The “Tradition” of New Clothes for the First Days of School

My son starts school soon, and buying school clothes is on my mind. My mother-in-law has already asked a few times if we’ve purchased our son new shoes (once to me and once to my husband), which we both have replied that we bought new shoes for him about a month ago so we don’t need to buy him more shoes.

I’m not sure who created the idea that children should have brand new clothes the first days of school, but it sure bothers me. It probably has roots with keeping up with the Jones’ and it poses a dilemma for parents who do not want to or cannot buy into the “tradition.”

My son could care less what he is wearing. As long as it fits, it’s fine with him. That sort of follows mom and dad’s way of thinking so we are proud of him there. He hasn’t bought into the notion of needing cartoon characters on his shirts.

I wouldn’t have a problem sending him to school with clothes that are a little faded or shoes where the white is now off-white. But, as a parent, I worry about him. I wonder if the other children in his class may make fun of him because he isn’t wearing a “Cars” t-shirt or he doesn’t have brand new shoes where they still light up when you walk.

Things have changed a lot since I went to kindergarden and I wonder how much the kids have really grown up. When I started school, I learned the alphabet in kindergarden. Now, they are expected to have already learned their letters in preschool.Â Do the five year-olds today care what other kids are wearing? And if they do, and start teasing my son, how will he react to their words?

Unfortunately, I know what I would like to do – march into the school and give those teasing kids a little lesson on personal finance .Â But for him, will he hold his head down and feel bad because he doesn’t have everything the other kids have?Â Or will he be strong enough to know that it isn’t what you wear or what you have that makes a person…it’s who you are and how you treat others?

Of course, I hope he is strong enough.Â But I know that I need to help get him there.Â

Whoever said parenting is “the toughest job you’ll ever love” sure hit the nail on the head

Posted by Tricia on August 23, 2006 at 1:59 PM in Kids & Money | 9 Comments »
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Maggie responded:
Posted: August 23rd, 2006 at 2:09 pm
I understand you mixed feeling. I think there was something about making the transition. As a kid, we got new clothing at back to school time because we grew. We also wore “nice” clothes to school. Now we are a more casual society. Kids’ wear shorts to school a lot. When I started going to a school requiring uniforms, we still got new school shoes becasue we did not wear tennis shoes all the time. They were not part of the uniform.

My 6yo went to school wearing his uniform for the first time. I was able to dig up 3 pair of uniform shorts and a bunch of white and light blue polos that his brother outgrew. He’s allowed to wear his tennis shoes. He did not need new “dress” or “school” shoes. Fortunately it did not bother him. Now my 11 Yo thinks he needs a new pair of tennis shoes becasue his are starting to peel.
Amber responded:
Posted: August 23rd, 2006 at 4:16 pm
Ditto what Maggie said. My brothers and I only got new clothes for school because we’d grown out of the ones we wore the year before. No uniforms but we went to private schools that had a dress code so pants and skirts had to be a certain length etc. We usually got away with not having to buy new summer clothes every year but school clothes were almost a must.
Karen responded:
Posted: August 23rd, 2006 at 5:14 pm
Tricia, peer pressure can be a real problem. My daughter is grown now, and has a child of her own; but I can still recall an incident where she had a brand new pair of jeans, that looked really good on her, and she refused to wear them after one of the kids at school made a derogatory comment. I tried to tell her that she looked good and to ignore what was said but she was NOT wearing those jeans. I was furious but there was nothing that I could do. I did not buy into rushing out to buy her a new pair but I think it contributed to an ever-widening gap between us that typically comes between adolescent girls and their parents when they reach a certain age. Good luck to you! And pat yourself on the back for such a great job you have done so far!
Me responded:
Posted: August 23rd, 2006 at 5:15 pm
If it makes you feel any better, the height of fashion at my son’s school seems to be ratty, faded and torn clothes, so I’d think the shiney new stuff would stand out a lot more.
Tricia responded:
Posted: August 23rd, 2006 at 9:49 pm
Thanks everyone for your comments. My little guy is just growing up so fast and I guess I just want to protect him from all of the bad feelings in the world. I don’t ever want him to come home crying because his feeling are hurt. But, it is a part of growing up I guess. We will probably go shopping this weekend for pants, because he’s quickly growing out of all of his.

Me – heh, I didn’t even think of that. Some of those clothes today look worse than the oldest pair of jeans my husband has lol.
Kris responded:
Posted: August 23rd, 2006 at 10:02 pm
I’ve wondered these same things with my stepchildren. We traditionally buy them new clothes for school, but it’s still so hot they wear their summer clothes. But if we don’t send them back with new clothes, will something be said? I don’t know. The clothes they come with look kind of raggedy and I don’t know if they have other clothes. Don’t worry though, I have a line to some hand me downs and I’m all about the clearance racks. So, even if the kids don’t need them right now, it’s better to buy them on sale for a few months down the line.

Oh! And I’m all about buying plain clothing that doesn’t have characters or words on them. One day in the early years when I was wandering around confused in my new stepmommyness, trying to find some clothes, a woman approached me and told me that schools prefer that the kids wear plain clothing without all the little cartoon characters. It may have been the school in that area, I don’t know…but I kind of agree. And when it comes to the little shirts that draw attention to how cute little girls are with things like “Sweet Thing” or “Princess” I just don’t think we need that kind of advertising for pedophiles.
Jenni responded:
Posted: August 24th, 2006 at 3:59 pm
I just graduated from high school in ‘05, and I must say, I never got new clothes for school. I got new clothes every year for my birthday and Christmas, plus whatever ones I bought on my own. (except for the summer I grew six inches!)

I’m all for shirts without characters/sayings! I hate seeing little kids walking around with “drama queen” “hottie” “princess” etc on their shirts.
Mandi responded:
Posted: October 5th, 2006 at 8:15 pm
I’m in Michigan and it’s warm until around the first of October. The kids usually wear shorts until it starts getting cold. I don’t buy clothes until then.

I go through the clothes that were packed away for the summer to see what still fits and what needs to be passed on.

Before we had a washer and dryer we needed quite a bit more clothes, but luckily we have them now. We only need 6 pairs of pants, 10 shirts, and 3 sweat suits. That is a bit much too, but being as we just got the washer and dryer old habits die hard.

Waiting until it starts to cool down might not save me a lot of money (by missing sales) but it spreads out the back to school costs over 3 to 4 months.
candi responded:
Posted: May 4th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
I for one definet ly do not agree my kids MUST have wat they want and top notch shit so yea we shop at hollister aeropostale abercrombie&fitch and they must have jewlerly and thats just for my 3 girls now my boys are all about ” pimp” jewlerly so i get them chains and rings that are gold and we shop at ecko pac sun southpole tillys and etc… but both my 3 girls and 3 boys go to jourenys for their shoes and they don’t even skateborad but yea thats preety expensive every semester new shit