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Posts tagged with: should i sell my house

Budgeting on a Variable Income: Lessons from a Single Mom Who’s Been There

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Life as a single mom was no walk in the park. Add a variable income to the mix, and it often felt like I was trying to build a house during an earthquake. Trust me, I’ve been there, way more times that I care to admit. And, unfortunately, most of the insecurity was due to my own ignorance, terrible decisions, and shame.

I’ve stared at bills piling up, wondering how on earth I was going to make it all work. I’ve made bad financial decisions out of desperation, neglected savings because “how could I possibly save when there isn’t enough to go around?”—and learned the hard way that a solid plan, even on a shaky income, is the lifeline we all need.

I don’t have it all figured out, but I’ve learned a few lessons through my own financial failures and wins. If you’re in a place where you feel like it’s impossible to gain control, let me tell you—you can. It starts with understanding where you are and building something, however small, to get to where you want to be.

Step 1: Budgeting for Reality, Not Hope

One of my biggest mistakes was planning as if my best-case-scenario paycheck was a sure thing every month. When you’re juggling a variable income, that’s a recipe for stress and late fees. I’ve learned to base my budget (or in my case, my forecast) on my lowest expected income instead. When things come in better than expected, that’s a bonus—but I don’t rely on it to pay the essentials. During the brief period, I was receiving a semblance of child support, I counted it as a bonus as it was never reliable in either delivery or amount.

Hope serious face

Breaking down my expenses into fixed (rent, utilities) and variable (groceries, gas) categories has also been life-changing. It’s humbling to admit how often I’ve overspent on things I didn’t truly need because I felt overwhelmed or wanted to make life feel “normal” for my kids. But sticking to a realistic budget would have been a much better move. I had to learn the hard way, I’m hoping that by documenting my failures, you will do better then me.

Step 2: Saving… Even When It Feels Impossible

Let me level with you—saving money when you’re barely scraping by feels ridiculous. I spent years telling myself, “I’ll start saving when things are better,” only to watch them never get better. What I’ve learned is that even a tiny amount—$5 here, $10 there—starts to add up, and more importantly, it builds a habit.

Creating a emergency fund fund where I keep at least $1,000 in a separate account that I don’t touch unless I absolutely have to has been life altering. There’s just a mental sigh of relief I breathe when that fund is fully stocked. It truly is worth it. Try it.

Hitting that goal was hard at first, but I started small. When I had an unexpectedly good month, I put a little extra in there. Now, I sleep better knowing that if my car breaks down or an unexpected bill comes up, I won’t immediately spiral into panic mode.

Step 3: Make a Plan for the Good Months

Here’s the thing about variable income: the highs can feel like a windfall, but if you’re not careful, they disappear just as quickly. I’ve learned (the hard way) that good months are my chance to play catch-up.

Now, whenever I have a better-than-usual month, I use a simple system:

  1. Pay off any overdue bills or high-interest debts.
  2. Add to my emergency fund.

Step 4: Use Tools That Make Life Easier

While I’m naturally organized, using a spreadsheet has been a game-changer for me. Some prefer apps like You Need a Budget (YNAB) but just using Google Sheets helps me track what’s coming in and what’s going out. It’s not about perfection—it’s about staying aware. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve avoided overdrafting simply because I checked my forecast before spending.

Step 5: Give Yourself Grace

Here’s the truth: no plan is perfect. I still have months where I mess up, when an unexpected expense throws everything off, or when I simply feel overwhelmed and make a bad choice. But I don’t let those moments define me anymore.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that it’s not about being perfect; it’s about being persistent. Each month is a fresh chance to do a little better than the last. And when I fall short, I try to learn from it, forgive myself, and move forward.

The Bottom Line

Being a single mom on a variable income is tough—there’s no sugarcoating it. But having a plan, even a simple one, can be the difference between barely surviving and starting to thrive. It’s not easy, but it is possible.

If you’re in a place where it feels like the walls are closing in, take a deep breath. Start small. Build that emergency fund, even if it’s just $20 at a time. Budget for the reality of your life, not the life you wish you had.

And most importantly, remember that you’re not alone. We’re all figuring it out one step at a time—and every step forward is worth celebrating.

The Holiday Season Is Here, and I’m Already Dreaming of 2025

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Thanksgiving came and went in a flurry of food, laughter, and cherished moments, and just like that, the holiday season is officially here. All of my kids and I converged in Texas at my parents at the same time for a whole week. Last Christmas, they all came home, but there was only a 24 hour overlap when everyone was together. My four older kids departed yesterday to return home and back to reality.

There’s just something magical about this time of year when the air feels a little crisper (even in Texas), the days seem shorter, and everything sparkles just a bit brighter. And being with my parents, siblings, and my kids…so grateful!

Hope's family photo - November 2024

The family gathered around my mom. We take no moments for granted. And my sister is the queen of keeping all our gatherings documented.

Catching up with the kids

I was able to get some alone time with each of the kids and have meaningful conversations—conversations that will linger in my heart, gave me pause, and will definitely be revisited over time. I could feel their love, their struggles, their hopes. As a mom, there’s no better gift than truly connecting with your kids and knowing they’re growing into their own lives while still valuing and relying on the family bond we share. And I’m already looking forward to next May when we plan to be together again for a family weekend and Princess college graduation.

Hope's family volleyball pic

A family volleyball game is a tradition we never pass up. We play boys vs girls, old vs young, and random. It’s always a grand adventure.

The twins are juggling their own unique adventures, and it was fun to hear their stories and aspirations. Gymnast is thriving in his pursuits, and he’ll come to Georgia for a week in January. Beauty, my eldest daughter—now engaged—shared updates about wedding ideas and how she’s already stressed about it…so many decisions. And Princess is headed home for finals week. One more semester til graduation! It’s surreal to watch your kids evolve into adults with dreams and responsibilities of their own, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Looking forward to 2025

As we transition from Thanksgiving to Christmas, my mind is already skipping ahead to 2025. Maybe it’s the planner in me, but I can’t help thinking about how much potential a new year holds. Big plans are brewing for my family, my business, and my personal growth. 2025 feels like it’s going to be the year, and I know that success doesn’t just happen—it takes preparation.

That preparation starts now.

For me, it’s about setting goals that align with my values and priorities. It’s about deciding what I want my life to look like a year from now and making a plan to get there. Refining my business strategies, fostering deeper relationships with my kids, and taking better care of myself physically and emotionally, every decision I make today is a step toward the future I envision.

The holiday season is a perfect reminder of the balance between reflection and anticipation. As I deck the halls and check items off my Christmas shopping list (thank you, $5 bill savings jar!), I’m also carving out time to reflect on what went well this year and what I want to improve.

So here’s to the holiday season and all the joy it brings. Here’s to good food, good company, and those quiet moments when you can step back and marvel at the beauty of it all. But most of all, here’s to dreaming big for 2025 and starting now to make it a reality.

The holidays may be in full swing, but my heart and mind are already looking forward—because the best is yet to come.

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