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Hard Conversations – Kid Version

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Gymnast and I had a tough conversation last week. I was at my lowest and saw no other way. I had to back out of my commitment of helping him out for 6 months after he moved out and ask him to begin taking on the bills I was paying at the now 3 month mark.

He wasn’t taken by surprise. I cried. I apologized. And I felt terrible in every way possible.

I couldn’t have asked for a better, more compassionate response. He said he understand, he wasn’t upset, and to give me a few days to process. That’s where we left it.

He was Listening

Several days later, I received several notices in a row. Gymnast sent me $1,800. And then called to ask if it was enough.

He covered the month of insurance (for all 4 of us on the policy,) his car payment, and his phone bill. I didn’t not anticipate that at all. And I was so grateful.

But more than that, I am so freaking proud! My son has been paying rent to my sister, his own groceries, his own gas, etc. And he has been saving to move into his own place. SAVING! My hard to raise, hard-headed, high maintenance son is doing it.

Going Forward

Now all this happened before I secured work to cover the bills for the rest of the year. And we did have a follow up conversation.

gymnast and his car

He is going to send $600 a month for the time being. This will cover his car payment and his phone bill with a little left over toward the insurance bill. And then we will re-evaluate in January, when he was supposed to take over his bills to adjust as needed.

At the same time, he is going to do some research on getting his own insurance, and I need to find out how this all will work if we don’t re-finance the car and it has to stay in my name.

Personal Note: From the comments, I get the impression that most people do not agree with my decision to help support my adult children. Especially when I’m under-employed. I recognize that making financial decisions with my heart has been the crux of my bad decisions over and over again. But I cannot change my desire and commitment to launch my kids with as little financial burden as possible. I guess that is my priority over debt. But as they finish school, I promise I am wholly committed to getting my own financial house in order.

 

 

And the tides begin to turn…

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As of yesterday morning, I have locked in enough work to cover the bills through the remainder of the year. No extra. But with the work I have contracted out, I will be able to cover all bills through my mortgage payment on the first of January.

Now it’s going to take a few weeks or even a month to get caught up with everything, especially since this is contract work so clients often delay in payment. But all the work is with existing or previous clients so I have complete faith that I will get paid in a relatively timely manner. Woot. Woot.

celebration fireworks

I.am.so.grateful!

What now?

This work buys me a couple of months of breathing room, but that’s it. While there will most likely be some ongoing work as a result, I don’t anticipate it will be much.

And this work still leaves me plenty of time to pick up another, at least part time job. I’m will continue to pursue a local in person job to pad things a bit more.

I have also been informed that I will most likely be able to pick up some more hours come the new year from my part time job during tax season. Things are looking up.

Pivot and Focus

Finally, I have been playing around with my now 17 year old consulting firm. It was put on the back burner a couple years ago when I went back into the corporate world. I REALLY wanted to stay in the corporate world, but after a solid year of applications, it’s just not looking like that’s the direction I’m to go.

So I’ve decided on a pivot to my service offerings and am relaunching in a big way. I’ve created some flyers, social campaigns, and beginning next week, I’m going to start pounding the pavement.

For the first time, in a LONG TIME, I am feeling hopeful. And once I get caught up…it will be time to zero in on my debt again. After I save at least $1,000 back in my EF!

Personal note: I greatly appreciate all of the BAD community’s feedback on my posts and decisions. Even when it’s rough, it helps keep me focused and honest. This is a very new phase of my life. And I am genuinely working to make decisions with my head versus my heart. It’s a hard habit to break, but I realize that in the long run, it will be for the best. Please keep pounding on me.