:::: MENU ::::

Derailed Plans


I was inspired by your feedback regarding moving out of state to make long term financial progress. My husband and I spent the last few weeks looking into it more seriously including housing, schools, etc… and that’s when things went sideways fast.

Housing was easy. Sure, we were going to have to look at houses to rent a bit differently from when there wasn’t a pandemic but it’s not a big deal.

Schools. Yes, we homeschool but our kids attend a hybrid program. This means they homeschool most days but some are spent in class with other kids. We love this program because it gives our kids access to sports, field trips, and extracurriculars. We love the flexibility and the fact that our kids get a bit of ‘normal school’ mixed in. When we were searching for similar schools in Texas, we found several we liked (they are becoming quite popular!). Every single one has cancelled classes and events for the fall. Thanks to the pandemic, we haven’t been seeing kids from school over the summer but we’ve been visiting my brother down the street and our kids play several times a week. It brings a little sense of normalcy to their lives. Moving to Texas would not only remove the kids from their school friends, it would remove them from family. Good luck trying to make new friends in a pandemic.

We are also really involved in our church. My husband and I have made some of our best friendships there over the ten years we’ve been going to our church. How on earth do you start fresh when you aren’t actually meeting in person?? Online ‘dating’ for couple friends??

I proposed taking the job under the caveat that I would work remotely from California for 6 months until the mess blew over but they need someone there in person at least part-time. I get it. But I want this move to be a success. I’ve lived in the same city for 40 years (minus the 4 I spent in Los Angeles for school). I’m going to need a lot of support. I’m going to need a community that isn’t via ZOOM. I need people. I need hugs.

I turned down the position. I get annoyed with people who continually say “the timing wasn’t right” but, we’re in the middle of a pandemic. I think I’m OK saying the timing isn’t right. There will be more jobs next year.

After working through the sadness of that decision, things got worse. We had to postpone our trip to South Dakota. My husband has all but shut down his construction business since he works nights and watches the kids during the day. He had three clients call him out of the blue ask him to do work this month. It’s several thousand dollars in labor. I’m willing to stay put a little longer for that. We moved the trip out 6 weeks.

No move to Texas. No trip to South Dakota. For now.

Excuse me while I turn on Netflix and cry into a box of chocolate for a few hours.


  • Reply jj |

    The upside is, you looked into it and you know more than you did before about moving. And your hubby is going to make some $$, which helps your overall household too. I can appreciate the sadness at having to push the trip back six weeks 🙁 🙁 🙁

  • Reply Cynthia |

    What a bummer. I didn’t really consider the pandemic issue, but it makes sense. It took me at least a full year of actively trying to make friends in our current community before things really clicked. We went to church, I volunteered at the kid’s school etc and it was still time consuming. So coming in during a pandemic could really be a big blow socially. At least you got to explore a new place and now you know you’re open to a change when the time is right.

So, what do you think ?