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Great Sorrow & Big Change for Me

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Last week, I said goodbye to Gymnast. He decided a month or so ago that he wanted to try living with his dad. I was heartbroken and shocked. But at 13 years old and after a tumultuous few years, I did not blame him.

His dad, my ex-husband came to town for a week and spent the time getting re-acquainted with his son. (He had only seen Princess and Gymnast for 72 hours over the last 4 years.) And the day after Halloween, they left for the big move to Illinois.

We agreed to a year trial, and after that we will revisit it and see how Gymnast is feeling (and me.) I am struggling with the emotions, but in my head, I know this is a good move for Gymnast and hope he is happy with his choice. Meaning, allowing him to make this choice on his own was a good move.

Financial Implications

There are some major financial implications to this move. And although they might be temporary, I am going to take advantage of them and the break of from raising a high maintenance child while it lasts.

Gymnast has by far been my most attention needing, financial needing child…between his activities and his personality, there is always some need. I am going to learn to take deep breathes. (Don’t get me wrong, I already miss him and his smile desperately, but after 7 years of gymnastics training and competing, this break is much needed.)

Growing teenage boys can eat you out of house and home, not to mention, they won’t stop growing! Gymnast went to Texas this summer and came back 2″ taller than me. And no stopping in sight. New clothes, more food, all the time. His dad will now get a taste of that. (It was funny listening to his dad’s plans. I warned him that he would be wasting money because Gymnast will grow out of all the clothes before he wears them all.)

I am going to continue paying for his phone service, and his dad is going to cover the transportation costs of sending him to visit every couple of months. My dad purchased a plane ticket for him to come to Texas for the Thanksgiving holiday which I am very grateful for.

This was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. To let my teenage son go. To let him choose a completely different life, over 800 miles away. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. But please join me in wishing him the best of luck and if you are praying person, please keep Gymnast in your prayers as this is a HUGE change for anyone.

 


Happy Birthday Twins!

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Today my twins turn 20 years old! 20!!! Please join me in wishing Sea Cadet (oldest by 20 minutes) and History Buff a very Happy Birthday!

History Buff and Sea Cadet

History Buff (L) and Sea Cadet (R)

Here are a few twin updates from years past:

I have had their birthday presents for a while. And I purchased some of their favorite foods during my last grocery run in September to cook their favorite meals in celebration (we typically go out for birthdays.) It’s a break in tradition, but we are all happy with the plan.

13th birthday party

The Twins 1st Birthday Party – Age 13

The twins had never had a birthday party before they moved in with us. And they showed up just two weeks before their 13th birthday!

I couldn’t let the opportunity pass to celebrate them. My girlfriend and I invited every teenager we knew from the neighborhood and a few other kids Princess and Gymnast age, and threw the party at the local recreation center. There was laser tag and cake. It was funny when I looked back at the pictures and saw a couple of kids that they are friends with to this day. Good friends, in fact!

It reminds me that hard times pass. The hard times now will pass. Because moving two teenage boys with no history, from such a different background was hard. But now…now, I can’t imagine my family without them. I am so proud to call them sons and still feel joy when they call me mom.

I’ve been blogging here at BAD for over half the time I’ve had the twins. And while I have been learning hard financial lessons, I have been working hard to make sure they are making wise ones know AND knowing why AND how they will affect the future.