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Faking It Financially…

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I’m not the kind of girl that melts over fancy jewelry. Sure, I love my grandmother’s diamonds and my mother’s garnets, but that has nothing to do with the stones and everything to do with the fact that I love my grandmother and my mother and the jewelry reminds me of them. Even when I wasn’t dedicated to digging out of debt, I didn’t buy expensive jewelry.

Diamonds are the one thing you can fake. I can’t fake a house or a car, but I sure can wear a cubic zirconia ring that looks an awful lot like the real thing – and I do.

Of course, there is a problem…

The town near ours holds a street fair every Christmas. At this fair, one of the antiques dealers sells replica antique rings for $29. Over the years, I’ve acquired two rings from his booth. Without fail, whenever I wear the rings, someone compliments them and asks two questions…

1: Is it an antique?
2: Is it real?

Obviously, saying, ‘Nah, it’s a cheap knock-off I bought from a street gypsy who sold it to me in a tasteful paper sack held together by scotch tape’ isn’t the answer I want to give.

It’s bad enough I air my financial dirty laundry here, do I have to air the fact that I wear cheap knockoff jewelry to all who ask?

I know some of you are just as thrifty when it comes to jewelry and have stumbled across the same dilemma. What’s your best response?


25 Comments

  • Reply Amy |

    For one thing, I always thought it was rude for someone to ask if a piece is real. It’s like asking how much you make, and adults should really know better.

    My wedding rings (I have 3) are cubic zirconias. No one has yet to point blank ask me the question and I generally skirt the issue. If pressed, I’ll tell them but it’s really none of their business. Had we sprung for actual diamonds, I wouldn’t have 3 rings and I would be reminded of blood diamonds all day long. I don’t want that. I’d rather have the man-made stones that didn’t require anyone to die to get it in the setting.

  • Reply Susan |

    It is quite rude of someone to ask if a stone is real – HOWEVER, if, when they ask, “is it real” you can infer they are asking if it is a real ring, and not a hologram of a ring. Therefore you can honestly answer, “yes, it is”. 😉

  • Reply Adam |

    Yes, agreed, it’s rude of people to ask. But maybe you could take the blood diamonds route. My wife has a handmade hammered silver pearl wedding ring. So it’s quite obvious to everyone it’s not an expensive diamond. She loves it, but she tends to get around any issues by pointing out that she doesn’t really like the diamond industry.

  • Reply dcs |

    Or you could use the response my mother uses when someone does something rude – she looks them in the eye in all seriousness and calmly and without anger says “I beg your pardon?” which literally means “I’m sorry, I thought you just asked me an extremely rude question. Clearly I must have heard it wrong. Please forgive me.”

    Of course, many in her generation understood the real connotations of that response. I find most in mine and younger do not.

  • Reply Diane |

    Whether you like Suze Ormann or not, I love her new mantra that says “Stand in Your Truth.” Your truth is that you cannot afford expensive jewelery (and maybe wouldn’t even buy it if you could afford it), so why not just say you bought it from an antique dealer and you love it. If they keep on pressing to know if it’s real, tell the truth. I live in a neighborhood where everyone makes twice as much money as we do (we inherited half the house), so when my neighbor can’t understand why I don’t just hire someone to do this or that around the house or yard, I’ve learned not to pretend to be someone I’m not, and I just say, “We don’t have the money to do it.” There is no shame in that. We are who we are. Believe me, I know plenty of “rich” people around here who are not standing in their truth and are under great financial pressure from pretending to be someone they’re not. Our whole economy wouldn’t be in the shape it is now if more people hadn’t pretended to afford houses they couldn’t.

  • Reply Jenny |

    When someone asks if the ring is real tell them “nope, it’s just a figment of your imagination”.

  • Reply Lisbeth Tanz |

    While I love the “it’s not a hologram” response, I have to agree with Diane above. You could use some humor to say it certainly is a real ring, but an antique, nah. Just leave it at that. You owe no one an explanation. And I definitely agree that it’s rude of someone to ask, but instead of making them feel bad for having no social manners, you can simply answer them – truthfully with no apology. 🙂

  • Reply Marlena |

    I would say “It’s a replica, but isn’t it gorgeous!” that answers the question, but they are left to wonder if it’s still real stones or not. Then I would probably comment on some jewelry they were wearing and move along.
    Sad that you have to be prepared for rude people, huh.

  • Reply Alexandria |

    I’d personally just say it’s fake, and “Isn’t it Beautiful?” I guess I could just care less either way. I don’t really care if others think it’s real or fake. If I like it, is all that matters.

  • Reply Jean |

    Obviously these people don’t know you, or they wouldn’t be asking that question (which I agree is rude). Caron’s response is direct, but could come across as a little harsh (most rude people don’t get that they’re being rude, and are offended if someone appears to be rude to them). I like Marlena’s response, and directing the attention to a piece of their jewelry is always good, too.

  • Reply Lisa |

    Beks,
    I love your blog. Your life struggles often mirror my own and reading your blog really helps me to push off societal pressures to have everything now.
    I have a $40 tungsten wedding band. I am often asked if it is platinum or if I wished I had a diamond. Whenever anyone asks, I am always honest with them. I tell them that it is a just a $40 band and that I told my husband I would rather have a hot tub or ski passes or whatever luxury item that I would rather have then a silly expensive ring. That answer reminds me that I am not deprived; I have chosen different luxuries in life.

  • Reply Newlyweds Budget |

    Say it was a gift and you don’t know.

    Wow, what nosy people. Some people are so rude.

  • Reply Kim |

    People are so tacky. I saw a beautiful ring on a woman at the phone store today. I admired it and never once thought to ask her if it was real. Now I am wondering was it real? I just would never even think or ask that. Really does it matter? I just don’t envy jewelry. But I do envy trees. If someone has an unusual tree in their yard I want it! I have never asked if someone’s tree was real.

  • Reply jeff |

    My wife lost her first engagement ring. So I went to bids.com and bid on one and got it for $150. It was ok not exactly what I wanted to get her but she liked it. Later we decided to upgrade. We went to Kay’s. They would take trade ins. So we decided to trade that one in. Whatever it’s value they would give us half in store credit, but we had to spend just as much in cash to. The ring I paid $150 for gave us $2000 in in-store credit. We paid $1000 since we were better off at the time and had the cash. It was awesome. More than I would spend for anything else but a wedding set. Also I would tell them it’s not real and leave it at that.

  • Reply Karen |

    How about “Of course it is.” Anyone rude enough to ask doesn’t deserve a reply anyway. I have a beautiful cubic zircon engagement ring also. My husband insisted on buying a real diamond ring and it sits in my dresser drawer – I’m too afraid to wear it. What a terrible waste of money since I wear the CZ ring instead!

  • Reply Cindy |

    i do the same thing! rarely do i get people that ask me if it is real. and depending on the situation (like if i’m out on business for the business i own and it’s a customer i usually say no – don’t want them to think i’m robbing them blind so i can buy a $50K diamond ring) i’ve gotten to the point now where if i go on a call i usually just take it off.

    and if i didn’t want to answer then i’d ask back with a smile, “why do you ask?” of course my family knows my ring isn’t real….

    i had one lady give me a compliment on it one day about how pretty my ring was. i could tell she was envious so i got closer to her, whispered that it wasn’t real and told her where i got it.

    i was able to get a very nice ring from macy’s for <$400. i wanted real gold so at least it wouldn't tarnish.

    and usually when someone just compliments the ring i just say thanks!

  • Reply Joanne |

    I agree with Caron, direct and to the point.
    There’s too much time wasted worrying about
    the feelings of rude people. So ‘Does it matter’ is
    the perfect response, we need more Carons
    In the world 🙂

  • Reply C.M.C. |

    Just playing devil’s advocate here, but maybe she likes it so much she wants one for herself and wants to know if she’d be able to find one.

    Otherwise, she’s being rude.

    I would just say, “It’s one of a kind.” That should shut them up. 🙂

    C.M.C @ twentytwomonths.blogspot.com

  • Reply Renee |

    I personally would never ask anyone if their ring was real unless it was my sister or something like that. It’s just rude. But I’ve had co-workers ask me if my Coach purse was real and complete strangers asked me if someone slit my throat in regards to my thyroidectomy scar. It takes all kinds I suppose.

  • Reply emmi |

    I would answer “I don’t know. I inherited it.”

    Add some mystic to it too. If they don’t know you well enough to know you buy street jewelry, the added mystery won’t hurt. And you move the fib out of the realm of finances.

  • Reply ellen |

    I have several pieces of “street jewelry” and thrift store pieces. When someone asks about them I’ll just say “isn’t it pretty? I got it at the street fair/swap meet/flea market” and let them draw their own conclusions about its quality.

  • Reply Jody |

    If you don’t know them, I would look them squarely in the eyes and say “well, that’s rather rude, however, they were a gift (which technically they were from you to yourself), so it really doesn’t matter, does it?”. That way if they didn’t know they were being rude before, they certainly do now and will maybe think twice before doing it again.

So, what do you think ?