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Browsing posts in: Life Experiences

Long Term Thinking

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Hey BAD Community,

The last 6 months last year has been one of the toughest of my life. And anyone who has followed my journey knows that is saying ALOT.

And my life here on display often spotlighted my truly bad decisions. As much as I have grown and changed, well, we all know I still screw up with my finances, especially when the decision is tired to my heart, i.e. my kiddos. However, I truly believe I’m really on the right path now. And I am SO GRATEFUL for the years of tough love and even more so all the encouragement and guidance recently.

You all have heard me moan about what’s next and big changes in my life. And I still have no idea what direction I am going.

So I’m sitting tight and doing lots of time in my head and down time with my library books.

library book and grapes for a snack

Making Small Changes

I don’t want to make any big changes during this emotional time. But I can’t just sit idle and wait. I’ve been putting lots of thought into the long game for me. Here’s a few of my thoughts and I’d love to hear your thoughts on my reasoning.

My Home

First, I feel very blessed for being able to buy my house a few years ago. But it never would have been possible if I hadn’t fallen into my W2 job. (Getting approved for a mortgage as a contractor is hard, at best.) With that being said, unless I go back into the corporate world, the chances of me getting approved for another mortgage are slim to none. I have known that and am okay with that.

This means that this is my forever home. Therefore, I am making decisions with that in mind. I have spent the last couple of years remodeling the house and have kept my old age in mind. And I don’t have any immediate need projects that require attention.

Getting rid of my hot tub is a step toward a perfect forever home for me. Selling it took a lot of regular maintenance needs off my shoulders.

My eye is now on creating a much lower maintenance yard with a secondary focus on having a edible yard. During my down time I am doing a ton of research on native Georgia plants and working on designing my yard to be more low maintenance and full of good to for me garden produce.

baby tomatoes from my garden

Work, yes…but Joy?

We all know I’m looking for work. That’s not news. And that will be ongoing until I either get another corporate job. But in addition to work, it’s time I figure out what else my life is going to be about. For the last 20 years, I’ve been mom. Now I’m still mom, but the kids are grow and dispersed.

I need another purpose. I need another passion. This has been my biggest struggle.

I would love to hear from other people who have faced an empty nest and had no clue how to handle the new reality. I just can’t believe I never imagined this time. (Or maybe I did, but have spent the last 5 years thinking I would have a partner in life, a husband to take my attention.)

My dreams have been vivid. Big. My heart still longs to work with kids. But I don’t have it in me to foster any new kids.

I’d love to hear from you. What did you or would you do in my situation?

Read More from Hope

May Challenge – Reuse, Repurpose – May, 2021

Growing Vegetables Inside – October, 2019

Our Summer Garden is Growing! – May, 2019

 

How to Ask for a Raise

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pay raise

I work in academia, and we recently completed our academic year. At the end of each year, we receive our annual evaluations and have an opportunity for a career conversation with our boss.

I’m really proud of my output this past year. I have been a little productivity machine. Overseeing projects, course programming, curriculum development and expansion, and more. Additionally, I personally came up with a creative solution to a specific problem we were having. In addition to fixing the problem, my solution netted our department upwards of $600,000 this past Spring. These are big numbers in academia (this isn’t the tech world!), and the increased revenue will continue for the foreseeable future.

All that said, I think I have the justification needed to ask for a raise. There’s just one problem……a lack of confidence.

Difficulties Asking for a Raise…

Asking for a raise is tough. And women are far less likely to ask for a raise than their male counterparts. And more than that, some research suggests that even when a woman asks for a raise, she’s less likely to receive it than her male colleagues.

Plus, some of this is a personality thing for me. I put my head down and work. I don’t ask for much from anybody and I don’t need much to get the job done. Additionally, I recognize all the non-monetary perks I’ve received lately – my boss just paid to upgrade my office (new space, new paint, new carpet and furniture), paid for me to go to Nashville in April, and Jakarta, earlier this month, etc. I am so grateful for all those things, I don’t want to come across as greedy or ungrateful.

But even so, I think I deserve a raise. I can point to numbers as evidence to back up my worth. So I started doing some research and wanted to gather together some tips I found helpful. By the time this post is published, I will have already had a meeting with my boss to ask for a raise. I will report back on how well (or not) these tips worked for me.

Tips to Ask for a Raise

  1. Justify it. This can’t be a personal justification (e.g., “rent is going up!”). It needs to be business-based. For example, I can point to the extra revenues I’ve generated. I also plan to put together a brief portfolio of my major accomplishments from the past semester. Also, it’s very common that women are paid less than their male counterparts and, if that’s the case, you could use that as part of the justification of deserving a higher salary. Equity is important!
  2. Rehearse the Ask. This may be more beneficial for folks like me who are nervous to make the ask. The best way to get comfortable with it is to practice. Think about (or even write out) what you plan to say. Thank your boss for their management/past raises/whatever, and express your gratitude and appreciation. Then go into your ask and justification. It may feel awkward or uncomfortable at first. So practice again and again. Practice out loud in a mirror. Practice with your spouse or a friend. The more you do it, the more natural it will become.
  3. Have a specific number in mind. Don’t just ask for a raise, in general. Be prepared to ask for what you really want. I’m going to ask for 15%. But if I end up with a 10% raise I’ll be happy. But there was one time in my career that I was given almost a 55% pay increase! So don’t be afraid to ask for what you’re worth! Even if it’s a large percentage point.
  4. Set a meeting. Set a meeting specifically to ask for the raise. Don’t try to squeeze in a request for a raise to an already packed meeting agenda. You don’t want it to be rushed or try to squeeze in the request as you’re heating lunch in the office microwave. Instead, request a special meeting for the sole purpose of going over your accomplishments and asking for the raise. You can even tell your boss its coming (e.g., send an email saying you’d like to meet to talk about your recent accomplishments and to discuss your compensation).
  5. Have a plan for the long game. The last time I specifically asked for a raise was 2 years ago. At that point, I asked for a steep 32% raise. I knew it was a long-shot due to the high figure, but I also knew I had the justification to support it. My boss couldn’t meet that figure, saying the best she could do was 22%. But that didn’t stop me from asking for more down the road. I asked what it would take to make up that last 10% – what numbers I would need to hit, what goals or markers needed to be reached. And in the end, I got another small raise 6 months later (about 2.5%) and another more moderate sized raise after another 6 months (about 8%). That put me at the total figure I’d originally asked for. It just took a little time to get there. Asking for raises should be the long-game. A continual conversation.

 

Do you have any other ideas to add to the list, above? What are your best tips about asking for a raise?