by Beks
I’ve said it before, I ride public transit. Sure it’s not my favorite way to get around, but it saves me serious cash so I put up with the inconvenience.
If there is one thing you learn – and learn fast – about riding public transit, it’s how to identify the ‘creepers’. I know in 5 seconds flat who will give me grief.
This morning, I noticed a ‘Grade A Creeper’. ‘Grade A Creepers’ are the people you are willing to step back off the bus or train to avoid. He looked disoriented, disheveled, and up to no good. I nearly stepped back out, but I was in a rush to get to work and decided to take my chances.
Bad idea.
As soon as we started moving, he stood to face us. There were four of us on board… all young women. A disgusting smile spread across his face as he slowly started walking toward us. He was, well, I’m not sure how to put this. He was, ‘pitching a tent’ in his pants.
He walked up to two of the women, blocked them in, and started groaning and moaning at them. His ‘tent’ only grew.
In a panic, I hurriedly dialed the emergency number for the train (I keep them on speed dial). Just so you know, in emergency situations, I am not the best person to help.
‘What direction are you headed?’
‘Northeasterly? Oh wait. No, Southwest?’
‘What is the man wearing?’
‘Purple? No. Green. Wait. Blue.’
Despite my poor directions, I apparently gave enough information for them to identify the guy and force him off the train to an awaiting group of officers. Maybe it was because he was the only guy on the train. Whatever.
I went up to the women, made sure they were OK, and gave them the security number in case they should ever need it.
That was it.
I didn’t singlehandedly wrestle him to the floor and punch him. I didn’t shout at him. In fact, I really think I could have done more. I was simply too terrified.
Well…
Turns out, one of those folks onboard sent an e-mail to a clerk in HR and titled it ‘EMPLOYEE DESERVES TO BE COMMENDED’ (my company ID badge was pinned at my waist). The person identified what I was wearing, what I did, and what I said. It was an incredibly kind e-mail. The HR clerk identified me and forwarded the e-mail to the head of HR. The head of HR forwarded the e-mail to me, the CEO, the CFO, the head of legal counsel, and to my direct boss.
The CEO, who I’ve spoken with once in my whole career, personally came down to thank me for helping others. My boss and the head of HR also came to congratulate me.
I was stunned. I kept trying to say, ‘I didn’t DO anything!’ but they didn’t seem to listen.
So, I can keep fighting, keep saying how much I didn’t do, OR, I can smile, say thank you, hope they remember this when promotions are announced, and get back to work.
I choose option B.
What a weird, weird, weird day.
Beks is a full-time government employee who enjoys blogging late into the night after her four kids have gone to sleep. She’s been married to Chris, her college sweetheart, for 15 years. In 2017, after 3 long years working the Dave Ramsey Baby Steps, they paid off more than $70K and became debt free. When she’s not working or blogging, she’s exploring the great outdoors.
Wow! What a weird day indeed. You did do something though, you acted with a cool clear head and what a great idea to have the emergency phone number. Even though you didn’t say anything to him directly(smart by the way) you did say something. You deserve to be patted on the back.
It was indeed brave and smart. You don’t have to fight physically to be termed as brave. Being mentally alert, prepared also count in that. Bravo girl.
You are to be commended. I know I wouldn’t have had the emergency number with me. You were prepared and didn’t do anything that you couldn’t handle, but the exact right thing for the situation. Accepting thanks is sometimes the hardest thing to do when we grow up thinking that being a hero means being a “superhero”.
Good for you.
I just read an article in the local paper about a woman on a bus who was repeatedly groped on her way to work. She called the police after she got to her stop. The man got off the bus at the next stop and got away. What amazed me about the article was that, while she pushed his hand away repeatedly, she didn’t say anything to anyone. She just sat there, quietly, putting up with it. As a mother of a teenaged daughter, it really worries me to know that women will put up with quite a lot rather than call attention to themselves. Why is it so many of us feel embarrassed to ask for help when we are under attack?
I am going to tell my daughter (and my sons) about what you did. Hopefully, it will help her in the future to use her brain and her voice when she needs to. BEFORE she kicks his ass (oh yeah, she takes karate)! Congratulations.
Awesome job! I agree with the others, you did a great thing. Way to use your head!!
What an amazing story! You should be proud. Remember our biggest critics are ourselves. I enjoy your writing. When I read it, I can “hear” your voice! Keep up the great job…I look forward to your posts!
There are different ways to handle things. You took affirmative action in a non-aggressive, passive manner. In this case, that is not a negative. I don’t think that confronting him directly would have solved the issue or shamed him into stopping. It would have just brought you to his attention. I agree that you should be commended and I’m happy for everyone involved that you got on the train and were able to help the other women on board.
Well done, Beks. 😀
You did a great thing! I’m sure those women really appreciated you handling this the way you did. Unfortunately these days, you never know who is one step away from Crazyville…this guy could of had a knife or a gun and if you had acted aggressively, it could have been very, very bad. Take the slap on the back and the warm fuzzies. You totally deserve them! 🙂
Congratulations for being level-headed in a stressful situation! Glad everything worked out well. A small word of caution: You might want to reconsider wearing your company ID away from the office. Some companies and government agencies frown on this as a matter of employee safety. it’s not always the best idea to advertise where you work when out in public away from the office. You just never know who is watching these days. Again, glad everyone is safe.
Great job!!!!! Seriously – you had the emergency number and the presence of mind to call it!! And then you checked on the women after to make sure they were ok! A lot of people would have tried to hide from the guy and do nothing. And I think confronting him would have made it far worse.
Now I’m off to program in the MBTA’s (Boston mass transit) emergency number into my cell phone…
What an awesome thing you did! Although you don’t think you did anything special, those other women certainly think you did. There’s no telling how much worse that guy could’ve gotten if he hadn’t been removed from the train.
And although it was weird and uncomfortable, it is also a good thing you DID get on.
I am sharing this post during my weekend round up tomorrow!
as if you happen to counter enough creepers to have the emergency number on speed dial!!LOL
That was awesome though, and it was super nice of that person to write in about you. That kind of thing barely happens anymore.
Beks,
You DID do something. You made a call that no one else made. You took a stand when no one else did. If you had not been on that train, those women would have had to make some choices: quietly endure whatever that pervert did, get off the train and wait for the next one, or take a stand themselves and do something about the guy. Most likely they would have opted for the first or second option rather than the third.
I agree with MyMoneyMess. You DID something. Way to go!
You did great. I think staying clear was wise. The guy certainly has more experience in altercations than you do, given his hobby, and you should never play to your opponent’s strengths.
On the other hand, I’d like to imagine I’d have kicked him where he’d least appreciate it.
The very first time I ever got on an LA bus, a drunk guy stood over me (I was in the aisle seat next to a male friend) and slurred about how pretty I was and eventually asked me to marry him. It took years before I would get public transportation in LA again.
Aw! Awesome! It’s always great getting compliments at work! You did DO something .. you did what you were capable of doing and you may have saved some other poor woman from being harassed even further by this man. Doing “nothing” would entail you watching this disgusting scene and saying/doing nothing and getting off that train and going about your day. But you called the right authorities and gave the women a resource that they could use the next time they have trouble on public transit 🙂
This made me tear up for some reason. LOL. It is nice to know that there are people out there like you that will do the right thing and people that appreciate what you did.