by Hope
Note: This is what is happening, but I did also write this kind of tongue in cheek, ie reference to the apocalypse. While my dad would definitely qualify as a “prepper” – we as a family laugh and have a good time around the things he saves…in abundance. It’s just a side to caretaking and aging parents that I hadn’t considered.
My dad truly believes the apocalypse can be survived with enough plastic containers from fast food restaurants. “That may come in handy” is his most repeated motto, especially for takeout containers, juice jugs, and paper bags. And believe, I’ve learned to check with him before I dispose of almost everything. (He will correct me if he discovers it in the recycling bin or trash can. Kindly, but definitely corrected.)
After my first two months here, the cabinets were full, the countertops overflowing, and preparation and cooking space became a challenge. I had to start doing something about it.
My goal isn’t to erase my parent’s history or habits; it’s to keep the home they love livable and safe…and to stop the quiet money leaks clutter creates. And not have SO MUCH to dust and clean and organize…goodness! And thankfully, my siblings have been singing the same tune, but I am in a position to actually do something about it.
The Win-Win Framework
Together we established a number that we agreed to keep, creating one small, contained “Just-In-Case” prep zone while clearing the overflow that drives me and my siblings crazy. Now all his extra yogurt containers have their own cabinet. The take out containers are limited to one shelf in the cabinets.
Dad gets together with a group of men a couple of times a week for Bible study and breakfast; thus, the fast food containers
Working on it together set clear boundaries for me, so he is not as stressed that I will get rid of something he values.
My Non-Negotiables (Kind but Firm)
One shelf or a couple = the Prep Shelf. If it doesn’t fit, it doesn’t stay. Or he can select something else to get rid of. I’ve also been busy making sure I cook enough leftovers during our bi-weekly family meals so that my siblings can take some home with strict instructions not to bring the container back!
Walkways clear to 36″ so nobody trips carrying hot pans. After 3 months, Dad has finally approved some purging…some really old furniture is getting donated, rooms rearranged so we have more seating when everyone is here and more storage where we need it.
Countertops: two clear landing zones-by the stove and sink. This is crucial as I have to prep at least 4 meals a day between my mom’s food and then my dad and my meals.
The Big Three Offenders & What I Kept
Takeout containers: Keep 8 with matching lids in a single bin. All lidless/mismatched = out.
Plastic jugs: Keep 4 in the garage, not on the kitchen counter.
Yogurt containers: Kept 15 with lids; the rest to recycling.
Quick Money Wins (Why This Matters for Debt)
No more buying food-storage sets “because I can’t find lids.”
Pantry visibility = fewer expired duplicates. (Oh don’t get me started on the expired food battle. It literally took all this past year to finally get the pantry to just items that aren’t more than a year past expiration.) And now we are in a “don’t buy any meat” phase so I can cook through his 3 freezers full. This week I cooked skirt steak that had been in the freezer for over 3 years. Thankfully, he’s always dated things. But we are getting close to being at the end of the really old meat.
Fewer pests = fewer “surprise” finds hiding in dark corners of places that hadn’t been touched in years. My mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s 8 years ago and has been bed ridden for 3 years now so it’s really been my dad alone for a long time.
30-Minute Blitz
Pull just the containers. Match lids. Keep 8, recycle the rest.
Designate where these items live. He can find them and I have an easy place to put them
Create a weekly meal plan to make use of the stockpile of food specifically in the freezers. Yesterday we ate some frozen meals that expired 4 years ago. We are definitely testing the boundaries of expiration dates. So far, no food poisoning. And yes, I do consider that before trying things or just throwing them out.
Sentimental Safety Check
If a certain item triggers nostalgia, I snap a photo and write the story on the back of a recipe card. We keep the memory, not the mold. And before I get rid of anything I check with Dad, my siblings, and sometimes my kid so I am not relying solely on my perception of experience. This week I’m donating one of a matching set of chairs, a sheet set, and a variety of knick knacks that we believe mom picked up from thrift stores in her latter years of functionality and none of us have any memories of.
It’s a slow process from we are finding a lot. And dad is feeling seen and heard and supported.
What’s your family’s “JIC” (just-in-case) item in the kitchen-and how many do you really use in a week?
Hope is a resourceful and solutions-driven business manager who has spent nearly two decades helping clients streamline their operations and grow their businesses through project management, digital marketing, and tech expertise. Recently transitioning from her role as a single mom of five foster/adoptive children to an empty nester, Hope is navigating the emotional and practical challenges of redefining her life while maintaining her determination to regain financial control and eliminate debt.
Living in a cozy small town in northeast Georgia with her three dogs, Hope cherishes the serenity of the mountains over the bustle of the beach. Though her kids are now finding their footing in the world—pursuing education, careers, and independence—she remains deeply committed to supporting them in this next chapter, even as she faces the bittersweet tug of letting go.
Since joining the Blogging Away Debt community in 2015, Hope has candidly shared her journey of financial ups and downs. Now, with a renewed focus and a clear path ahead, she’s ready to tackle her finances with the same passion and perseverance that she’s brought to her life and career. Through her writing, she continues to inspire others to confront their own financial challenges and strive for a brighter future.
Hope, what you are describing sounds like hoarding behavior, especially the need to clear walkways and countertops. Is it being named as such, maybe among the siblings? Any progress or possibility of Dad talking with a professional for mental health support?
Maybe you just didn’t write about that part of it, but I feel a little weird reading this. The rhetoric might come across paternalistic on your end, like he’s just being naughty and you’re going to “do something about it.”
Not at all. We all tease and laugh about it. In fact, when he came back this morning from his meeting with no plastic container to put in the dishwasher, we both laughed.
It’s definitely not to the extent of the hoarding shows we see online.
My dad is definitely not being “naughty” – it’s more of an overwhelm with all the “stuff” he collects. So we are addressing it together. My siblings have done their best, but with me living here, I can really focus on it.
It’s just one of those things you don’t think of with aging parents or with caretaking. Between spoon feeding, cooking, changing diapers and bed sheets and all the laundry that comes with it, this is another aspect.
The houses you see on those shows are only the most extreme outlier cases of hoarding. Everything you are saying about the issue around this stuff is consistent with dealing with hoarding behavior: the overwhelm, the constant topic of collecting “stuff”, the accumulation, negotiating walkway width and designated countertops, and so on.
Hoarding is often the most immediately visible symptom of a serious, complex, and hidden internal struggle for a person. Are you sure the best approach here is to deny considering looking deeper and just talk about how you like to laugh and joke about it while exposing this issue in public? Laughing is sometimes just a surface cope. I again advocate for looking into mental health support for your Dad. You’re trying to be jokey and claim “it’s one of those things” but all I can see is a cry for help, and not the kind you can provide. You come off rather hubristic to me, sorry.
It’s really thoughtful of you to do this for him, and I hope he’s able to keep it up. That said, having so much stuff—especially empty plastic jugs and yogurt containers, which are meant to be recycled rather than stored—that it spills into the hallways does meet the definition of hoarding, even if it stems from caring for an ill spouse. I keep a few containers myself for crafts or leftovers, but not to the point where they take over multiple cupboards. For most people, hallways are clear or nearly clear, and needing to enforce a three-foot-wide path there shows how serious the clutter has become.
My dad just passed away, but his motto was “You don’t own your stuff, it owns you.” He was such a minimalist and I really appreciate that he didn’t leave us with a mess. My in-laws have the opposite approach and live on the opposite side of the country. When they go, it’s going to upend our lives for awhile, and I’m already angry about it. They laugh and say “well, that will be your problem” when we talk about purging some of their stuff (who needs a vhs tape of the final episode of MASH). It’s a lousy thing to leave a house filled with stuff to your kids.