I read Cosmo.

Come on! I read finance stuff all the time and every once in a while, it’s nice to read garbage *cough*, I mean, light reading.

Anyway, for those of you crazy folks *cough*, I mean money savers, who shop on Black Friday, Cosmo has some tips on surviving the busiest shopping day of the year.

#1 – Go to Blackfriday.com. They have a listing of retailers you can sign up for e-mail notifications when their deals are posted. They also let you know what stores are running pre-Black Friday deals.

#2 – Go online early, add items to your cart, and press refresh when the sales start to see if your items went on sale.

#3 – Join your favorite retailer’s Facebook page or subscribe to their Twitter feed. Sometimes subscribers get early access to sales.

Or…

#4 – Don’t buy gifts this year and pay down debt.

OK, they didn’t write #4. But that’s the one I’m doing.

A few stores offering layaway this holiday season:

Sears, Kmart, TJ Maxx, Marshall’s, Best Buy, Toys ‘R’ Us and ELayaway

Check out this article and decide for yourself if layaway is right for you:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/09/12/earlyshow/living/money/main20104801.shtml

I don’t have to worry about layaway this year since hubby and I won’t be purchasing gifts but have any of you done layaway? How’d you like it?

At first, I denied it. There is NO WAY I spend $42 each month on food that goes bad before I have time to eat it. Then, I opened my fridge. I clean it out once a week but thanks to the time spent caring for a tiny infant, I haven’t had time to clean it in 3 weeks.

I stuck the poor little guy in his swing and set out to calculate how much food I wasted this month.

I tossed a few soft apples, a couple grapefruit, a few Tupperware’s of left over dinners, and a half head of lettuce. Not close to $42 but definitely hovering around $20. No biggie right? Except that’s not counting the craziness I threw away in my pantry last month.

I may be closer to that $42 than I thought.

What did Ziploc recommend? Freeze everything. For my leftovers, this is a great idea. I think I’ll try it out this month.

As for the fruit and pantry items, I’ll work on buying a little less.

How close are you to that $42 mark? And be honest! No cheating.

A big fat number reading – $324.

Cough. Ack!! $324?!?!?

Thinking my husband or I somehow went over the minutes or violated some sort of agreement, I searched the bill looking for answers.

Overages: none.

I waited a minute or two for my blood pressure to return to normal and called the cell phone company. Turns out, activation of new service requires you to pay the current month, one month in advance, activation fees, and taxes on everything. They did give me the amount I will be paying in future months and, yes, it will be lower than what I was paying but… a little warning about the first month would have been helpful.

I’ve got to sell a lung real quick.

Youch!!

My mortgage and Costco Wholesale.

I suffered an attack from both yesterday.

My mortgage cleared my account in the morning and even though I’m prepared, even though it’s budgeted, it’s always a little disheartening to feel rich one day and broke the next. It’s like watching a car full of cash leave my checking account each month.

For some reason, I thought yesterday might also be a good time to go to Costco. We ran out of paper towels and we would soon need napkins and toilet paper. This trip SHOULD have cost $45.

I tried to make a straight line down the center of the store, directly to the paper products (conveniently placed in the BACK) but found myself saying, ‘Peaches? OF COURSE I need a huge flat of peaches. Sure, it’s only hubby and me and we’ll have to eat 17 peaches each in the next 5 days, but I CAN’T live without them.’

It’s as if all logical thought and reasoning disappear at those roll-up doors.

I loaded the cart with apples, pre-cooked dinners, dog food, and paper products. My exit cost me…
$191.

I’m tricked into thinking I’m ‘saving money’ by purchasing toilet paper 92 rolls at a time but those rolls are typically accompanied by loads of items I don’t need.

It’s not as if anything I purchased will go to waste, but it will take 10 years for us to use it all. Fortunately, my husband worked a side job a few weekends ago and we had the cash, but that’s $191 that won’t be going into our emergency fund this month.

I think I’m going to have to break up with Costco.

THREE hours later, I slipped my final can into an organized row.

And for the part I am ashamed to admit…

I had to toss 6 trash bags of food. I easily wasted several hundred dollars of grocery budget by letting my food expire. As someone who worked in a grocery store, I guess I missed the lesson on first in, first out.

It’s not that I don’t know how it happened. I come home from work, exercise, tidy the house, and tiredly open the pantry doors to grab whatever food is in front. I simply lack the energy to move things around – especially in the last 9 months.

Off to Walmart I went to purchase $15 worth of plastic bins. Using plastic bins as drawers in my linen closet has helped to keep my shampoos, lotions, and body washes organized so I figured I’d give it a shot in the kitchen. Pulling out 10 individual cans to find one in the back? Not going to happen. Pulling out one clear plastic bin? Pretty darn easy.

Ugh. Why didn’t I think to do this years ago! I wouldn’t have to live with the guilt of all that wasted food!!

Or so I thought.

The water bill did drop a little, only about $20. Since our water bills are sent every two months, this wasn’t a full cycle for two of us, but it’s a pretty good indicator of what we’ll be paying next time.

The cable bill dropped more than $30. They took their cable box and DVR with them and I didn’t realize the monthly expense of the extra cable box. That’s what I get for writing checks and not reading bills!

The most shocking bill of all? Electric. Since we’ve had roommates from the day we moved into our home, we never knew what the total would be without them. The statement would always hover between $135 and $160 per month. This month? $78.

We don’t have roommates to cover half the bills BUT…

Overall, we aren’t that far from what we’ve been paying.

Who knew we were so ‘green’!!??!!

I felt like I had failed all my picket fence dreams.

Several of my friends are having babies and they share their stories of shopping for furniture at pricey stores and picking out themes. Meanwhile, my ‘theme’ is – buy study wood furniture that matches… sort of. Don’t get me wrong, it will look great and I’ll spend 90% less than my friends, but I couldn’t help but feel a little ashamed that I spend my weekends at garage sales and traipsing through people’s homes asking for deals.

Yesterday morning, the head of HR stopped to chat. He and his wife are expecting their third… and ‘very, very, unexpectedly, accidental’ child. They have to start over on purchasing baby goods and he mentioned the ‘killer deal’ he got on a crib from Craigslist.

I choked on my caffeine-free tea. ‘What?!?’ I gasped, trying to take a breath.

Keep in mind, this guy makes well over 100K a year.

“Yeah, it’s great. Why should I take the hit on retail? Let some other sucker pay it” he said with a huge grin. He saw the shock register on my face, grabbed my arm, and said, “Oh my gosh Rebekah. Please don’t tell me you bought something new right? It’s such a rip off!” he said.

“No. The room is furnished thanks to Craigslist and garage sales” I said.

“Thank goodness! I knew you were smarter than that” and he continued to chat away.

Do you even know what a relief it was to hear that – especially from someone who can afford nice things? I was flying high finally thinking I hadn’t failed, I’d simply been smart about my finances… for once.

All the furniture is paid for with cash. I guess I do have a theme…

Financial Responsibility.

On my first night out, at a restaurant chosen by my coworkers, I could have ordered the filet mignon.

Totally covered in my per diem rate? Yes.

Something I love and haven’t had much of… OK, OK, haven’t had any of for as long as I can remember? Yup.

Something I didn’t order because I couldn’t wrap my silly little brain around the concept of spending nearly $40 on instead of the$12 veggie plate?

Yes.

The veggie plate was fabulous by the way.

In the whole scheme of things, our company is HUGE and very few employees are paid to travel. Will my week of penny pinching someone else’s dollar make a difference? Not in the very least.

Admittedly, I should have loosened up and ordered something I REALLY, REALLY wanted at least one of those days but I guess my frugality isn’t as easy to ditch as I thought.

My overactive dog likes running. He does NOT like walking. To prove it, he pulls relentlessly at his leash to show his annoyance that I’m now moving at the speed of a sea turtle. I let him get away with his antics for a few days until my sore hands could take it no more. I tried ‘delicately’ tugging back, stopping when he pulled, and outright begging him to stop but nothing helped.

I went to the pet store and purchased a $17 collar that promised to stop all tugging. I did exactly as instructed in the directions. I let him sniff it, gave him treats, let him wear it with no leash, gave him treats, put on a leash with no pressure, gave him treats, and grabbed the leash ready for a good pain free walk.

Given the fact that the $17 came out of our grocery budget and we’d be eating ramen for 2 days, I had fairly high expectations.

Ha.

He planted all four paws firmly on the concrete, completely unwilling to move. ‘Oh. So mature Hutch!’ I yell. I dragged him about 3 feet or so until he suddenly started walking. ‘ I win!’ I thought… until I looked back in time to see him throw himself on the neighbor’s lawn, roll over onto his back, and whine loudly as if I had kicked him.

The neighbor, of course, picks this opportune time to walk outside and wave hello. ‘Congrats on the baby’ he says over my howling dog, who now has his paw caught in his collar. ‘Thanks!’ I say, trying to ignore the fact that my dog is giving a better death act than most Oscar winners. I pause. ‘Um. I promise I’ll be a better parent than pet owner’ I say loudly as my dog walked over to my neighbor’s feet to throw himself at them… still howling. ‘Uh huh’ the neighbor says doubtfully.

I quickly pick up my wayward dog, STILL howling, and walk down the street before suffering further embarrassment.

It was a slow hour long process with lots of whining – mostly mine – but I think we finally figured out how to walk in peace.

Now, off to figure out how to make my husband not throw a similar tantrum in the neighbor’s yard when he hears we’re having Ramen for two days.

SERVERS.

*gasp!*

I guess someone is tired of the fact that only food places we visit (and even then, we rarely go out) ask if we would like our order supersized.

Off we went to participate in ‘motivating’ the economy. I was ecstatic.

Thirty dollars later, I sat with fully content at the table after thoroughly enjoying warm bread, caesar salad, filet mignon, and crème brulee with fresh strawberries.

I crawled into bed thinking… ‘Best Christmas gift ever!!’ Three and a half hours later… I was thinking, ‘WORST Christmas gift ever!!’ as I suffered the nastiest bout of food poisoning I have ever had.

I don’t believe in karma but at 1 AM, when brain function is a little on the fuzzy side, I start to think that karma has taken vengeance on me for my frivolous spending. By 3 AM, I demand karma stop being mean because I’d really like to part ways with the porcelain god.

I finally struggled back into bed around 3:30 and angrily pounded at my alarm when it started beeping loudly just over an hour later. I skipped a shower, threw on clothes that didn’t match, and dragged my sick body into work, the whole time feeling guilty about my spending.

My boss walks in and does a double take. I start to explain about my shambled appearance when he interrupts, ‘Didn’t you get food poisoning?’

‘Huh?’ I ask.

‘Everyone we sent offsite for training got food poisoning from the free chicken burritos. They all called in sick.’

HAH! Take that karma!! It wasn’t my $30 dinner! It was my love of free food!! Well… free anything for that matter.

Ugh. I’m going to bed for the weekend. At least the guilt from spending is gone.

DON’T SPEND IT ON DEBT.

Hmm. I guess I’m a smidge predictable.

I went to the mall to pick out a new pair of tan work slacks. Mine are currently being held together by a hair tie and a safety pin. No, I’m not joking and yes, my shirt always covers it. Geez, I’m not THAT unprofessional.

I went to Fashion Valley mall here in San Diego. It’s a distance from my house but I made the trek because the place is huge and it has a good mix of cheap and expensive stores. That way, when I started to feel silly about shopping at Forever 21 at 30 years old, I could escape to H & M. Then, after discovering that both those stores make clothing that only lasts one wash cycle, hence the safety pin/hair tie situation, I’d end up at Nordstrom.

Sigh.

I had blow money burning a hole in my wallet. Money with no specific need. Money to spend on whatever I wanted…

And all I found was a $9 clearance sweater…

Long enough to cover the safety pin and hair tie.

At this rate, I’ll have the money spent by 2014.

Doesn’t make sense? If there is one thing I understand clearly, it’s that college finance departments make absolutely no sense.

Every year, we request a delay of payment until he receives his financial aid check and every year they turn us down. Then, two months after we pay tuition, the school sends us a reimbursement check for nearly the full amount we paid.

In the past, this hasn’t been a problem. We put the tuition on the credit card and paid it off when his financial aid reimbursement check arrived. Silly me got so ticked off at my credit card a few months ago, I cut it up – shredding my emergency parachute in the process.

So now we’re left in a scramble trying to dig up $3,000. Why weren’t we prepared? I completely and stupidly forgot.

If I empty our spare cash and juggle some payments, I can do $1,900.

I’m looking for stuff to sell. Hubby better watch out. His tools are looking mighty nice about now.

I did spend…

$23.

Turns out, spending money on Christmas gifts for the first time in two years isn’t as easy as I thought it would be.

Given, it is hard to get into the Christmas spirit while shopping in a tank top and shorts.

Dear San Diego,

In case you missed it, we are in the month of DECEMBER, not July. Please adjust to more appropriate temperatures. Ninety degrees doesn’t exactly scream winter wonderland.

Oh well, there will always be next year.

I’m Christmas shopping this year.

We took a two year hiatus and as silly as it sounds, one of my favorite parts of Christmas is time spent wandering around the outdoor mall on a Saturday night looking for a sweater or a warm pair of socks for my husband. I love the smell of the giant decorated trees. I love the carolers singing in their early 1900’s garb. I love it all.

We aren’t going overboard. We aren’t buying gifts for his second cousin twice removed or my great aunt on my dad’s cousin’s side. But there will be a gift under the tree with a fat name tag that says ‘CHRIS’.

Dave Ramsey will simply have to forgive me.

Are you celebrating this year? Or am I by myself on this?

Five years of no break-downs.

Five years of easy flying.

Now, my car is acting like a rebellious child.

Brakes. Gone.

$280. Gone.

Thankfully, my husband’s new pay raise will cover it so our debt payment for December should be normal. Plus, we’ve both been working side jobs so we may actually make a dent this month. Whew!

Oh no. I think I just jinxed it.

When we returned home from our trip, my car refused to start. My 5 year old battery has been hanging on for far too long and finally decided to quit. My husband replaced the battery over the weekend and the troubles worsened. The car, an automatic, started stalling. Stalling, stopping, and restarting is always super fun in the dark at 5:00 a.m. when you are a female driving alone.

Catching my sarcasm?

Now, let me back up here a sec to tell you a little history about me. In college, I drove everywhere fast – and I had a shoe box of speeding tickets to prove it. I owned a modified Honda Civic and frequently participated in late night street races while living in Los Angeles. I ‘may’ have also been involved in high speed police pursuit.

Before you write a bunch of angry comments about how stupid/dangerous speeding/racing is, let me save you some time. First, I drove like that nearly TEN years ago. Second, at this point in my life, I realize how stupid/dangerous it is. Third, the aforementioned information made my current situation funny…at least to my husband.

My husband took my car to the mechanic to have it repaired. He, who knew me in my racing days, couldn’t stop laughing when he told me what was wrong with the car. Apparently there is an air flap on, near, around, or somewhere in the vicinity of your carburetor (have mercy, I don’t know a thing about cars). If you drive a good portion of your commute under 35mph and don’t accelerate quickly, the darn thing gums up and stops your vehicle. THIS, is what went wrong with my car.

The mechanic specifically told my husband, ‘Tell your wife to stop driving like an old lady.’

The teasing from my husband will never cease.

The only redeeming factor? The mechanic didn’t charge us to clean the flap and my car now drives perfectly.

Here’s the funny part…

I attended community college prior to moving on to a private university.

Obviously I’m not the expert but let me tell you why I absolutely agree with Zac (obviously not all community colleges are the same as ours):

1. Our state college and our community college shared more than half of the same instructors – who taught the same classes at both. The difference? I paid $60 while my state friends paid $580.

2. The class sizes were significantly smaller at the community college vs. the state college. All of my teachers knew my name.

3. San Diego State University, our local state college, is notorious for its impossible acceptance standards. BUT, if you attend the local community college for two years, you are guaranteed a spot. While your perfect GPA valedictorian student can’t get in, my average GPA husband is registering for classes.

4. According to Bissonnette, students who transfer from community college to a four year university are more likely to graduate than those who started in university their freshman year.

5. Best of all, my student loans amounted to $15,000 instead of $30,000 and my diploma from my private university looks exactly the same as someone who attended all four years. There isn’t an asterisk on my diploma saying, ‘We only vouch for half her education.’

That’s just my experience… what’s yours?

Today:

Ireland

I had long since gone to bed – he stopped appreciating my ‘help’ on plumbing projects years ago – when he crawled in sometime after 1am. He rubbed my arm, told me the water heater wasn’t fixable, and fell asleep.

Telling me I have to dive into my already nearly depleted emergency fund (more on that later) at bedtime is the equivalent to telling a 7 year old there are monsters under the bed – but worse.

I didn’t sleep a wink.

This week should be interesting… Will this be the first time we have more month than money?

First we had the damage done by our house sitter (update on that later), now we have a fickle water heater.

Our water heater has started leaking an excessive amount of water. If I lived in Kansas, perhaps leaking water wouldn’t be a problem – but I live in California. Forget oil, water is our liquid gold.

My plumber husband has been out in the garage for the last hour and a half trying to save our 5 year old water heater. All I keep hearing is, ‘I’ll get six more years out of you if it kills me!!’

I stay quiet and make a waterless dinner while he slams tools and torches the pipes. Halfway through cooking, he opened the garage door into the kitchen and shouted, ‘It’s a lot more fun to do this while you are getting PAID for it!’ then disappeared again.

We are $75 in the hole so far but I all I can think is…

Thank God I married a plumber – albeit a temporarily grouchy plumber.

We were planning to pay my husband’s brother to housesit while we were gone in Italy. He’s responsible and trustworthy and I couldn’t think of a better person to trust with my dear pups. My sister-in-law asked if her sister could housesit because she really wanted a break from her parents.

That should have tipped me off.

Did I mention she’s 19?

Anyway, we arrived home yesterday and our house had a pretty nasty scent. I assumed it was because it was closed and locked tight and that ‘scent’ was simply stale air. We noticed our back window was broken out but I hoped she had a good story as to why it was broken.

The next morning, I woke up and really saw the state our house was in through clear, non-27 hour flight, eyes.

The curtains covering our back sliding glass door were soaked in urine. The urine stains were so bad, we had to throw the curtains away. It had long since dried but the flooring was curled from what had been the area the dogs had relieved themselves in.

Near the front door, the recliner stunk of urine. Obviously the dogs had used this area regularly as well – the floor is destroyed and warping upward.

Near the entertainment unit, the wood flooring is warped and permanently destroyed from standing dog urine.

I sat on the couch and cried… then smelled the couch…….

The dogs urinated so frequently on the couch it stained the back and the seat.

Frustrated and crying, I cleaned the warped floors the best I could and emptied the trash. I opened the door to our California room off the rear of the house and was almost knocked over from the smell. Dog pee and vomit covered the floor. I opened the trash and empty beer bottles and plastic cups nearly filled it. Despite our strict requirement to have no parties, she had one (she fessed up when we called her on it).

My husband and I spent five hours cleaning our house and it still reeks of dog urine. Our dogs haven’t peed in our house since we potty trained years ago but as of now, it looks like they spent two solid weeks locked indoors peeing. We have spent nearly $100 on cleansers that mask urine smells and have to spend another $55 replacing the curtains. We have to custom order the glass for the window (she said my 15 pound dogs broke a window 4 feet off the ground – I say yeah right, sounds more like a drinking game accident) and can’t get a quote less than $100. I haven’t even looked at how much it will cost to replace the flooring near the front door, the rear door, or near the tv because I KNOW I can’t afford it. I drenched the couches in cleanser but have had no luck in making them smell better.

After all this, my brother insists I still pay her.

My mother thinks I should pay her… then send a bill for several hundred dollars in damages.

I don’t want to pay her since she left the dogs left in the house and didn’t care for them but at the same time, I don’t want to start world war III with my brother’s in-laws.

What would you do?

We are borrowing a nice still camera for the Italy trip but we don’t have a video camera.

I find it funny that, as a person with a bachelor’s degree in Motion Picture Production, I don’t own a video camera. I used to own one while in college but since I graduated college nearly a decade ago (scary to say), the nice video camera I owned at the time has long since died.

My husband has been working side jobs every night and weekend and agreed to set aside a small portion of the money for an inexpensive video camera. So, $129 later on Amazon, we purchased a flip camcorder for our trip…

Ordering it online felt like having a nice piece of cake after a long diet.

My husband and I are trying to adjust our sleeping habits as best we can so I’m up at 3am making cinnamon rolls while squeezing in sets of jumping jacks to keep me awake. We’ll see if this works out.

I can’t tell you how WEIRD it is to not pack my trusty Bank of America credit card (long since shredded) to accompany me! We are funding this trip totally by CASH. When I come home, I won’t be dreading seeing my mailman! Yay!

So what are the final numbers for the trip?

Two and a half weeks, two countries, two multi-day tours, airfare, and hotel came out to…$1,800 per person. It’s not my best work but the darn open jaw airfare messed up the budget!

I will try my best to post along the way, my brother is taking his iPad, but don’t rely on it. I’ve scheduled posts to appear while I’m gone but if something terrible happens – like a nuclear war, a catastrophic natural disaster, or they renew America’s Got Talent for another season – and I’m posting about making cookies and eating bon bons, give me until I get home to respond.

See you at the end of October!

Buy a plane ticket, book a hotel, see the sights.

Oh if life were so easy…

You have to hire a housesitter/petsitter, put mail delivery on hold, get your international driver’s license, call the cellphone company for a loaner global phone, buy a winter jacket from Goodwill (hello – we don’t have ‘winter’ here in So. Cal – well… not the same winter Ireland has anyway), arrange airport transportation, find someone to start our cars once a week, and call the bank to let them know we’ll be out of the country… and that’s just what I had to do today.

I thought taking on the planning of this trip wouldn’t be overwhelming.

Ha!

Working two jobs and singlehandedly planning an international trip for the family is turning out to be quite the stress inducer.

I gave everyone a list of things they had to do before we leave including call the credit/debit card companies to notify them about our trip. My brother said, ‘What’s their number?’ as if somehow all banks shared the same phone.

I’m not taking a head count at every stop. If we come back with a few less people…um… I promise to contact the police immediately…after a nice long nap.

No. I REALLY hate shopping. I hate grocery shopping, I hate clothes shopping, I hate gift shopping, and most of all, I hate malls. Getting me to clothes shop voluntarily is nearly impossible (unless doing an experiment for a blog post at Goodwill).

Last week, as I pulled on my favorite pair of 10 year old jeans, my husband mentioned that now might be a good time to buy another pair before we leave on our trip.

Confused, I looked down at my jeans and asked, “Why?”

“Honey, I don’t mind the holes in your jeans, but I’m not sure foreigners will feel the same… especially when the holes are over your butt.”

I quickly turned around and gasped as I saw the ¼” holes above the pockets. Who knew how long my derriere had been playing peek-a-boo with the outside world.

I threw on a sundress and angrily drove to hell… cough… I mean, the mall.

68 minutes, 5 stores, and 3 clothing assistants later, I purchased two pairs of $19 jeans from the sale rack and happily made my way out to my car.

I started to feel guilty about spending $40 on jeans until I started to do the math on my current decomposing jeans at home. I bought those jeans for $9.99 on sale from Macy’s my freshman year in college. I wore them nearly every day until two years ago when I got my office job. Even if I wore the jeans every fourth day, a low estimate, I wore them 912 times.

That’s about 1 cent per use.

Maybe I shouldn’t feel bad about the $40.

$1781.00

I lost my breath.

But hey, according to the paperwork, if I make minimum payments…I can be paid off in 13 years. It annoys me that this credit card company hopes my debt may outlive my dog.

As I stared at the bill, I was annoyed with myself. Dave Ramsey encourages people to live outside the box rather than have a natural reaction to accrue more debt.

I didn’t think outside the box. I threw in the towel – and quickly at that.

The fact is, there will ALWAYS be a reason to jump back into debt. Car repairs, hospital bills, home repairs… VET BILLS.

I know it’s only a two month hiccup but I can’t help but wonder if I had offered to scrub dog poop, would have let me?

I’m working on changing the way I think. I’m slow – but I’m getting there.

What I really wonder is…

What is the strangest way you have paid a bill?

Have you cleaned your dentist’s home? Have you cooked for your mechanic? Have you babysat for your plumber?

My husband installed an exhaust fan for a 6 pack of beer so trust me – I know you folks are out there.

Here is a warning – you may not like my answer.

Let me explain…

I didn’t have a lot of debt when my husband and I married. He brought in some pretty large chunks of debt and collections that were ‘inherited’ from someone else. Since I had never dealt with lines of credit or collections, I sought the advice of my parents for a problem solving strategy.

They suggested I pay off the debt as quickly as possible, negotiate with the collections company, and move on with my life.

Being the mature, reasonable adult I was, I promptly ignored them. Then, wisely, since I was already drowning in debt, frustrated, and hurt, I bought a brand spanking new car and took several trips to Hawaii.

When you have lots of debt, you get to a point where you simply give up. To the reader who e-mailed me, I’ve been exactly where you are right now and I’m getting to the other side – alive and breathing.

When I finally came to my senses in late 2008 and started to make efforts to fix the problem, my parents already knew I was a financial idiot. I think they were just waiting for me to raise my hand and ask for help. They never got angry and never made me feel bad about myself. I’m very fortunate to have a great set of parents. In short, unless you are REALLY REALLY good, you parents and family probably already know.

As for the exact words I used? You read them with my parents. Yup, I ‘came out’ on this blog.

If you need help with ideas on how to fix more serious issues in finances, ask for it. Then, save the grief, listen, and take action.

Here’s the part you won’t like. Only ask for advice and support, don’t ask for money.

Dave Ramsey is right. When money exchanges hands in families, Thanksgiving dinner will never taste the same. I can tell you that from personal experience.

You made the mess. Clean it up.

This weekend, I was able to spend time with my grandmother and she asked if I had any big plans for the year. I told her about the Italy trip but mentioned I was considering not going. She said, ‘You HAVE to go’ with more force than I could have expected from an 89 year old woman.

After dinner we sat to talk and she shared a story I had never heard before. My grandmother had always planned to travel with my grandfather. In their youth, work obligations and five children made that dream impossible. She figured they would go when the children were grown and out of the house. My grandfather started to show signs of Alzheimer’s in his forties and by his retirement years the disease had taken over and her dreams of traveling with the man she loved were gone.

‘Don’t ever assume you can go later. Listen to the wisdom of an old lady. Go now.’ She said emphatically.

She gave me the rare chance to look at things through the eyes of my future. When I’m 89, will I look back and say, ‘I wish I hadn’t gone to Italy and had paid off debt 3 months faster instead!’?

I think not.

So, I’m moving forward with my decision to go. Irresponsible? Yes. Will I waffle over the decision for 3 more months? Yup. But…

Will I regret it? No.

Sure I get my oil changes, my tires rotated, and every once in a while, I’ll throw in a radiator flush when the service guy nags me enough, but that’s pretty much where it ends.

I’m more of a reckless, fix it when it makes weird noises kind of gal.

This always worked when I was in college – but maybe that’s because dad was always there to ‘borrow’ my car and bring it back a few days later after he paid a mechanic to clean up my mess.

After I graduated, I bought a new car and with that, bought myself out of any service requirements for at least 50,000 miles (in my mind anyway).

Unfortunately for me (and VERY fortunate for my car), my husband believes in regular maintenance. Both our cars hit 60,000 miles this month and he scheduled maintenance on his truck this month and mine next month.

He worked with a family friend and was able to get the service done for $300. As I was figuring out where to pull the $300 from in our budget, the lovely state of California sent his truck registration bill of $295 – the fee unexpectedly raised yet again from last year (Thank you Arnold Schwarzenegger).

My husband and I were both able to work some odd jobs this month – thank goodness! – and should have most of it covered. But this week is turning out to be one expensive week!

I tried to remember the last time I owned a pair of flats and I think I can pinpoint it to 16 years ago. My mom let my wear my first set of heels at 14. Sure, they were only an inch or two high, but it was the beginning of a love affair.

This morning, after I safety pinned my pant legs up 5 inches, I headed to work. As I walked from the train to my office, I missed the loud click clack of my high heels but…

Holy cow…

Since when is it possible for shoes to feel like this? Each step felt like a hug from a plush pillow! I was ready to write a sonnet about my love for the new shoes! Why has this amazing secret been kept for so long!?!?!

I’m trying to be optimistic about my injury. I’m disappointed at the financial setback (even though it isn’t huge) and the pain is, at times, nearly unbearable but hey, the injury probably kept me from being the only 70 year old sporting stilettos.

It was run, run, run… face to concrete.

Apparently, it’s a fairly common injury – albeit a very painful one.

The bad part is, if I don’t get this thing under control, the doc will saddle me with a big, ugly, expensive medical boot.

Hmm… perhaps wearing 5” heels to work 10 hours later wasn’t a bright idea.

As someone who still periodically thinks I know better than others far more educated than myself, I didn’t think it would do too much damage… plus, other than two pairs of running shoes and two pairs of the mandatory California flip-flops (neither of which are HR approved for work use), I don’t own a pair of flats.

By 9 am, tears were streaming down my face.

So, I was forced to purchase… *gasp*… flats.

Maybe it was from the pain, maybe it was from the financial frustration, maybe it was from the stress of my 30th birthday, but I found myself with a face covered with tears blubbering to the poor shoe salesman about having to buy ‘grandma shoes’ and “it’s not in the budget – but neither is an ugly medical boot or more doctor’s bills.”

It wasn’t my strongest moment.

*Sigh*

Goodbye to my favorite pair of high heels, hello to ‘grandma shoes’ for however long it takes to avoid medical boots, doctors, and surgery.

The VERY NEXT DAY, the electrical went out in our garage. My husband said he was more than willing to prolong repairing it but couldn’t because he thought it was ‘potentially life threatening’ blah, blah, blah.

I offered to avoid the garage area, the open electrical box, and the live wires near the light switch but for some reason, he didn’t trust me to remember not to touch the switch while hungrily running to the garage freezer for a pint of Ben and Jerry’s – plus, there was some mention of a ‘potential fire hazard’.

The cost of the repairs? $150.

The amount of cash in our account? $162.

The amount of food in our fridge? None.

Our grocery budget funded the repairs.

It’s times like these, we are supposed to dive into our emergency fund. Electrical/housing/safety problem definitely qualifies as an EMERGENCY but for some reason, I can’t touch that cash without feeling uneasy.

Instead, I looked around my house for something to sell.

My eyes fell on a lamp, still in the box with a receipt taped to the top, which I purchased 2 weeks ago. The lamp in our living room broke and all we have is a fixture with a bare bulb. I bought a $40 floor lamp from Target to replace it but felt uneasy about spending money so I left it in the box while I debated it.

While I stood in the returns line to get back some cold hard cash for groceries, my sister called. When she asked what I was doing, I told her I was returning a lamp for grocery money.

You know you’ve reached a certain consistent level of crazy when your sister doesn’t hiccup over the above statement and simply says, “Cool. Anyway, are you coming to mom and dad’s today?”

Uh sure. Simple. Riiiiiight.

Especially since none of us have been there and no one but me has been out of the country.

No pressure.

I have left American soil precisely one time. I went to visit my sister living in Ireland. Planning that trip was easy. Book a flight, call sis, pack bags. This trip? Not so easy.

Would you do me a favor? Give me your best overseas traveling tip?

If there is a way to save, I’m going to find it!

When my husband and I married, money was no option. Meaning, my parents and I had no money – so spending it wasn’t an option. Somehow, my parents and my husband’s parents made our wedding feel like a grand affair. Maybe it was because they chose to emphasize the celebration aspect and skip the uber competitive stuffed chicken dinner with seafood appetizers and an open bar.

I loved our wedding. It was beautiful – without a huge price tag.

I’ve been to a LOT of weddings over the last few years. All were high priced sit down dinners with open bars – no doubt, they were fun. My friend who married on Sunday was the first to say no to keeping up with the Joneses.

How much did you spend on your wedding? Was it the right amount? Too much? Too little?

A co-worker in my department lives 2 blocks from the transit stop I wait at each morning. About 4 months ago, he started pulling over and picking me up on his way to work. I felt guilty about the free rides and my lack of desire to share the expense, so I changed my hours to use public transit again.

A week later, he changed his hours to match mine.

Over the last few weeks, he has started to complain about gas prices. I asked him why he doesn’t use the free public transportation and he responded, ‘Eww. No. I wouldn’t be caught dead on public transit.’ I used this opportunity to tell him that I use the money I save in gas to pay debt. He rolled his eyes.

Yesterday, I told him I was driving to work because I had to meet my sister and needed my car. He snapped, ‘Well, it would be nice if you offered to drive me once in a while.’ I was unsure of what to say so I dumbly said, ‘I’m sorry’ rather than explain myself…again.

I already know changing my hours won’t work. I’ve tried to sneak out of the building and hide at the bus stop but he always finds me and gets offended if I turn down a ride home. He makes my turning down his offer for a ride home to be a personal insult – and then talks about it at work. It appears as though I have to talk to him about it (more clearly than the first time) but I’m not sure what to say or how to bring it up.

Any advice?

Thought.

Hmm.

Last night, I asked my husband to pick up tomato soup and bread for dinner. Total spending shouldn’t have been more than $5.

He spent half our grocery budget – mostly on snack items I never buy.

He was excited to have ‘helped’ and I didn’t have the heart to tell him I’m not sure how we’re going to eat the rest of the month unless I can make meals out of Fritos, beef jerky, and Oreo cookies.

I had wheat bread with tomato soup for dinner last night and wheat bread with oranges for lunch today. 26 more days of 50 cent meals.

I can’t be mad. He was willing to take over the shopping without complaint and bought the things he thought I would like. Sure I’ll be eating wheat bread with carrots or oranges for the next 26 days, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m married to a sweet man… a sweet man who won’t be doing any more grocery shopping alone in the near future.

The deadly season of Easter.

It’s not the peeps that make my heart go pitter patter; it’s the tasty chocolate Cadbury Mini Eggs. I can’t resist them no matter how much they cost financially or physically. Sure the $2.50 price tag isn’t terrible but literally, I can’t fit into my pants after eating them. This is likely because I can eat a bag in less than a week and there are 56 grams of fat and 1,330 calories in each bag of yummy goodness.

I had to go to Target to buy a bag of dog food and couldn’t resist the bright sale sign resting on the heavenly purple bag (why don’t they ever put flax seed on sale?). I took the treasured chocolate eggs to work with my lunch and set my carrying bag on the table to pull out my food for the refrigerator. Distracted, I left the chocolate eggs in my carrying bag on the lunch table. 20 minutes later, I realized my mistake and went back to the lunch room to retrieve my food.

My carrying bag was there… the eggs were not.

My heart was broken (but my hips were thankful).

I’ve been hit by overspending Karma. I knew I shouldn’t have wasted the money (or the calories) and it was taken from me. Sure it seems silly to feel guilty for spending $2.50 when I’m planning on heading overseas – but saving for the trip has renewed my penny pinching ways to an unprecedented level. Since I don’t have the willpower necessary to resist the minefield of temptation, my husband will be doing the shopping for the next four weeks. Sorry Cadbury, our love affair is over.

Alas, I will eventually discover which of my co-workers has ‘sticky’ fingers – I’ll simply look for the one who can no longer fit in his or her pants by Friday.

And I’m kidding about Karma… well… kind of.

Target Stores (along with Henry’s, Trader Joe’s, Kroger, and Whole Foods) offer 5 cents off your bill for each bag used. The program started in November but somehow I missed the giant glowing red signs posted at eye level on each check stand until today.

Obviously I’m a very observant person.

The bags don’t have to be Target brand recycled bags but they cannot be regular plastic bags that you happen to be reusing.

If you know of any stores around you offering the same incentive – let me know!

2.) An elderly woman wearing pants with ‘Naughty’ crocheted across her hind quarters.

While I can’t stop an octogenarian shopping at my local Target store from reliving her youth inappropriately, I can stop car payments. How?

Our tax refund this year is just shy of $6,000.

We will wipe out 60% of our car debt. SIXTY PERCENT!!

YES!!

Californians aren’t necessarily ‘prepared’ when it comes to rain stronger than a light mist. Our local fire station ran out of 700 sandbags in less than 4 hours on Saturday.

Our house is located near the top of a low grade hill with a strong supporting wall so we don’t run the risk of flooding or landslides but my husband had to install rain gutters to keep the water from seeping under our front door.

Yes. Prior to this week, we did not have rain gutters… on a 50 year old house. In fact, more than half our neighbors don’t have rain gutters. If it actually rained in California, maybe we would have considered this sooner. Financial setback – $200. I guess we’ll be eating top ramen for the next three weeks.

My husband has been out in the rain stacking sandbags in the neighbor’s yard downhill from us. Their house has started to flood and the storms aren’t halfway over.

Some things are still funny. The transit company was out in waders measuring the water height on the train tracks. It would have been appropriate had the water been more than… 4 inches.

I still can’t complain. My sister is in Kansas City where the weather hasn’t been above freezing for most of the month. Sorry Liz.

How is the weather fairing around you? Has it set you back in your finances?

Since the lawsuit is still within the statute of limitations, I cannot say exactly what happened but I can say this…

It’s over – for now.

I received a call this afternoon from my attorney. The lawsuit against us has been dropped. Unfortunately, the statute of limitations won’t expire until March but for now, I’m very pleased.

Now if I can just survive the next 12 weeks!

My top four:

1. Replenish savings. Our bank accounts turned to rubble after the job loss and I find myself uncomfortable without a safety net. We do still have cash – but a trip to Taco Bell for two 89 cent burritos may cause an overdraft.

2. Pay off at least $19,000 in debt. We paid down over $17,000 this year and I think we may have a chance at $19,000 if we are able to keep our jobs.

3. Continue to find ways to live below my means. To start the new year off in the right direction, I registered for classes at our nearby community center rather than at a community college. I won’t get college credit (I don’t need it since I already have a degree) but I’ll save around $300 a year without having to give up my love for learning.

4. Take another budget vacation. Tent? Cheap motel? Roadtrip? Become a train hobo? Whatever we decide, it will be an adventure.

Do you have your goals planned for the year?

The truth is…

I didn’t.

I have two simple choices when it comes to reducing my debt. I can sprint or I can marathon.

I am currently sprinting. I’m pushing, giving it my all, and taking no breaks. Unemployment is forcing me to take a hard look at every dollar. There is no dinner with friends, no movies at theaters, no new clothes, no dental insurance, no doctor’s appointments, nothing. There is no waste.

Sure I could even go further. I could eat bread and water and be debt free faster. I could sell my car and bike to my bus stop in the dark and be debt free faster. I could stop wearing make-up, shower once weekly, and leave my electricity off and be debt free faster.

But my weariness would grow at the same sprinting pace and I would burn out before my balances ever read zero.

I can’t sprint forever and once my husband is employed again, I plan on slowing my pace to what is was before his layoff. Every once in a while, I think it’s OK to buy a $6 burger during happy hour at a nice restaurant. Once every few months, I like to buy my husband a bag of his favorite coffee.

This is my marathon. Sure, some folks will be faster and others will be slower but I’m running this debt marathon to finish – not to burn out before I see the finish line.

Are you sprinting or marathoning?

My best advice to the recently unemployed, be ready for a long ride. Prepare your finances immediately and don’t assume a check is coming anytime soon.

Our finances took a hit since we were carrying our mortgage and bills on my paycheck and savings alone but we’ve been able to level out a bit since the checks arrived. Whew!

Looks like I can finally buy some splurge items – and by splurge, I mean an occasional sale priced ground beef instead of a cart full of Ramen alone.

Trouble has started to present itself on the hydration front. There are no water sources on the trails or in the parks.

Unfortunately, I’m limited on how much I can carry. Once I mix in my necessities (granola bar, house keys, and shimmer lip gloss), my hands are full. I’d carry a backpack but I get quickly overheated – and if you’ve ever run with a backpack, you know how awful it feels.

Instead, I hike or run a little, walk back to my house, drink water, and head out again. I figured it was something I’d have to live with. But then, while out on a trail, a girl ran past me with a water bottle belt with tiny little pockets for necessities.

I never dreamed I’d be ogling a glorified fanny pack.

I went to the sports store and found one just like it… for $19.99. It’s not a life changing amount – unless you’re dealing with unemployment. That $19.99 would look better as four meals than an optional piece of sports equipment.

I debated with myself for a good half hour then finally, the accountant in me won the battle and I left empty handed. As I kissed my runners fanny pack goodbye, I promised I’d be back as soon as my husband was gainfully employed.

In the mean time, I will stick close to home or… duct tape a water bottle to my arm.

For the most part, this isn’t a problem. If we run out of food, we invite ourselves over to dinner at our parents…er.. um… I mean, we visit our parents because we love them and the free food is just an added benefit.

This week presented a new problem…

We ran out of toothpaste and mouthwash.

Determined to stay on our budget, I robbed my luggage of two travel size tubes of toothpaste. We’re running low but we have enough to last until Friday when our new budget begins.

I dug through our closets but failed to find any mouthwash – travel size or otherwise. I went into the kitchen to see if I could find anything there. Soap? Comet? Dishwashing liquid? And then I stumbled upon a bottle of vodka.

“Sweetie?” I called to my husband in the living room “Do you think I could use vodka as a mouthwash? They’re both essentially alcohol right? Either way, the results will be positive. It will work or it won’t and I won’t care that we don’t have mouthwash anymore.”

My husband laughed as if I were making a joke.

I wasn’t.

I put the vodka back in the cabinet and figured that regular brushing and flossing will have to do until tomorrow.

But this morning, I searched my hypothesis and…

http://www.ehow.com/how_4524768_use-vodka-as-antibacterial-agent.html

So if you ever run out of mouthwash, you can make your own – and yes, you use vodka.

And just in case my mother reads this, let me clarify – you don’t actually have to drink the vodka.

I asked my husband where I should hide the money and he looked at me quizzically.

‘Hide it? It’s one hundred bucks, not the Hope Diamond honey. Just put it on the desk’ he said.

‘No!’ I screamed. ‘Can you hide it in a DVD?’ I begged.

‘Sure’ he laughed (sadly, I’m used to him laughing at me).

A few minutes later I asked him which DVD he put the money in. ‘From Justin to Kelly – because no one on God’s green earth would steal that film’ he said.

Gee hon… thanks.

It’s funny how my views about money have continued to change over the last year. Last summer, I would have spent that $100 on a date night or a cute pair of shoes. Now, I can stretch that same $100 into two or three weeks of groceries.

At this time in my life, that $100 IS the Hope Diamond.

Perhaps it’s because my husband is blaring Amy Grant’s ‘Tender Tennessee Christmas’ in the other room.

No. I’m not joking.

His happy-go-lucky Pollyanna ‘I love the earth and all holidays’ attitude is for the most part a wonderful thing…

But thoughts of Christmas in October simply make me (and anyone within 50 yards of his subwoofer) suicidal.

I have to give him credit… it is an important reminder that we have to start thinking about Christmas gifts now. Since I’m broke and can’t spend 50 bucks on the last remaining blockbuster gift card in the Vons checkout on December 24th, I’ve got to make my plan of action. I’ve got to start taking left over change from payphones, digging through the neighbor’s garbage for recyclables, or compiling leftover foil for a life sized foil ball. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my 29 years on this earth, it’s the fact that everyone needs a foil ball the size of a Honda.

No?

Hmm. Well, what was the best low (or preferably) no cost gift you ever received?

Last year my siblings and I compiled letters from us to our parents telling them how much we appreciated and loved them and had them printed and bound at Shutterfly.com (Walmart.com also provides the same photo type books we used). But I’m out of ideas! Help!