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Posts tagged with: fire

Paid in Flowers and Food and Quality Time

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The tides seem to be turning quickly. After over a year of seeking and struggling to find work, I have two part time jobs that I absolutely love and pay my bills. Then just this week multiple past clients have reached out for additional work…

  • Changes to their website
  • New Facebook ad campaigns
  • Taking over management of their social media
  • and so on…

And with no kids and no travel, I have nothing but time and focused energy. This is where I thrive. Being busy, varied tasks, and the freedom to do it when and where I want. As I write this, I am sitting at a fast food restaurant (the one I work for) enjoying a drink I brought from home and my free break meal.

There’s been no income yet from any of these side jobs, but that will come.

Friday Night Fun

This past Friday, Princess and I met halfway between her college and our home for dinner. She arrived with flowers and her W2’s in hand. After our amazing food, we moved to a bubble tea/coffee shop with free Wifi and I helped her get her taxes filed. This was her first year filing as an independent single person versus dependent, so she wanted my eyes on it before she completed it.

We have a wonderful time and she was thrilled to have filing her taxes off her plate as she goes into the final months of her junior year of college. And I was thrilled to get some quality time with her.

Sarcasm and Jokes

Now before everyone jumps down my throat, I did not charge Princess to do her taxes. The food and flowers were completely her call. A way of showing gratitude. I just thought the title was cute.

We are a family of sarcasm and jokes. If you could only see the constant back and forth between Gymnast and my sister where she is constantly hiding and scaring him or …so much. It’s a family affair. And it’s all in love!

As for my text to my boys, it was a joke. As a single mom, my boys have always taken on tasks around the house that I could not do or that they just loved doing. Them all being gone for a year has been hard, not just on my heart, but things have been left un-done. With them gone, if I had been able to, I would have hired some help. But that wasn’t an option.

Anyways, that was a joke and my boys actually were all grateful that I found someone to help me. Especially someone we all love having around. (And he’s in college, so the extra money helps him quite a bit.)  Gymnast did call him and thank him actually. It was really sweet.

As for why I didn’t include Princess in that text, you may recall, if you have been here for a while, that she is literally allergic to outside…literally everything. She does not and cannot do yardwork without ending up with some severe allergic reactions.

What Does ‘In Sickness and In Health’ Really Mean for Couples?

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When couples get married, and take on traditional vows, they are met with ‘in sickness and in health,’ which is often tested the most in a marriage. During the first three quarters of 2020, nearly 166,000 spouses of U.S. citizens obtained lawful permanent residency either as a new arrival or as the result of adjustments of status. For couples everywhere who plan to stay committed in a marriage, this has several meanings for their life and marriage as they move forward. Below are some of those meanings and how couples adjust their marriage when they are met with this vow up front.

Accommodating Their Spouse With Illnesses

The first thing that couples will refer to with this vow is one of them developing an illness that is hereditary or comes after a traumatic event. In these cases, the other spouse will step up and care for their sick spouse, ensuring they have everything they need medically. This could mean becoming a full-time caretaker or hiring nurses to come in and assist with this and not resent them for being sick when it’s out of their control. According to the World Health Organization, 3.5 billion people are affected by oral diseases, which could have some new accommodations on your lifestyle.

Remain A Constant Figure In Their Spouse’s Life

The partner who isn’t sick needs to remain a constant figure in the life of the spouse who may be suffering from poor health. In severe cases where this spouse may need to care around the clock, they may have to have them admitted to a nursing home to get the medical attention they need. Spouses who are committed to ‘in sickness and in health’ will be around to visit their spouses, take them out on day trips, and spend time with them regularly. What they won’t do is abandon them and only visit them periodically. The staff members should know who they are when they come in the door to the facility.

Be Ready To Take On Different Roles

Sometimes the illness that one of the spouses develops could cause them to go out of work. A national survey conducted by the Joint Editorial Board for Uniform Trust and Estate Acts found that a majority of respondents had difficulty obtaining acceptance of powers of attorney. 63% reported occasional difficulty and 17% reported frequent difficulty. If that spouse was the only income or the main income for the household, this means that the other spouse will have to make an adjustment and be ready to switch roles so that the family gets the money they need to survive, and the marriage can survive this battle. Some of these role reversals are only temporary while one is recovering, and some cases can be more permanent, depending on the illnesses or injury that was sustained.

Staying True To Your Vows

When couples make that commitment to each other, and they truly mean it, they work through the marriage to take care of their sick spouse and find new ways to adjust to the marriage. They mustn’t resent them, especially when these things happen and it isn’t their fault. No marriage is perfect, and they will all have their battles. Some will have several battles, and this could be a recurring theme, but knowing what that vow means to other couples could help you if you find yourself in that position with your marriage in the future.

If you’re feeling anxious or nervous about sticking it out for the long haul with your partner, it could be helpful to consider counseling. This can help you strengthen your communication and make sure you and your spouse are on the same page moving forward.  Best of luck as you navigate your relationship!