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Kids’ Birthdays on the Cheap

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I really love that we have four bloggers because each of us has a unique situation and unique circumstances in our lives. No one is “the same.” I think this makes it really fun to compare and see where we’re all at.

One thing that certainly strains the budget with small children is the expense of childcare. Currently, we pay approximately $600/month for care 3 days a week (and, believe it or not, this is one of the best rates in town! Literally half of what we used to spend at the JCC when we only went 2 days a week!) So that’s definitely tough.

But one area where I feel like we have things so much easier than the other bloggers is precisely the fact that our children are so young. I have seen the others talking about activities their children engage in, expenses for birthday parties, etc.

Sure, overall, we still spend a ton on things for our kids (due primarily to the childcare expenses), but I’m so happy that the kids are still young enough that we aren’t currently trying to combat spending on various extracurricular activities while we’re focused on debt repayment (I do wonder how long this will last though….there are lots of options that open up to 3-year-olds so we may only have another year before starting to pay for classes of one kind or another). Also, they’re still so young that there’s no big expectations for GRAND birthday parties that seem to have become the norm in the US culture.

You know what I’m talking about. We’ve all been to them, or at least seen pictures on Facebook and/or Pinterest. Kids’ birthday parties these days seem to cost the same as a wedding! You rent a venue, hire a face painter, maybe a clown or even pony for pony rides. I’ve seen parties with rented popcorn machines, cotton candy machines, and catered lunches for the grown-ups. For those “going cheap” and doing the party at home, I still see people renting tents, tables, and chairs. They rent a bounce house for the kids, and sometimes have live music or other entertainment. Cakes are baked by professional bakers with elaborate themes and multiple tiers. It’s an experience, for sure.

I have seen all of this, and more. None of this is made up or exaggerated in any way. And I have seen it for babies (literally 1 and 2 year olds). These kids are never even going to remember the party and their parents will probably be paying toward it (in the form of credit cards) for years to come. It’s all just too much. (Side note:  I am NOT suggesting this is what the other bloggers have done! I only referenced them because there’s been some discussion about the expense of kids’ birthday parties and I’m sharing things I, personally, have seen and experienced).

I am the opposite. I am a play-in-the-dirt girl. And while my kids are still young enough not to really “get” the hoopla, I’m going to embrace it.

So here’s how we planned a little birthday party for the girls on-the-cheap (note:  the party is this weekend):

First, I scrapped the notion of paper invites. Because I consider this more of a get-together (versus traditional party), coupled with the fact that this was a relatively last-minute shindig (we just decided to do it 2 weeks in advance), we decided to scrap the idea of paper invites. A few family/friends were invited through email, text message, or in-person communications. I do think that paper invites will be fun when the girls are school aged, so they can pick out the invitations and mail to classmates, but its just another unnecessary expense at this age.

Second, I came up with an inexpensive menu. Since food is a big money-suck, I wanted to plan something that would work for a small crowd (we invited 10 adults + 7 children) and wouldn’t break the bank. I decided on a simple menu. I have a tough time holding myself back (I ALWAYS overdo the food at any get-togethers we have), so I was meticulous about planning everything out and sticking to it. Our menu includes:

  • Appetizers:  Chips (Costco), Salsa, and Guacamole (homemade)
  • Entree: Chicken Sausages and Sonoran hotdogs (a Tucson thing – if you’ve never heard of one, see this).
  • Sides: Pinto beans (made in bulk from dried beans), fruit salad (made from an assortment of fruit currently in season and on sale at Sprouts)
  • Dessert: Cake (homemade) and ice cream
  • Drinks:  Water, Iced Tea, and debating alcohol….what’s the “norm”? My husband and I aren’t big drinkers, but I don’t mind buying some beer if that’s customary.

That’s it. I had a friend offer to bring something and I said she was welcome to bring a side if she liked. I specifically requested that people not bring presents. We really don’t need anything and I don’t want people to feel obligated. I want this to be low-key – more emphasis on spending time together rather than birthday festivities.

Next, I came up with colors instead of a theme. I didn’t want to do a big “theme” because I didn’t want to get sucked into the whole warp of doing everything to the nine’s. Instead of “princess” or “jungle safari” or whatever else is common for 2-year-olds, I went with simple pink. I know we won’t have enough plates and cutlery for everyone, so I went to Walmart and bought:

  • Two 10-packs of pink dinner plates (clearance for 50 cents each)
  • Two 10-packs of pink cake plates (clearance for 50 cents each)
  • Two 10-packs of pink cups (clearance for 50 cents each)
  • One 24-pack of pink cutlery (clearance for 50 cents)
  • One roll of pink crepe paper (99 cents)

In addition to these, on the day of the  get-together, I plan to send hubs to Dollar Tree to get some pink helium balloons. The girls are obsessed with balloons these days so they’ll LOVE them, and you can’t beat $1! Can’t find them anywhere that cheap!

The final step is just to stick to the plan! I’ve seen Mr. Money Mustache talk about avoiding consumerism as a way of saving money. Its SO TRUE! Just walking down the party aisle at Walmart was tough. There are SO MANY cute things! I start thinking – Oh, this would be fun! Oh, that’s cute too! Oh, the girls would love this! etc. etc. etc. Then I reel myself back in, remind myself that I specifically told everyone this was a low-key thing, and that I don’t want to embarrass myself (or others) by decking my house out after I’ve told everyone this is NOT a “party.”

Going along with the not-a-party theme, I didn’t plan anything for guest/goodie bags. I don’t know if this is considered a faux pas or not, but that’s what it is. We also didn’t get elaborate table cloths, center pieces, pinatas, etc etc etc. The plan is to hang out in the backyard while Chris grills up some food, and to enjoy each others’ company. I really want that to be the primary focus (the girls’ birthday as a secondary focus). I don’t mean for this to sound harsh. I’m sure at some point in the future we’ll do the whole piñata “real” birthday party shebang (minus the live entertainment, lol), but with them being so young I just don’t see the point in the expense for anything larger than this. I would rather get together with friends and enjoy ourselves.

How did you (or how do you plan to) celebrate young children’s birthdays? For the first birthday we literally did nothing. I bought a 4 pack of cupcakes from the grocery store and took pictures of the girls smashing cupcakes in their high chairs….no guests, no balloons, nothing celebratory at all. This year I wanted to do more to acknowledge the girls birthday, but still keep it really low key.

How did you (or how do you plan to) celebrate older children’s birthdays? Is there a difference? 

Do you serve alcohol for adults at a child’s birthday party? If so, what do you serve – beer? wine? both? I can make a mean pitcher of margaritas (I’m from Texas, remember?), but it seems like hard liquor is a little much for a child’s birthday. What do you think? FYI – this is going to be a dinner thing (as opposed to lunch thing), in case that makes a difference.

 


18 Comments

  • Reply Susan |

    Good for you for not buying into the over-the-top birthday parties for children! We always had at home parties for our kids vs. the McDonald’s, Chuckie Cheese, etc. parties. Not only was the food better, the entire party was better, in my opinion. We had a birthday party for the first time for each child when they turned 2 and we invited 2 friends from pre-school and the parents. Very low key — outside, little sandwiches, cut-up grapes, chips, cake and ice cream. I made the same sandwiches, only larger, for the adults. We had lemonade or water to drink. I do not believe in soda or tea for children! We had a Big Bird “theme” for our son and a Kitty-Cat (not Hello Kitty) theme for our daughter. What this meant is that I made a Big Bird cake for our son and a white kitty-cat cake for our daughter. I did buy paper goods, but they were all on sale.

    As the kids got older, we still stayed home. We just came up with our own ideas. This was all pre-Pinterest. One year for our son, I bought a balloon inflator and some of those long skinny balloons that are used to make balloon animals. My husband made balloon swords for all of the kids (all boys) and they had a blast having battles all over the backyard. That was the year that we had a Ninja Turtle cake and again, I made the cake and I did buy paper products, but I got everything on sale.

    A fun idea for little girls that I did for my daughter was the ballerina party. This is when she turned 5 and she and all of her little friends were taking ballet. I made everyone little nylon net tutus (nylon net is under $1 a yard!). For a craft, everyone made crowns. The “take home” treat was the tutu, the crown and some candy. After the crowns were ready, everyone put on a tutu and they danced for the parents. Lots of fun and cheap, cheap, cheap! I will confess that I made a tiered cake for our daughter that year. I bought her a little Precious Moments ballerina for the shelf in her room and I used the figurine as a cake topper. In spite of it being a tiered cake, it was truly very simple. Buttercream icing, lots of little frosting flowers, etc.

    When our son was a little older, we did a soccer game party. We used the field at the nearby elementary school and we fed them Little Caesar’s Pizza, lemonade, cake and ice cream.

    There are so many ways to do a nice party without spending $$$$. I am of the belief that big parties should be for milestone birthdays, like MAYBE sweet sixteen, or turning 21. And, even those milestone birthdays should not be over the top. Whoever heard of renting limousines for teenagers????? My thought is that a limo is for your wedding (although I just traveled with my Dad in his Dodge sedan) and for funerals. I know of people who have catered parties in hotel ballrooms. For children!!!!! For my sixteenth birthday, I was allowed to invite 5 friends to go out to a fancy restaurant for dinner. We all got very dressed up and we had a lovely time. No limo. No mini-bachelorette party (and don’t even get me started on those!).

    I am sorry this is such a long post, but this is such a pet peeve of mine. We are now raising a grandchild and at 3 years old, the party invitations have started to arrive. We have already been to the gymnastics place twice. $12 per child!!!! For three year olds????? Each of those parties had at least 20 children so right off the bat the parents spent $240. Nothing is included refreshment-wise, so the parents still had to buy all of that. From what I could guesstimate, each family spent at last 75 on food. Can you imagine???? $300+ for a three year old!

    In contrast, we had our grandson’s party right here at home. We played with the backyard toys, and that was about it. We had a hotdog lunch, cake, ice cream and lemonade. Each child took home a balloon. They all seemed very happy!

    • Reply Ashley |

      Thanks for the comment – these are some great ideas for when the kids get older! I love that you always made the cakes yourself! There’s nothing “wrong” with pretty, tiered cakes….I’m more opposed to the $$$ spent on them to be professionally made. If you can do the same thing yourself, then I’m all for it!
      In terms of the rented venues and food, etc….I would guess that $300 is on the conservative end. For real. It has seemed to be a trend across time for parties to get grander and grander (like the parents competing somehow?? < just my impression). I don't get it. I swear - no exaggeration - I have been to young children's parties (1 and 2 year olds) where the parents have EASILY spent $1,000+. Insane.

  • Reply Cori |

    As a teacher, I hear about some of the parties my students families provide or parties they have attended. I did not provide these types of parties for my boys and believe me they are fine. We had small gatherings with planned food and baked at home cake. Some of their friends still remember the year we made bird houses from scrap wood at one their parties. These are now young men in their 20’s. If you want to read about some great on the cheap birthday parties…read the Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyzyn (hope the spelling is correct). Good for you..you will reach your goals and still have fond memories.

    • Reply Ashley |

      Making bird houses from scrap wood sounds AWESOME!!! What a fun, unique, and creative party activity! Love it!!!

  • Reply Helene |

    I’m with you, Ashley. I don’t care at all for what kids’ parties have become – a venue where moms with lots of time on their hands and/or tons of money to spend can indulge their creative whims and create Facebook/Instagram-worthy moments. It’s just too much. Start them out like that when they’re wee and what kind of expectation does that create by the time they get married? As they age the ante has to be upped every year.

    No thanks. Kids can appreciate simple things too. I love all your ideas and also the idea of the ballerina party where everyone gets their own tutu. CUTE!

    Tangentially… I’m finding myself wishing more and more that there was a way to cultivate a local community of people who want to barter. Think how nice it would be for you to barter something you’re good at for someone to make a darling cake for your kid’s birthday, or maybe come and do magic tricks for the kiddies, or face-painting….it’s such an antiquated notion but I miss this relic of the old times. I keep hoping one day I will get up my nerve and maybe try and start small with a small group of women or something.

    • Reply Ashley |

      My husband’s father was an exterminator and bartered services all the time! I think it depends on your skills and local need, etc. I would love for my husband to barter his services (he installs wood flooring), but its difficult because the value of what my husband does equates to several thousand dollars so its not something easily bartered for a $50 hair cut, for example. It would take a LOT of hair cuts to meet in value. BUT – he did recently do a bid for a dentist(!!!) and is hoping that they might be able to work something out in exchange for dental work (we shall see…)
      The point is, I don’t think there has to be a defined bartering group. If you have a service to offer, then just approach people with things you need/want and see if you can strike a deal. I have a girlfriend who does hair and she does it all the time, to.

  • Reply Dimity |

    I have had my own event planning business for about ten years and it is crazy how kids’ birthday parties have evolved! I wouldn’t worry about serving alcohol at the party. If you and your husband aren’t big drinkers, odds are that you will have leftovers–of something you didn’t want in the first place! When people call to ask what they can bring (which they inevitably do!) you can mention what you are serving to drink and suggest they bring “other” beverages if they want. If you want a little more variety, have lemonade along with the iced tea and water. If you make big batches and put them in pitchers rather than buying individual bottled water or tea, you can save a lot of money. Have fun!

    • Reply Ashley |

      Funny story….when we moved in (August 2013) we had a get-together. We made beer-butt chicken, so we needed to buy beer anyway. We got an 18 pack of beer, thinking that people would enjoy a beer or two. At the end of the event we counted up the beer in our cooler and had 17. The only one missing was for the chicken!!!! No one had a single one! Ha! But that was fewer people and a lunch-thing, so I don’t know if it makes a difference??

  • Reply Tammy |

    I think it sounds like a great party! The menu sounds great.

    I would not have alcohol at a children’s party. I have never been to one that does and I wouldn’t want to feel responsible for someone having a couple of beers and then getting in the car with their kids.

    • Reply Ashley |

      That’s a good point! I do think our friends are pretty responsible, though. I have 2 couples coming that are child-less and those are really the people that I think might want a beer. I really can’t even imagine any of our guests drinking to excess (not saying its always been that way, but certainly at this point in our lives).

      • Reply Juhli |

        Your childless friends will survive one meal without beer. Keep in mind that you never “have to” serve alcohol. Just offer ice water and something tastier to drink like ice tea and everyone will be happy.

  • Reply Alexandria |

    Your party sounds like ours. It sounds great! (We always get compliments for having such laid back and simple parties. Even our spendy friends seem to enjoy the change of pace).

    I have never served alcohol at a child’s birthday party. But we also did not serve alcohol at our wedding. 😀 Not really anti-alcohol, and we drink in moderation. But it just wouldn’t occur to me to have booze at a child’s birthday party. & as the kids get older, the adults don’t tend to stay, so it has never come up.

  • Reply Shirley |

    With four children, now grown I invited as many children as their age was that birthday. We did activities like movies, art projects like painting stepping stones, shirts, crafts. For one of my sons we went to a trout farm so they could fish for the first time. I’m not sure what the parents thought of the surprise package they brought home with their catch though. Bowling was a hit for a couple of Birthdays but many of them were just happy to go on an event they might not experience at home.

  • Reply Sarah |

    Right there with you! My kids are grown, but we never did the big party thing. Almost always we had them at home – in the afternoon so no need to provide a meal. I might have one activity – a simple game, Easter egg hunt, homemade pinata etc – and then the kids always entertained themselves. The highlight of my son’s 7th birthday party was when the boys dug up a stump in the yard! And my kids would have pitched a fit if the cake was not homemade! I am not a cake decorator by any means, but I made a pick-up truck, a train, space shuttle, Barbie cake, telephone cake … and the list goes on. One fun idea for girls – when my daughter was 13 or 14, my neighbor enlisted her to help give “makeovers” at her daughter’s party. They set up little vanity stations outside and the girls had a ball. For my daughter’s 13th, we had a “mystery dinner” that they all still talk about. (They select from a menu of fun names without knowing what they’re ordering – leads to lots of laughs!) One teenage son had a scavenger hunt. There are so many fun things that are inexpensive and that the kids will remember a lot longer than Chuck E. Cheese madness!

  • Reply Laura |

    I’ve never done alcohol at a kids party. I also don’t think it needs to be done at a baby shower either, which is a trend I am seeing lately. That said, you said this was more of a get together first and a birthday party second. And you have childless friends coming. It that case it might be nice to have some beer, though I certainly don’t think it’s a necessity.
    We have just done parties at home with family. A few balloons, cute plates and cups. Sub sandwiches or hot dogs for food. I do get a bakery cake though, because I can’t bake to save my life. It’s one thing that is worth spending a little $ on so I don’t have to worry about it.

    • Reply Ashley |

      That sounds like a lovely party! A couple of people have commented on the cakes and I didn’t intend to offend with my comment. We can all pick and choose where to save and where to spend so if everything else is inexpensive, there’s no reason you can’t splurge on a bakery cake. I even looked at Costco bakery cakes for the girls (but they’re HUGE – to feed 50 people!). But I also think there’s a difference between a $20 or $30 grocery store bakery cake versus a $150+ wedding cake style cake (you know what I mean? with all the tiers and fondant designs, etc.) Just wanted to clarify because I don’t want to make people feel bad if they purchase a cake!

      • Reply Laura |

        I know what you mean. Some are multi tiered and pretty fancy, and I’m sure expensive! I do the decorated grocery store sheet cake 🙂

  • Reply Tania |

    I know the party is too soon, but next time, try looking for the decor online. I know a friend who was eying a Thomas the Train birthday party, and at the local stores, plates, cutlery and napkins were going to be so costly, but she got it all super cheap online and was able to add favors with the money saved. As you said, kids dont really care or mind (at least not til they turn 12+) about the party… it’s more of a cake thing. A play date with adults present. So bunch of balloons, small games, lots of bouncy balls, string, mess-making things, etc.

    Our family doesnt drink, but the father’s side does, so I *think* they had beer… I never went to check. I’d say lemonade, but if you go with alcohol, I’d say beer. Wine sounds (to me!) a bit out of place, unless you’re making a bit of fancier food to go along with it.

So, what do you think ?