I’d like to thank you for offering me a loan when I needed it — *cough* — I mean, when I WANTED it.
While our relationship has been great and I have appreciated your monthly letters of good tidings, I’m afraid I have to end things. You see, I recently met with my tax man and he told me we’re getting back a small chunk of cash which means… all the money I’ve been saving can finally be used to rid myself of you.
I know you have lots of friends like me and you probably won’t miss me but I’m sure you’ll miss the nearly two years of interest I would still owe you if we continued to be friends.
Please don’t take this personally, your service has been exceptional. We’ve actually got along quite well the past few years but it’s not you… it’s me.
I wish you the best in your future endeavors… none of which will involve me.
All my love, but none of my cash,