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My Stomach was in Knots but it is Okay

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Written on Tuesday…

For the first time EVER in my life, I had to meet with someone and tell them I could not take care of my family.  I had to go to the same building that I visited so many times as a foster parent and later adoptive parent full of pride that I was doing something to give back, something good and right, and admit that I was a failure.  I had to look at a woman in the eye and in essence say “I’ve failed to prepare for this situation by not saving and by using my money un-wisely.”  It was the worst feeling EVER.

And what a lesson.  I hate this situation.  I hate that my decisions brought me here.  I cringe at admitting what a failure I am.  But if the last year and then have taught me anything, it’s that I AM going to do better.

In no way shape form or fashion am I making excuses, but the one thing that helped me get through this morning while I was turning in shot records, leases, bank statements to what turned out to a extremely compassionate worker was that this is temporary.  I will get another job.  I will choose more wisely where my career path takes me.  I will make better money choices, even better than the ones I have started to make.  And more importantly, I WILL give back.

I do not deserve the support my community has given me and yet people have reached out offering Thanksgiving meals, help with Christmas and just words of encouragement.  But I do know that when I am back on my feet, the first thing I am going to do is find someone who has entered a dark time and reach out to them as so many have to me.

I will find out in a few days if/what assistance we qualify for, and I’ve been told that I have 10 days after I get my first paycheck to report a change in status.  I continue to seek the next step in this transition.

(And just a side note: I just completed my first of two phone interviews scheduled for today…and the second interview is scheduled for Friday.  I am counting on God to steer me as I step out in faith to follow what He has for me next rather than what I would choose.  Use me, send me…that is my prayer.)


EF Refunding Update

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Hey everyone. I hope you are all having a great day.

On Friday, I gave a short update on where I stand on refunding my EF- I’m currently at $1,300 with my goal being over $2,000. There’s an item on the horizon that have me worried about keeping my EF any lower- I have a state inspection for my car on November 9th. After talking with the mechanic over the summer, he let me know that to pass inspection, I’m going to have to have a bunch of work done. In the range of $500-$1,000 of work. Depending on the cost, I’ll most likely just pull this money from my EF.

In the meantime, I did get a credit card to help me if an emergency arose. Thankfully, at this point, it hasn’t. I’ve owned credit cards in the past (those terrible mall store cards that give you 10-15% off when you sign up. Never used them but the one time. I’ve since cut the cards up, but the accounts are still open) but never a card with a sizable limit. Not only did I read many articles and see the ill effects of poor credit use for myself, but the cards I had in the past only had a limit of $100 and $150- not much in an emergency, hence why I never used them; they just weren’t worth the trouble. Anyway, I had a meeting with my bank a few weeks ago (the same meeting where the person inquired as to who Navient was), and since I could see and feel my EF dropping, I acquired about a card I could use to get me through any tough times while I built my EF back up. They sold me on the fact that the card is tied to my checking and savings accounts, which would make payments instantaneous, and I could pay off the card as soon as I bought something with it. I experimented by buying some gas to see if this were true, and it turns out that it takes a few days for the purchase to post. While it’s great my payments can be transferred from my accounts instantly, it doesn’t matter much when my purchases take a few days to appear. The card has a 1.75% cash back bonus, but I don’t intend on using it now or once my EF is back up.

This past week, I manged to seal the windows and doors I wanted to in hopes that this will help make the winter a little more bearable. I used the Duck Tape brand, which was fairly inexpensive.

I have 2 more weeks until I will begin paying down Sallie Mae 01- I can’t wait!


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