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Do You Trust Your Spouse?

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Makingourway has posed a very good question, Do You Trust Your Spouse?

For my husband and I, we have a great deal of trust. I take care of all of the finances and he trusts me to pay the bills and make sure we have money. If we don’t have any, he knows that I will let him know. I trust him because I know for any purchase over $35 he will talk to me about it.

We actually combined our money a few years before we were married. He had a car payment to make and I had a checking account. Instead of getting a money order, he gave me cash to write a check for him. Before long, we just had his check direct deposited into my account. I wouldn’t advise pre-marriage joint accounts for everyone. In our case, it worked because we are still together.

Sometimes, though, I think he trusts me too much. I could easily hoard money for myself and he wouldn’t suspect a thing. He never looks at our financial file and he rarely even looks at his own paychecks (he hands them over to me still in the envelope). I have tried to get him involved in things but it just doesn’t interest him. One of my biggest concerns is his financial health if something happened to me. But it’s hard to show someone when they show no interest.

One thing I’ve thought about doing is making a little “manual” of how I do our finances. In it, I will list monthly recurring bills (e.g. phone, gas, cable) as well as all of our debt payments and when they are due. I will also list all accounts. In a separate document I will have all of the login information and account numbers. I think having something like that would help put my mind at ease a little.


Money, Marriage and Compromising

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My husband and I get along fairly well, except for one little thing. We often do not communicate clearly with each other. He knows that I am really trying to pay down debt (I take care of all of the finances), but I didn’t make it really clear to him how aggressive I was being. And when I say aggressive, I mean that I am often leaving only a few dollars in our checking account. That action is what led to using the credit card this past weekend.

We did get in a little bit of an argument because my husband does not understand how we can be making more money but still be broke. My reasoning is that I’d rather be broke for a little bit longer now and pay as much as possible to the credit cards. Once they are paid off – they will be money for other things. He would like to use some of the money now to have fun and purchase things we could not purchase before.

And that is where compromise comes in. We still haven’t finished discussing all of the details, but part of our resolution is that my husband is not going to quit his job at the moment. He is, however, switching his hours so he will have time to work on his business as well as have the same days off as me (which we haven’t had in ages). We are also going to use some of his earnings for “fun” things this summer.

Just like most things, a marriage can be a lot of work. But the compromise thing can help a lot 😉