Blogging Away Debt

Some Big Changes on the Horizon for Hope’s Family

My grandmother made the comment that I have been keeping secrets this week. And while I don’t consider myself a secret keeper, I do value my privacy especially after the last couple of years of turmoil.

But there are a couple of big changes in the works around here that I thought I would take this time to share. Both could potentially have some serious implications, financial and otherwise.

So I’ll just dive right in…

Gymnastics Replaced by Football – Maybe?

Gymnast (yikes, does this mean I might have to change his blog name?) has been making noises about playing football since school started. I think it’s mostly the result of:

Seeing the team spirit around the school (he just started public school in January so this is the first time he’s been around this.)
The cut back in gym time from gymnastics and he has tons of extra energy.

I finally broke down and called the coach this week, and he agreed to evaluated Gymnast. That happened this past week.

Gymnast is working out with the football team all this week. He will have to make a decision about gymnastics and football at the end of the week.

football field

Thusfar, it has only cost me a pair of cleats ($67.) And from my conversation with the coach there is one more piece of equipment I will have to buy if he remains (a girdle.)

This is what I hoped for when I pulled him out of gymnastics. I wanted him to play a team sport, something through the school…but to be honest, football would not have been my choice. I’m excited and scared.

There will be financial implications, logistics implications and big life changes if he chooses football. I guess I may start seeing those next week depending on his choice. Yikes!

A Boyfriend or More?

I dove in the world of online dating last fall. I mostly thought I would have some fun, meet some people and maybe have some funny stories to write about for my personal blog. This has been a really lonely move for me, a hard move. Online dating was my remedy.

I quickly realized that I did not really like the whole online thing and within a month left the online sites. But there were several men that I stayed in touch with.

Fast forward nine months since our online meeting, and one of those men and I are now in a committed relationship. My first real committed relationship since my marriage ended 11+ years ago. He is moving to our town in two weeks. He wants to marry me.

My family has been informed about him and will meet him next month. (My ex has also been informed about him.) I do not know what the future holds, but again, a big change for us.

I’m not really ready to answer more questions, but if things get more serious, well, you know there is now another aspect to my life. But because like BAD readers, I know we are naturally curious here’s what I will tell you.

He has two grown children. He’s worked in construction and had planned this move, or at least a move to Georgia prior to meeting me. He’s moving here from Florida where he’s lived his whole life. He knows everything about me, the good, the bad, the highs and the lows. And I’ve never felt more understood and supported.

We’ve spent the bulk of the last 9 months writing several letters a week. Spent hours on the phone and video calls. I will meet him mom and some of his family when he moves up in a couple of weeks. And we are going to take it slow.

The kids know all about him and are comfortable with the thought of him and know our desires for a possible forever relationship. Gymnast is especially excited about a possible step-dad. But other than a special letter he wrote to them, talks on the phone and video chats, they have not met him in person.

Yikes, this was a bit hard to write. There’s no manual for single mom dating, or person in debt dating. I’m just kind of feeling my way. Any BAD readers been through this? Have any advice?

Move-In Costs

by Ashley

I’m writing this before my meeting with a lawyer, so I’m not sure whether any of this may change, but…..

The plan is for me to get keys for my new rental on 9/1. My move is scheduled for 9/2.

Move-in Costs Include:

$1245 – September rent
$150 – One time application processing fee from the Property Management company
$1495 – Security deposit

That’s already nearly $3,000 right off the bat.

I’ve reserved a 17″ U-Haul truck, 1 utility dolly, and 1/2 dozen furniture pads for $45, plus 99 cents per mile.

I’m also going to be hiring loading and unloading help. I received a quote for a 2-person crew, 2 hours of help for $125. That seems very reasonable to me. Hubs and I are also in an amicable situation right now. His mother was already planning to be in town over the weekend and is going to take the girls for a “Grandma Fun-Day” so they don’t have to be part of the potentially stressful and/or emotionally-charged move situation. Hubs has offered help in moving, so if the 2-person crew isn’t able to finish the job within 2-hours, I’m not going to be left high and dry, as hubs is willing to pitch in.

Luckily, August is a 3-paycheck month for me. 100% of my 3rd paycheck is going toward paying move-in costs. Unfortunately, my paycheck is for under $2500, and my costs are going to be closer to $3500 (after accounting for miscellaneous extra’s, like new shelf liners and whatever other small “stuff” pops up – not talking about furnishings/decor here). The way I’m planning to cover this is to pay the September rent out of my September income….essentially moving that expense from August to September (for accounting purposes). It’s a little bit robbing Peter to pay Paul, but it’s going to have to work. I do have the liquid cash available now (these expenses have to be paid PRIOR to receiving keys on 9/1), but for budgeting purposes will categorize rent as a September expense rather than an August one.

Once I’m settled into the new place, I’m looking forward to the stability and predictability of regular bills, regular income, etc. There will still be a bit of a transitionary period as I’m trying to buy key pieces of furniture. For instance, I mentioned the need for a washer/dryer (which I hope to buy used). I will also need a kitchen table, though the rental has a kitchen bar and we already have bar-stools so I’m planning to use that for the immediate time being. I mostly want to be mindful about slooooooowly getting new (or used, new-to-us) items rather than running out on a spending spree just to fill up space and make it feel more like “home.” Ultimately, home is wherever we are and that’s what matters most. <3