:::: MENU ::::

Posts tagged with: library lover

Time to Start Over


I had the most amazing opportunity this past weekend. I hid out in a dungeon. Me and my thoughts, my books and my laptop. I really did need a reset. And my best friend provided the space for me to do just that. It was wonderful! And I highly recommend it to everyone.

don't be afraid to start over

Not really a dungeon

Ok, it wasn’t really a dungeon. It is a room in her basement that has no windows. It’s cozy and dark down there. I would compare it to a soft version of a sensory deprivation chamber. Those freak me out a bit. But this was perfect.

No responsibilities. No sound. I arrived Friday late afternoon with a full back pack of thought provoking materials, journals, highlighters, and pens galore. And went directly into isolation.

Listening intently

I began my time with a plea to God to meet me here. To direct and guide me. And then I spent the next 48 hours diving in, sitting in my thoughts, studying and debating, and breathing. (Ok, I did take a break Saturday evening to enjoy a family meal with my friend, her family, Princess and Princess’ boyfriend.)

And I listened. I listened to my heart, to my head, to the guidance the books gave me, and prepared myself for whatever is to come next. I made lists upon lists. Lists of what I could do for work. Documented the life I want to build. Questions I need to consider.

It was so, so good.

Starting over again

In many ways, I am starting over again. Single again. Job change in the immediate future. Kids are all grown and mostly independent. I needed this time to breathe and focus on what I want. While I didn’t come away with the answers and clarity I had hoped for. I learned so much and have so much hope for the future to come.

Two things that have been made very clear to me over the last couple of months as I have dug into self care and reading like crazy:

  • We believe 100% of what we tell ourselves. And what we believe we achieve. I must do better at appreciating who I am, what I am capable of, and especially knowing my own worth.
  • Change does not mean failure or scarcity. It’s opportunity for growth, improvement, and more! “Every new beginning begins with an ending” (no idea who said that) – and this is my new beginning! I’m ready for it. It’s going to be the best chapter yet, I believe that.


Time for a reset?


I went this week and bailed Beauty out of the county jail. Cost $1,995 which she will be paying back. I just could not leave her there. Now we wait for a court date and see what the outcome of all this is. We are tentatively hopeful based on conversations with the investigator, but definitely not out of the woods.

She is moving back home as we await court and we are going to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I think Gymnast said it best when she got in the car from jail “Maybe this is God’s way of telling you that you need a reset.”

I am all about a reset for both her and myself!

Then a Car Wreck

Oh and then…Gymnast was run off the road and wrecked his car.

wrecked car

And to top it off, he received three tickets for the wreck. Holy cow!

There was a witness who told the police that the man behind him was driving aggressively, but that didn’t matter. Only my son received any citations.

It doesn’t look like the damage is too extensive. When he ran off the road, it was into an embankment; otherwise, it would have probably been fine. Thank goodness for insurance, but he will have to pay a $1,000 deductible. Thankfully, the insurance company did speak to the witness and marked it as a no fault accident.

We will have to see how court goes for the tickets.

Debt Payoff on Hold

Needless to say, debt payoff has been put on hold as I deal with all the “emergencies” going on in my life including the upcoming job loss.

I feel like I’ve circled back to several years ago when it seems like everything that could go wrong, did.

BUT I am not the same person. And I know something amazing is coming. I will not be deterred.

1 2 3 1,776