by Ashley
Hi friends! Happy Sunday! I thought I’d break from the mold and throw you a post today that I’d previously planned for Monday. This means you’ll only have 2 posts on Monday instead of 3, but I thought – hey, why not? Plus, it gives me more time to plan per your advice! Thanks in advance for all the helpful comments!!!
I need your advice!
I’ve mentioned that we decided (as a way to celebrate being credit card debt-free), that we’re going to drive up to Utah to visit my Dad for a long 4th of July weekend. I want to explain the financials of this trip….
First, my Dad has graciously said he would like to cover our gas money for the trip. We will also be staying with him for free. From past experiences, I know that he also pays for the majority of our outings, too. We may have a couple out-of-pocket food related expenses (certainly for our days traveling, but also while in Utah. For instance, I have a friend who moved to Utah for a work position and I’d like to meet her for lunch one day). Overall, though, this has the potential to be a relatively low-cost trip. Also – you may or may not remember, but I have built into my budget a low amount of monthly savings ($25/month) that I tag as “for travel and/or Christmas” expenses. My intention in making this savings (a sub account of my Capital One 360 savings account), was to use a portion of the money on gifts, and a portion on travel expenses to get back to Texas. Since setting up the account we’ve decided we’re not going back to Texas for Christmas, so I think I’m going to dip into the account to cover some of the expenses for this trip (not sure how much yet, as I am not sure what our out-of-pocket expenses will be yet).
Here’s the main conundrum…..getting from our home to my Dad’s home is about a 12-hour drive (each way). That’s 12 hours with only very short stops for gasoline and bathroom breaks. We have two toddlers. So, there’s that.
I am so conflicted. Last time we went to visit my Dad was a long time ago (before the girls were even walking). We did do the trip all in one day, but it was miserable. The way there was awful: lots of crying and fussing, lots of extra stops and breaks, and just not a pleasant experience. The way back was even worse. We decided to drive overnight so the girls would be sleeping the whole time and we could make fewer stops. Although we did manage to do the trip at a faster pace, it was brutal. I distinctly remember having a conversation along the lines of, “we’re too old for this sh—“ and “never again!” At the time, we had made the executive decision that 12 hours (that can easily turn into 14 hours with frequent stops) is too long to drive in one day with two toddlers and that the drive must be broken up into two days.
So now you see my problem. Breaking up the drive is problematic for many reasons, but all circle back around to one thing….finances. Stopping in the middle means we have to pay to stay in a hotel. It means more time on the road eating fast food (or day-old sandwiches), which costs more money. And, finally, it costs more in terms of missed work (for Chris, specifically. Thankfully I can still work on the road since my work is online).
What to do? What to do?
I do not want to spend the money (and additional time) staying in a hotel on our way to Utah. I want to just drive and get there. I just don’t know if it will be possible. It was so miserable last time that I’m scared. What if it’s even worse now that the girls are old enough to be walking? Will they want/need to stop every couple hours to get out and walk around? Will they rebel when being put back into the car seats? Will they throw absolute toddler meltdown tantrums extraordinaire that cause stress-induced (and noise-induced) migraines? I am scared.
Please, please – give me your advice and suggestions. Given that the trip is going to be so inexpensive otherwise, I don’t think it would break the bank to get a hotel, but it definitely presents problems time-wise (with Chris’ work). It is certainly my preference to make the drive in a single day.
Have you traveled long distances with toddlers? What has worked for you to keep them happy and entertained? What would you recommend?
Hi, I’m Ashley! Arizonan on paper, Texan at heart. Lover of running, blogging, and all things cheeeeese. Freshly 40, married mother of two, working in academia. Trying to finally (finally!) pay off that ridiculous 6-digit student loan debt!
We used to travel by car from Texas to Wisconsin quite a bit when our four kids were young. (Yes, infants and toddlers.) Of course, that was a lot farther than your trip, but we still did 14-hour days with one overnight in a motel. I would suggest that just push it in one day with frequent quick stops! Here’s why. I find that young kids sleep a lot while traveling anyway. Stop every few hours, (if they are awake) to let them stretch and run around.
I found that unpacking the car to get everyone into a motel was a major operation too! Sometimes it is easier to just drive. Could you start the trip really early in the AM (like 3?) while the girls are still sleeping so that you can get some hours under your belt? Back in my young mother days, motels were cheap but not so much today.
So true about unpacking being a major operation! I am also NOT envious of your Texas – Wisconsin drives! By the end of a single 14-hour day we are D.O.N.E. Cannot imagine two back-to-back!
Start the trip early and plan one lengthy stop along the way. I’m not sure what your route is, but see if there is a destination along the way that might have a kids activity of some sort. Children’s museum, a really fun park, something. Plan to spend at least an hour outside of the car here and then push the rest of the way through.
Of course you’ll need to plan shorter stops as well – I recommend doing some research on local schools or playgrounds in close proximity to the interstate route. It’ll help the toddlers burn off energy.
These are some great ideas! There is a big touristy thing right by the Grand Canyon (which happens to be about half-way). We like it anyway and would be perfect for a long stop.
When our children were younger we traveled long distances in the car like you are about to take. Sometimes rather than doing it in one day we would leave after my husband returned home from work and drive until about 11 or midnight. The kids fell asleep around 7-8 ish in the car and when we arrived at the designated motel we would just slip them into bed with almost no hassle. You know your children better than I so you would need to decide if this is something that can be done. Since we knew the route we would be taking we checked for clean/cheap hotels along the route and used our AAA discount. If you know your route you could check discount websites, etc if you don’t have AAA. We had cereal for breakfast and free coffee from the lobby. Most hotels now offer some kind of free breakfast so check this also. After a very early breakfast we would usually begin our drive again and arrive at our destination around noon. Your trip sounds like a wonderful opportunity and how nice of your Dad to provide you with some gas money and a place to stay. It is evident family is important to him and he recognizes your need at this time. Your road to financial independence and celebrating America’s independence is paved in love.
We’ve done the above scenario on drives of a similar length when we were pressed for time, as it’s nice to knock out 3 or 4 hours of driving the night before.
It looks like part of your challenge could be finding clean, reasonably priced hotels. I’ve done some driving through southern Utah and hotels during the holiday weekend can be in short supply. It can also be fairly significant distance between towns, so you’ll really have to plan ahead.
The drive should be gorgeous though!! Stunning scenery.
Yikes, I hadn’t even thought about the holiday-weekend aspect. IF we do an overnight it would be on Wednesday evening (then arrive at Dad’s on Thursday), because we already have a family BBQ planned on Friday (4th of July) morning. Given that its Wednesday night (instead of Thursday or Friday), I would hope there’d be places available but the rates could still be higher. I’ll have to see.
Your trip is totally do-able without stopping overnight….it is all about how you time the travel. Like Walnut said…you will need to plan in a longer rest stop, but you can do it.
Here is an example:
10am-12:30pm – Drive 2.5 hrs (make sure girls have clean diaper and snack before you go.)
12:30pm – 1:30pm – Lunch (potty, diapers, stretch)
1:30pm – 5:30pm – Drive 4 hrs (you are half way there!). Make sure you have a snack for girls…they will probably sleep part of this and when they get up they will want something)
5:30 – 7:00pm – Dinner and rest (get jammies on, run around and work off energy)
7pm – 1am – Drive (you may stop in there for Adult potty break).
Make sure Grandpa has everything ready for when you arrive so you can take the girls out and put them right into their sleeping quarters. You will be exhausted, so have a small bag with just your overnight things so you can go to bed and get the rest in the morning.
I love the timeline! Thanks, its so helpful to be able to visualize it this way! I think we’d prefer to shift the timing earlier (leave super early, arrive early), but I like to see it laid out like this.
I am not sure we were THAT young, but I remember we traveled to NYC for New Year’s. On our way back, we were exhausted, and all of us slept in our car front of a rest stop. That was 7 people in smaller Dodge Caravan. It worked out nicely. I think that for stopping with kids, you may wanna do the stops earlier than night time, so that they continue to be asleep during the dark AM hours. Good luck!
I would spend the money on a hotel. With a pool. Who wants to be miserable on vacation? My kids couldn’t do 12 hours, (age 6 and 3) heck I don’t know if I would want to do 12 hours (age 38). My kids get crappy sleep in cars and wake up angry. I wouldn’t put myself thru it if I was you especially if they haven’t enjoyed traveling in the past.
I would break it up into two days. Stay in a hotel that has free breakfast. Drurys offer free breakfast and dinner time food. You won’t enjoy the trip if you are miserable from traveling. Your dad is covering gas money and you aren’t making the trip at Christmas, I would use that money to pay for the hotel.
I have driven 10 hrs by myself with 4 and 7 year old. It’s hellish but the only way to see family so I did it, two summers in a row.
I say, bite the bullet, plan for playtime to stretch a bit, and have a bit of a ‘go with the flow’ attitude too.
Omg, Angela! I cannot even imagine doing it alone – you are a stronger woman than I!!!
I think you could try both ways.
Plan to stay at a hotel on the way there – make it fun! Get a hotel with a pool (try and get it more than half way so the second day of travel is shorter), find some fun stops along the way, ENJOY the experience and teach your girls how to travel….bring books on tape to listen to, silly music, some little toys wrapped in tissue paper that they can open during the boring stretches, take lots of photos, get out and run around every 2-3 hours, pack healthy snacks, find a great place for dinner (or grab a pizza and eat it in a park near the hotel)….make it all part of the joy of traveling!
Then on the way home I would just try and tough it out and drive straight thru. At this point you will all just want to get home…..so still have the books on tape, music, silly games/toys, and stop every few hours, but also know it’s going to be a long trip and mentally prepare yourself. Take turns driving, switch everyone’s seats every few stops, try and travel during nap and sleep times for the girls, and take the most direct route home with no extra side trips. And while it’s technically bribery, this is where a few toys from the dollar store (wrapped in tissue) and given out every 3 hours or so will pay off – so worth it to have the kids looking forward to the next “surprise”!
We’ve done this with our three kids and now they are all enthusiastic travelers. The best advice is for Mom and Dad to be excited about the trip – kids take their clues from us and if we have a good attitude they will too!
Genius on all counts! I love the idea of doing 2 days on the way there and 1 on the way back, and the surprise toys are brilliant!
I’ve always been fortunate that my husband works in IT for a large hotel chain, so we get rooms anywhere for usually $35-55. This presented a problem when our kids were little because they were AWFUL in hotel rooms! Getting them to sleep took hours. It was always so cheap and easy for us to get rooms that we would split our trips into small chunks, but then we would always swear that we would drive straight through next time. Of course next time we would justify the hotel by saying that the kids were older and would behave better at the hotel this time. Anyway, I guess I’m saying it can be a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. You never know which will work better until you just jump in and try it.
I would stop on the way there but drive straight thru on the way back. I would try to leave extra early on the way back, like 3 am, so the kids sleep for most of it. I also like the idea of dollar store gifts every few hours.
My husband and I live in New Jersey, but we grew up in Kentucky. We travel to Kentucky every other year for Christmas, and it is also a 12 hour drive (which we always drive straight through). I have to say toddlers are probably the best travel companions. When my kids were babies, there were lots of stops to console distressed little ones. And now that my kids are a little older, I have to hear the constant whining and complaining about being bored. Ages 2-4 were probably the best for our travels.
We always leave early (around 6am). We do have a DVD player in the van, which definitely helps. I also always buy them each a new travel toy to play with (I know you don’t want to spend extra money, but this was always a great distraction). Also, I bribed them to be quiet with lots of yummy snacks that we don’t normally eat (aka junk food).
Good luck!
Travelling with toddlers is unfortunately something I have a lot of experience with. My husband is from MI and I am a NC girl. The trip to visit his family is 14-16 hours on a good trip. Over New Years it took 22 hours one way! We have found that if we leave at 1-3 am, which means we head to bed with the kids at around 8pm,that we are able to get the first 4-6 hours in without stops. As other have commented, trying to get 2-3 little one out of the car and asleep in the hotel room is just as bad if not worse than the middle 3 hours of the trip. The suggestion of a hotel with a pool is great once the kids can all walk and if they both like the water but with toddlers it was actually more bother than fun. One of the tricks that we do is that we wrap Dollar store items up and let them open at each new state line or with the toddlers every 2 hours, set a timer so we all know when we can stop.
Good Luck and my best advice is budget for a room and if you find you don’t need it then you are safe!
I think doing it in one day is completely doable! We had to do it last year, and are doing it again this fall. Driving 12-14 hours straight, with a few stops. My son is 3, and we made it the 12 hour ride last time with only two 10 minute potty and gas stops. I packed a cooler with lunch, snacks, drinks, etc. To keep him entertained, I did “splurge” on a second hand portable DVD player for $25 and a set of kids headphones for $10. Worked like a charm. He loved having his “own TV”. I also brought along a lap tray that fit over the car seat so he could color and eat comfortably. Hopefully you figure out a timeline that works well and saves you the motel cost!
I’ve driven several times with young kids, too. From WA to MN, WA to TX, and TX to MN. And back all times. We bought portable DVD players so they could watch movies. And when my son was younger (10 months at the time), he still enjoyed watching things moving around. When we bought it, with 2 screens, it was a little over $100? If you can’t buy one, see if you could borrow one for the trip? One other thing that made a big difference on my latest trip to MN this past March was having tshirts hanging from the windows, or other things to block out the sunlight. My kids got too hot with the sun coming in, and I got tired of the complaining. so prepare to have something handy for that, as well. Good luck with your planning and your trip!
Ashley-
Doing it in one day is totally doable! I regularly make the drive from Washington, DC to Chicago,most recently as the only adult with my just-turned-four year old and my 15 month old. Tips that work for me are:
-I definitely agree with the others who said to either leave early, or plan to arrive late so the girls automatically get a few hours of sleep while you drive (besides nap times).
-When you do stop, make it count! Keep those kiddos physically moving the whole stop. Maybe one adult goes in to use the bathroom and change a diaper while the other stays outside running the second girl around, then reverse. Spend the stops chasing the girls around so they are burning energy!
-Consider letting the girls eat in the car after you stop. Then you are still covering ground while they eat (I spread an old sheet under the car seats taking up the whole back seat, then when I arrive at my location I can just pull that out and easily clean up the mess)!
-Have everything except the last minute items packed up the night before.
–Keep the girls favored snacks for later in the trip when they start to get restless.
-Consider breaking your “food rules” for the girls. For example, my kids usually only drink water, or milk with meals, juice is a very special occasion drink. I may pack 2-3 juice boxes per kid for the long drive (though I usually only use one each).
-Finally, don’t be afraid to get silly when the kids really seem to be melting down. Silly songs and even sillier sounds and faces can cheer them up even when they don’t want to. I find a combination of silly laughs to always do the trick!
Cheers,
Meghan
Also, if you are planning to stop one night, make it on the way back. I am always so excited when making the travel to Chicago that it seems to go by fairly fast. But going back to DC (when I don’t want to leave) makes the drive back seem to take soooo loooong!
Has anyone suggested air b’n’b yet?
I have heard so many good things about it, I just talked yesterday to a friend who used it travelling portugal with his wife and his little son, who’s about to turn 2.
I haven’t used it myself personally (I use Couchsurfing which is for free, but probably would be a lot more of a hazzle than air b’n’b)
Are you familiar with the concept? You’d be staying in a private home with a host. So it’s probably way cheaper than a hotel.
You look up the website and chose the city you’d like to stop in, enter the dates and you’re requirements and see what’s out there… you can check out reviews others have left for the host.
I’ve heard of it, but have never used it before. I’ll have to look into it more
Nah, scratch that. Just searched in the city we’d likely be staying and there was only 1 option at $199/night. The hotels I looked at were definitely cheaper. Thanks for the tip, though – could be handy for future travels!
That’s insane 🙂 It better come with a private jaccuzzi and a heli-pad then… yeah, it might be more useful for more densly populated areas.
you could also check if there are any hotel deals available on Groupon / living social.
That’s a great idea!
I travel to visit my parents via a ten hour drive a few times a year and take my son (now three). Thats ten hours with no breaks, so my drive takes twelve to fourteen hours. My suggestions:
Definitely give yourself time to not-hurry. I do the trip in one long day, however I try and build in lots of psychologically soothings things – eg I stop for half an hour at a lovely spot with a river where we can eat and relax and get ready for the last (tough) few hours. Also, I mostly drive during summer with daylight from 6am to 9pm, if it was in winter and i would have to drive in the dark I might take two days.
I found my son doesn’t need heaps of breaks because he is a quiet child who is happy to sit. You know your children. If they need to run, then get them out of the car to run their energy off as regularly as you need to.
Stop somewhere soothing but boring if you just need them to run then get back in. Take a ball or a frisbee if you need to encourage them to run. If there is a playground it’s harder to tear them away after just ten minutes. My road has rest stops for trucks and long distance drivers – usually a picnic table and maybe a toilet and not much else, but in the middle of nature so it’s soothing.
Keep special things specifically for sweetening the getting back into the car moment. EG an audio book (my son loves Thomas The Tank Engine), or a favourite CD or a lolly or whatever you need. “Time to hop back into the car so we can listen to your favourite songs!”
As for food if you take two days, I find shopping at the supermarket on the way isn’t too hard and its cheaper and feels better than takeaway. My son and I eat canned veggies a fair bit on our trips – peas or beans or corn or mushrooms.
I’ll leave advice for traveling with small children to those who have children, but I thought you might find this interesting for planning where to buy gas: http://www.gasbuddy.com/ . The site tracks gas prices at various stations by allowing users to report the prices at their local stations. If you get the app on your phone (it’s free) you can see what the prices are at stations that are nearby, and how fresh the prices are.
But, what’s really helpful for long trips is that the website has a trip planner – under Trip Cost Calculator. You enter in info about your car, you start and end points, and the website will calculate a travel route and estimated cost of gas. And it will suggest where to stop for gas. I found it pretty handy a few years ago when I drove to PA for a college graduation. I could zoom in along the route to see what gas prices were along the way, and doing so showed me that NY has expensive prices compared to PA!! So I knew to fill up BEFORE I entered NY and AFTER I left NY.
We just went from IL to FL with a 1 and 2 year old. The best thing I can tell you we did was borrow a portable DVD player and a movie they had never seen. This gave them something to do and usually lulled them to sleep. I also bought a couple cheap things from the dollar store and wrapped them up. When they got bored, crabby, I would give them to them to unwrap and then they had something new to play with for a while. Other than that we just made sure stops we re long enough for them to get out and run around.
Back in the day before seatbelts were common, we used to sleep in sleeping bags the night before a big travel day and our parents would load us up, sleeping bag and all, and put us in the car. We kept on sleeping for another hour or so when we then stopped for breakfast. You might be able to do that (by putting them in carseats obviously but keeping them in their jammies) if the car is all packed and the kids aren’t super early risers. At least get a little bit of extra time.
If you are driving between Tucson and Utah on US89, don’t forget that the detour is still in place from the road damage last year through Page or you go via Jacob Lake.
Oh man, you’ve gotta be kidding me! I was definitely planning to go through Page (and maybe stop there), so that certainly changes things. Argh! I cannot believe the damage hasn’t been repaired yet!! What the heck??
Good Lord – I just googled to find out more about the road closure and found this on the ADOT website, “The significant roadway damage forced the Arizona Department of Transportation to immediately close a 23-mile-long stretch of the highway (at mileposts 523-546) between the US 89A junction near Bitter Springs to the State Route 98 junction near Page.
Currently there is no timetable for reopening the highway; however, ADOT is working to rebuild the highway as soon as safely possible with construction anticipated to begin summer 2014.”
I’m shocked…NO TIMETABLE even? Construction hasn’t even begun yet? Yikes! Is this more due to the severity of the damage or to budget constraints from Arizona? Crazy!
That was supposed to say the AZDOT website http://azdot.gov/projects/north-central/us-89-landslide/overview
When my daughter was a toddler (really since birth), we have been road warriors. My husband was in the Army, so she and I traveled a ton to visit family. I completely disagree with everyone else’s timelines. I’ve found it best to travel through the night! Start around 7pm, give them some milk and let them sleep through the whole drive. They may wake up a few times, but with some milk and audiobooks (Paddington is awesome at their age!), they will probably go back to sleep. Share the driving with your husband so both of you get some sleep too!
If you must travel during the day, stop every 3 hours at a McDobald’s or Burger King with a play land and let them burn off energy. Good luck!
Stopping places with a play land is a good idea! We’ve tried driving through the night but it has been really tough for my husband and I. While he can sleep in the car, I am never able to sleep (at all….I get anxiety from the moving car and every little bump in the road makes me scared we’re about to get in a wreck). And I am really not up to pulling all-nighters anymore! I do agree, though, that it makes traveling much smoother (no stops for food, running, diaper changes, etc.).