by Beks
I was reminded again this weekend about the need to invest in an incredibly valuable commodity…
My marriage.
I’ve talked about this investment in the past but haven’t mentioned it in a while.
In the book, The Millionaire Next Door, the author shares the importance of keeping a marriage together. Most millionaires stay married to the same person. A large reason they were able to stay millionaires is because divorce is EXPENSIVE.
Our neighbors announced their upcoming divorce this weekend. Unable to afford the house on their own, they will likely be forced to sell it. I’m sad to lose them as neighbors, and I’m sad at the loss of their marriage.
I know they didn’t wake up yesterday morning and decide they didn’t want to be together anymore. It was a long, slow separation.
No, I’m not stupid. I understand that not all divorces are preventable (and in cases of abuse, they are healthy) but I know I’m guilty of being lazy in my marriage sometimes and neglecting my poor spouse.
So I gave him an extra squeeze, snuggled near him on the couch while I read my book and he watched the sports show he loves so much, and told him how much I really love him.
Financial investments – important. Marriage investment – vital.
Beks is a full-time government employee who enjoys blogging late into the night after her four kids have gone to sleep. She’s been married to Chris, her college sweetheart, for 15 years. In 2017, after 3 long years working the Dave Ramsey Baby Steps, they paid off more than $70K and became debt free. When she’s not working or blogging, she’s exploring the great outdoors.
Our neighbors across the street from us in our old neighborhood went through the same thing, although the money was what pulled them apart in the first place. They both needed to work long hours to afford the house (I admit, it was beautiful, with water views), they started to drift apart, and, eventually, the marriage was over (and they never got to enjoy the house either, because they were literally working all the time, and of course neither one could afford it alone).
Agreed. And isn’t it so upsetting when people you know go down that road? For both selfish and unselfish reasons.
And especially important now that you are parents. So many couples turn in to co-parents only and don’t pay enough attention to the relationship that created the child–your relationship with your husband. It’s good for your son to grow up in a household where is parents honor their relationship with each other.
Yes! I couldn’t agree more. So often we neglect the people who are so important to us. The monetary costs are huge, as are the cost of broken families and hearts. We wrote about the worth of marriage on our blog today and are trying to collect some stories to share on our site. Let me know if you’d want to participate! All the best and congrats on the little guy!
I agree with KLM 100%. When I was about 13, I babysat two little ones for a young couple. The wife always got home first, and then the husband would come in the door about 1/2 hour later. They would meet in the kitchen, completely ignoring me and the kids, and would spend a few minutes hugging and smooching. THEN, and only then, did Daddy turn his attention to the kids. 30+ years later they still have a fantastic relationship because they always put their relationship first. After all, the kids will eventually be gone, and if you don’t take time to nurture your marriage, you won’t have one when the time comes. Please note: It is really hard when they are little to give your spouse the attention he deserves. Do it. No matter what. Put him first. You two are the foundation for the children’s whole lives. It’s worth the investment. **sermon over** 🙂
Great post!! 🙂
Excellent post! And excellent comment by Claire…LOVE the babysitting story!
Awesome post and awesome story by Claire. Very uplifting this morning . . .
I’ve been married over a decade and have found marriage to be pretty *easy.* I think we are just extremely compatible.
That said, if there was ever a time when our marriage wasn’t going to make it, it was when we had small children. Really tough times. It’s easy to set your spouse aside, and make them your last priority, when you are under so much stress.
I share, because this is a good time to focus on that investment!
In the last couple of years, feels like just about everyone we know has gotten divorced. It’s usually a complete surprise (they put on a good front). It’s very sad to watch, and reminds us how important our marriage is to us.
You do need to continue to invest in your relationship/marriage. As someone who is recently divorced, I can tell you, sometimes it’s not enough.
All you can do is try…
Love this post! This October will be 28 years with my husband and best friend. Life is so much more interesting with someone you have lots of time and experiences with. We started with practically nothing and have a wealth of treasures stored up in the life we’ve built, the children we’ve been blessed with and the richness of challenges we’ve weathered together. Hold fast to this “investment” it’s worth the the time and effort it takes to make it last!!
Amen! You are right, marriage is the most important investment and it can be so easy to get lost in money stress. America, though wonderful to live in, can be difficult because of its materialistic thinking. Nice post!
Divorce is especially expensive for women, who often don’t make the money that their ex.does.
Investing in a marriage is so important. My parents sometime takes the kids on Saturdays. So on Saturdays we do our errands together, like a mini date. Dates and time together does not always have to be a big hoopla, just time together when you really focus on each other. Sometime it’s just going grocery shopping or regular errands, but it’s time for us to reconnect and talk. It’s amazing how much discussion you can have driving between each places. We also try to go out for lunch to places we know the kids would not enjoy but we love.
Great post – and I loved reading the comments as well. Definitely a reminder to me that as DH begin our journey into parenthood it will be more important than ever to set aside some time for each other – even if it’s just a few minutes!
Marriage is work every day.
My brother and his wife divorced after having 4 lovely kids and 22 years together. The kids are a mess – but show a smile because their parents expect more of them now than they ever did before. The house is gone- neither could afford it alone- foreclosure- meaning both now have terrible credit. Both work many more hours- since they both have to provide for the teens independently. College, private schools, lessons, sports—it is amazing how it all adds up.
Bummer
Somehow they missed the part of “in good times and in bad”.