by Claire
It has been almost 8 years since I had a newborn baby so maybe I have forgotten just how much stuff parents ask for and receive for the birth of a baby! I remember my two kids loving the “Exersaucer” and if there was one item I would insist on keeping…it would be that item. We used the same one for both kids and then gave it to my great nephew when he was born. Have any of you noticed how much stuff parents have these days for babies?! Is this unique to our culture? Do they do this in Europe? Asia? I really don’t know and haven’t cared to research it but as I look at life with an eye toward less stuff…the parents I see even just at the grocery store have a vehicle full of stuff just to get the baby in the store! Those grocery cart seat protector things were just getting popular when my youngest was in the grocery cart and I never got one b/c they looked entirely too difficult for me to use. Oh and are they still making those wipe warmer things?
And forget road trips….I DO remember not knowing what to take as a new parent so I took everything we had but with experience I figured it out. These days there’s just more stuff for the road trips too!
A quick estimate with a groovy calculator on Babycenter.com says the first year of baby will cost new parents $10,000 to $12,000. That’s childcare, diaper, food and miscellaneous items. I know many of you are expecting a baby or have a new baby and this truly is an awesome time—don’t read this as saying anything else. For those of you who haven’t yet started families…beware of the baby stuff syndrome! It can getcha when you least expect it!
The baby phase is so much fun in so many ways, but I am thankful this season is behind us! 🙂
This post has triggered thoughts for my next post…gift registries…
Born and raised in Texas. I’ve at least driven through every state in the US courtesy of a roadtrip loving Dad.
I’m single with two children and a good parenting relationship with their father.
I am a “life is just half full of funny” kinda gal. Humor is my saving grace and I am thankful for it every single day. I have a strong Catholic faith and am thankful for that foundation.
I read a lot for a living but still enjoy a good book. I love biographies but in recent years have found the need for fun fictional books–sadly, for a long time I just didn’t enjoy fiction!
I love live theatre of any kind–from local productions to Broadway.
I love to scrapbook and pride myself in my kids’ albums.
I love being a mom but also love my career. I’m blessed to have found a balance allowing me to be at everything my kids need and want me to be at–while also having a career.
Favorite Quotes: Well behaved women rarely make history.
Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out. -James Bryant Conant
No other cultures don’t buy half the stuff we buy here. I’m married to someone of a culture south of the border who. Ought me the book parenting inc. I recommend that book to any new parent. Since my oldest was born 3.5 years ago that book has relieved a lot of guilt I’m sure I’d have otherwise felt for not buying lots of stuff we didn’t really need.
If there’s one thing everyone falls for it and it’s a total waste of money – it’s the crib linens. Think about it. Quilt, pillow sham, bumperpad and sheet. Now read the package. “Remove the quilt and pillow whenever the baby is in the crib”. Now add the baby and 2 minutes later the sheet has spit up or worse on it and you’ve replaced it with a non-matching one. So really all you’re left with is the bumper pad. And to add insult to injury, there’s a 99% likelyhood you decorated the entire room around that linen set. Everything coordinated to go with a bumper pad which will disapear in 12 months when your little monkey figures out how to climb out of the crib. Well spent money don’t you think?
Instead, I decorated the room to suit a child up to ~3-4 and then bought a plain bumperpad and sheets to coordinate for as long as the crib was in the room. While decorating the room I bought the linens for a future single bed and stored them until the crib left. No redecorating or extra expenses required when the crib time was done.
Just my 2 cents worth!
ps. a good collapsing play pen is a great investment. It can be moved around the house and yard, and doubles as a crib when away from home. Long after they were done playing in it, ours served as a crib at their grandparents until they were 3 – it was large enough for them to almost stretch out diagonally in it and they thought it was fun to sleep in there. Sometimes we threw a sheet over the top so they could sleep in a “fort”.
A friend JUST sent out a message talking about her stress re: matching bedroom linen stuff for her twins to be more this summer! I am so stealing what you say here and sending it her way! What a great point!!!
Wow! Who knew in one year that’s what a baby’s estimated costs are? But I should expect that since diapers are like $15-$25 a pack, let alone the cost of formula if you don’t breast feed! I’d say if you do get a bunch of great stuff, always remember that baby gear goes great at garage sales! So borrow to your friends or sell those items to re-coup some of the money as your baby grows from infant to child in no time!
I look back at all the money we spent unnecessarily when we had babies and it makes me sick. The truth of the matter babies and little kids truly don’t need much to be healthy and happy. The best thing we can give them are relaxed happy parents not stressing about paying the bills. If I were doing it again (and I’m definitely not going to) I wouldn’t make a big deal out of Christmas and Birthdays until my kids were old enough to care. They really don’t need all the STUFF they need LOVE!
Great point Phaedra! I look back at that 1st birthday celebration and shake my head AT MYSELF! I DO have some great pictures in the kids’ scrapbooks but they are great pictures because the kids are smiling…and they were smiling NOT b/c of the fanfare of the party…but b/c a friend or family member was smiling at them! You don’t need decorations and other crap for that to happen!
First: BUMPER PADS ARE DANGEROUS–check this out.
Another grandmother friend and I are discussing this topic right now. She wonders if parents ever cuddle their babies anymore? There is so much holding and stowing and amusing apparatus for them!
My husband and I were graduate students and then junior lecturers in England when both our children were born and, believe me, we spent very little. Families provided husband’s old crib and playpen, sisters provided outgrown baby clothes. I used cloth diapers and breastfed. All of this, well, not milk, was re-cycled to the next baby coming.
Indeed the belief then was that babies cost almost nothing until they started adult food (no toddler jars nonsense) and started kindergarten. This is when they became noticeable in the budget.
As for the playpen–it was essential. In fact our toddler boy played in it with his blocks and cars while his frustrated sister crawled around the outside–longing to topple the blocks and twiddle the cars!
I should have mentioned child care–it didn’t cost a penny. The British baby clinic we went to, for weighing, general health check ups, etc., had a baby-sitting circle. You got hours of credit for helping others and could redeem them as needed. I did a lot of day-time sitting, my own children with me, and then got afternoon and evening hours in return. My daughter began one of these in Texas when her first child was born and it was a roaring success. It’s still going and her children are now 11 and 15.
This is GENIUS Chantal!
Baby gear…preface this by saying we have a 3.5 yr old, a 2 yr old and just brought home a very unexpected, unplanned baby we are adopting. I had gotten rid of EVERYTHING. No clothes, no car seat, no gear…and 3 weeks later, the only purchases we have made are a car seat(initially borrowed one from friend) and a stroller. You can make it on so little and most parents don’t realize that. We are stocked on diapers (gifts), formula (samples), and all the gear and clothes we will need for months by good old fashioned borrowing! Our friends that loaned us baby gear are in between kids — why not pass it around?
I have an 11 month old daughter. My oldest daughter was adopted at 9.5 months so although I have clothes out the yin yang for the youngest one, they don’t start until about 12 month size. So when I asked for gifts, I made sure to tell people that, I have NOTHING for newborns! A good friend gave me her hand me down baby bathtub, a rocker chair (the vibrating ones) and a bumbo. My parents still had a pack n play from the last grandchild. We bought a crib that can change into a toddler bed and then change again into a full bed. That was really what we spent our money on. A SIL gave a ton of hand me down clothes…and I hit yard sales and online forums hard for pieces I’m missing. There is no reason to spend more than 3-4$ for infant clothes. They just poop or vomit all over them anyway. Yes, they are super cute, but still. Most of the clothes I have for her now she outgrew before she outwore. You don’t HAVE to spend a fortune on having a baby. But I’ll be honest, it sure is easy and fun to do it. 🙂
It’s a lot about perspective. My son was born with severe disabilities and couldn’t play with any toys because he had so many disabilities. I treasured his beautiful linens and dressed him as beautiful as I could. There were rarely any toys to buy because he couldn’t sit up, stand, walk, use his hands and was cortically blind the first six months of his life. I’d go to Toys R Us and walk around for two hours trying to find “one” toy he could play with and that he would like. Later, I learned about the United Cerebral Palsy toy lending library. We were able to borrow toys for him to play with; we could never afford these toys since they cost $500 a toy! I also used Lekotek which was a toy lending library. So yes, kids don’t need much but it’s nice to be able to purchase something for your kids.
I think the thing that was actually the biggest waste of money for us was the bassinet. We used it for maybe 3 weeks before transfering our son to a crib, in his own room, where I would not wake up every time he moved. $150 for three weeks? Really? Then my mom told me she always used a laundry basket with a towel folded in the bottom of it. Its stable, its easy to disinfect, its useful when its outgrown. The one item that actually made me really go HUH? was the bottle sanitizer… whats wrong with a pot of boiling water (which was all the one I looked at was).
New mom here – hoy, don’t get me started! I bought (and registered for) few items – most of what I purchased was furniture, for nursing at work and maternity clothes. Research refutes the need for most items sold, like bottle sterilizers, wipes warmers (breeds bacteria), any linens except for sheets (particularly bumpers – SIDS). I’d put Babies Inc., in the realm of Weddings, Inc.
New mum here and we are so blessed that we took out the guilt factor before baby was born. We decided to get real about our debt before baby boy was born, so we focused on essentials. We have hardly spent anything as we were very fortunate from the lovely gifts from the baby shower, friends let us borrow entire wardrobes for baby (which on average I’m sure he only wore each item twice–max), Grandma loves shopping second hand–she finds many treasures some with tags still attached, we buy the big boxes of diapers only when they are on sale and with coupons and have a good stockpile of them, I BREASTFEED baby boy and this is a huge savings, I also make my own baby food—fresh veggies steamed or boiled and blended in the Magic Bullet and frozen in ice cube trays (his food costs us pennies a day!!). Also, any gift money we got when he was born was put into an account for him and when he took a huge growth spurt and needed a new carseat ASAP the money was there ready for his needs. We have decided getting our debt under controll is a better use of funds than buying every gadget out there. Happy and healthy is all we need and he always just wants to play with pots, pans, wooden spoons and Tupperware. So save your money and enjoy the baby days <3
Way to go Jenn! You can be so proud of yourself–love and common sense in equal measures AND your baby may well grow up much healthier. My two are fine, bouncing adults and I have two grandchildren ditto.
A bit off the track but for 3 years we had to home teach. When we were back to where schools were with in reach they both coasted for quite a while on what they already knew and my daughter still says she learned more science from the basic books put out for 3rd world schools with no commercial apparatus of any kind, but with make-do-and-construct gadgets and put together experiments than she did for years in school. there’s the same lesson here, isn’t there?