifts. But that doesn’t mean their marriage shouldn’t be recognized!
The wedding was actually about a month ago, but according to Emily Post (the go-to name on etiquette), wedding gifts can be sent within 3 months of a wedding. (side note: good thing I’m still within that time frame! I’d thought etiquette was within a YEAR of the wedding!) Soooo, I finally got around to getting a wedding gift figured out.
First, I bought a card for $3. This is a splurge for me because I typically buy cards from the Dollar Tree, 2 for $1, so getting a $3 card is certainly an exception (not my norm). Next, I checked out what kinds of points I’ve got available on my credit card. If you recall, I still use a credit card for set withdrawals (not for everyday purchases, but for big expenses like preschool). I had enough points to order a $25 Amazon gift card totally free! And, because I felt like that wasn’t quite enough, I made a $25 donation to the Human Rights Campaign in the couple’s honor.
In all I spent $28 (that’s a $3 card and $25 donation), but I was able to gift $50 worth of gifts: a $25 Amazon gift card for their use, and a $25 donation to an organization the couple supports.
I just dropped the card in the mail, but I wrote a nice letter to the couple and included the Amazon gift card and the email print-up about the donation made in their honor. I’m sure they’ll be happily surprised when they open their mailbox to discover a little something for them and a little something for the Human Rights Campaign. I realize it’s not a lot of money for either source (the gift card or the organization), but I think the gift shows thought and consideration and I hope it is appreciated.
Have you ever made a donation in someone else’s name in lieu of buying the person a gift?