Money, Marriage and Compromising

My husband and I get along fairly well, except for one little thing. We often do not communicate clearly with each other. He knows that I am really trying to pay down debt (I take care of all of the finances), but I didn’t make it really clear to him how aggressive I was being. And when I say aggressive, I mean that I am often leaving only a few dollars in our checking account. That action is what led to using the credit card this past weekend.

We did get in a little bit of an argument because my husband does not understand how we can be making more money but still be broke. My reasoning is that I’d rather be broke for a little bit longer now and pay as much as possible to the credit cards. Once they are paid off – they will be money for other things. He would like to use some of the money now to have fun and purchase things we could not purchase before.

And that is where compromise comes in. We still haven’t finished discussing all of the details, but part of our resolution is that my husband is not going to quit his job at the moment. He is, however, switching his hours so he will have time to work on his business as well as have the same days off as me (which we haven’t had in ages). We are also going to use some of his earnings for “fun” things this summer.

Just like most things, a marriage can be a lot of work. But the compromise thing can help a lot

Posted by Tricia on May 24, 2006 at 7:40 AM in Money & Relationships | 6 Comments »
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mapgirl responded:
Posted: May 24th, 2006 at 9:09 am
Good luck on the career change for your husband! Entrepreneurship is the fastest way to high net worth in the US. I love a good Horatio Alger story.

It seems like you guys are being pretty smart and really understanding the point of view of the other. That’s great!

ps-I am still very in love with your blog facelift.
Chitown responded:
Posted: May 24th, 2006 at 9:31 am
I think that is a wonderful compromise. In the long run, I think it will help out a lot because you won’t feel deprived and you still get to live while maintaining your goals. Best wishes!
Lisa responded:
Posted: May 26th, 2006 at 3:39 pm
Another suggestion – spend some time sitting down with your husband when it’s bill time. If you have a budget, share it with him. I recently did this with my husband, and we sit down and do the monthly budget together every month, and now he sees why I frequently say “no” to purchases (I am the family finance person as well). It was very enlightening to him.
Tricia responded:
Posted: May 26th, 2006 at 5:00 pm
Perhaps part of our problem is that I don’t really have a budget. I actually have a really weird method that I use and I’d like to share it with everyone but it is hard to explain. But it’s a method I developed that makes sure the bills are paid on time and whatever is left over is for everything else.

Of course, I have certain monthly goals in my head that I try to maintain, but I should probably put something down on paper so he can look at it too.

Thanks everyone for your comments!
Blogging Away Debt » Blog Archive » Who Got Savvy With the Carnival of Personal Finance? responded:
Posted: July 25th, 2006 at 10:33 pm
[...] Right now I am so focused on reducing debt that it scares me sometimes. I worry that with paying so much off and cutting so many corners that maybe we aren’t living for today. That’s where my husband comes in and keeps me in check so I am thankful for that. [...]
Blogging Away Debt » Blog Archive » Money and Marriage: Tightening of the Financial Belt to Fight Debt responded:
Posted: August 27th, 2006 at 1:41 pm
[...] The little argument that we had lead to some compromising. He, at the time, was quitting his job and we decided that he would keep working for a while longer. We also made a bigger purchase that my husband really wanted to make (our inflatable kayaks which have been a lot of fun). A little bit later, we also spent some money to buy a game that he really wanted as well as a bass guitar that I have been missing for some years. [...]