For my husband and I, we have a great deal of trust. I take care of all of the finances and he trusts me to pay the bills and make sure we have money. If we don’t have any, he knows that I will let him know. I trust him because I know for any purchase over $35 he will talk to me about it.
We actually combined our money a few years before we were married. He had a car payment to make and I had a checking account. Instead of getting a money order, he gave me cash to write a check for him. Before long, we just had his check direct deposited into my account. I wouldn’t advise pre-marriage joint accounts for everyone. In our case, it worked because we are still together.
Sometimes, though, I think he trusts me too much. I could easily hoard money for myself and he wouldn’t suspect a thing. He never looks at our financial file and he rarely even looks at his own paychecks (he hands them over to me still in the envelope). I have tried to get him involved in things but it just doesn’t interest him. One of my biggest concerns is his financial health if something happened to me. But it’s hard to show someone when they show no interest.
One thing I’ve thought about doing is making a little “manual” of how I do our finances. In it, I will list monthly recurring bills (e.g. phone, gas, cable) as well as all of our debt payments and when they are due. I will also list all accounts. In a separate document I will have all of the login information and account numbers. I think having something like that would help put my mind at ease a little.