fbpx
:::: MENU ::::

Sep 9, 2018    |       8 comments

Lawyer No-Go

by

Technically, this post should have come before my moving post because this happened prior to the move, but as I’m sure you can imagine things were pretty chaotic the few days leading up to and then right after the move so I’m circling back to this now.

On the advice of several readers, I decided to book a consultation with a lawyer prior to moving. I’m glad I did, as it really convinced me that I DO need to move forward with proper representation. But the specific person I met with is a big No-Go for me.

I went directly to the lawyer consultation from work one afternoon.

Walking in, I wasn’t even greeted by the office staff. I literally stood there, kind of waiting to be acknowledged, and then when I wasn’t I signed into the Sign-In sheet (kind of like what you see at a doctors’ office – totally odd), and just sat down to wait.

I was kept waiting about 10 minutes past my appointment time. Not a huge deal, I’ve been kept waiting longer elsewhere so I wasn’t too worried about it.

Then the lawyer walks out to greet me (first person to even acknowledge me – the office staff literally never said a word. Not a “hello”, no offer of a bottle of water from their fully stocked mini-fridge, nothing). I follow him back to his office. First thing he asks is, “So, why are you considering a legal separation rather than a divorce?”

I answered with the first response that came to mind – the response that seemed most genuine and correct. I said, “Well, we’re not sure about divorce at this point.”

In response to this, the lawyer literally rolled his eyes (HE ROLLED HIS EYES!!!) and said, “I need you to be honest in order for me to best help you. Is the reason you’re seeking legal separation because you need to stay on your husbands’ insurance and benefits?”

UMMMMMM, COME AGAIN????

I was floored. I mean, truly shocked. First, that he’d talk to me this way (coupled with the non-verbal eye-roll). Second, that this is 2018 and misogyny is so clearly alive and well.

I was like….”No, actually. It’s more so that HE will be able to stay on MY insurance and benefits.”

But seriously….wtf? There was no coming back for the guy at this point. We did go on to have a reasonable consultation and I feel like I received some valuable advice. But in no way, shape, or form do I want to go back and retain this person to serve as my legal representative.

Has anyone else had a similar experience with a lawyer before? This was my only consultation so far, but I’ve dealt with lawyers in regard to my Dad’s estate before and have never had these types of interactions. I know lawyers get kind of a bad reputation as a group, but this was bad, y’all. It felt so rude and condescending. Bottom line, I WILL be moving forward with trying to establish legal representation and have help with completing and filing the legal separation paperwork. But I will NOT be using this guy. I just moved and am still settling in so this has been put on the back-burner for now, but soon I’ll start making the calls to new folks and trying to set up additional consultations. Maybe I’ll purposely look for some female lawyers, just because.

Sep 8, 2018    |       4 comments

Move Complete

by

I moved over Labor Day weekend and the move is now complete!

I’m about 90% settled into the new house. The kitchen was the first thing to be set up, then my room, the kids’ room, and living room. I’ll be using the 3rd bedroom as an office (the girls are sharing a room), but I don’t have any office furniture yet and am in no hurry to get any so it’s kind of in a state of disarray (I’ve been working in the kitchen at the bar). I’ve been keeping my move costs as low as possible, but random stuff still comes up. I left the router and modem so I had to buy a new one, for example (also – when TH did routers and modems start costing so much money? I thought that was going to be like a $20 purchase. Bahaha!)

But, where I ended up having to spend some money, I’ve been able to save in other places. My Mom gifted me a dresser for the girls’ room (side note: I initially wrote “my mom gifted us” and had to change it to “me.” Kinda sad….still getting used to the whole “solo” thing). And my sister/Dad (sis and I share POA for my Dad’s estate) gifted me the washer/dryer set. Woohoo! All the really important “big” stuff is complete.

The only “big” things remaining that I’ll need include: some type of coffee table for the living room (it’s looking pretty barren with a single couch and that’s it, but no rush on this), and eventually a desk and chair for the office. Thanks for the tip from a reader to check out the university’s surplus store! I’ve already seen several desk/chairs for really cheap (like, $25 for read wooden desk!). I don’t have a truck that can transport the big pieces at this point, and I’ve been fine working from the kitchen for now, so I’m just not worrying about setting up the office at this point. Maybe I’ll pick out a smaller desk or borrow a truck from a friend at some point. For now, I’m fine as-is.

It’s incredible how quickly the new place has come to feel like “home.” Even with no decoration, nothing on any walls, and still piles of boxes (albeit, in the office only), this place just feels like “mine.” I mean….I’m renting so technically it’s NOT even mine…I’m just a tenant. But it FEELS like mine. The girls and I made cookies one of our first days and took a plate over to the neighbors so we could introduce ourselves. Feels like our neighborhood.

I’m relieved with how well the transition has gone (knock on wood). I’m sure there will be tough times (emotionally), but right now we’re still flying high on the excitement of a new house, new neighborhood, new neighbors, new parks with new amenities, etc. etc. etc. Good times. <3

Happy Saturday!

 

1 … 454 455 456 457 458 … 1,829