First of all, thank you everyone for your nice words and the well wishes for the future addition to our family. And thank you for the well wishes for quitting smoking. I wish I had better news to report with how I did today. I didn’t do so well…
I had great intentions and was pumped and ready when I went to sleep last night. When I woke up, it was a different story. The need for nicotine was right there and I couldn’t quit thinking about cigarettes. So I had half a cigarette.
As I was trying to work, having a cigarette was constantly on my mind. It was driving me crazy. After a while, even the click of my mouse started sounding like my lighter clicking. I always knew I was addicted; it became even more obvious with what was going on through my mind.
Before long, I was back downstairs and getting ready to go outside. I told my husband, “Well, I already blew it bigtime.” He suggested that I try to cut down and for the rest of the day I’ve only had half-cigarettes. True, cutting down is an option and I did that before when I was pregnant with my son. The thought was that while I was in the hospital I would give up the cigarettes completely. Well, didn’t work. As soon as I could leave my room without having the nurses yell at me I was out and about looking for where I could smoke. In fact, I almost was locked out of the hospital in the process!
This time, I want to quit and I want to quit for good. Maybe I should try weaning myself off of cigarettes instead of quitting cold turkey. Or maybe I should discuss this with my doctor when I visit him/her. Perhaps there is something I can take that is safe during pregnancy that will help. Maybe they might have some suggestions or can point me to a smoking cessation group.
Learning that I was pregnant put an urgency to quitting smoking, so I gave it a shot today. I feel very frustrated that I didn’t last very long. I recognize this feeling, and it’s lead to giving up before. I don’t want to give up. I think I need a plan, just like we have a plan for our debt reduction.
Thanks again to everyone that wished me well with quitting smoking. I feel horrible that I couldn’t do it today, but I’m not going to give up. I will become a non-smoker.