“Life Experiences” Archive
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Remember a few years ago, Toys R Us began offering “gift registry” for holidays and birthdays for kids? I remember seeing those commercials and being appalled and then it seemed that I didn’t hear much more about the concept. Well, I just googled it and they are still offering it. I just have to hope that it is not catching on to any great extent. The very concept is ridiculous to me! What does that teach our kids?!
I think registries started with weddings, didn’t they? I can see the rationale behind that I guess–if you think about out of town guests wanting to send gifts that they know the couple need and want, but even that has gone extreme. In the mid-nineties it was still about knowing what dishes and silverware-maybe towels– a couple chose but the last gift registry I printed up had things like outdoor patio furniture and cleaning supplies! It almost looked as though the couple had everything they really needed so they were adding stuff just to add stuff.
The baby registry probably started with good intentions too but is now off the charts. Everyone should just give the new parents diapers….period.
But the one that took the cake for me were the friend of friend who was expecting a baby at the time of her marriage. I’m not so out of it to find that unusual these days–it happens–but she actually registered with Target’s Club Wedd AND Lullaby Club at the same time! Oh…wait…there was another one that took the cake. The parish priest who arrived at a new parish and a “welcome” party was put together for him. Imagine my shock and awe when a note was included that Father So-in-So was registered at Bed, Bath & Beyond! Maybe put word out verbally about what he may need at his new residence but a registry?! Really?!
It has been almost 8 years since I had a newborn baby so maybe I have forgotten just how much stuff parents ask for and receive for the birth of a baby! I remember my two kids loving the “Exersaucer” and if there was one item I would insist on keeping…it would be that item. We used the same one for both kids and then gave it to my great nephew when he was born. Have any of you noticed how much stuff parents have these days for babies?! Is this unique to our culture? Do they do this in Europe? Asia? I really don’t know and haven’t cared to research it but as I look at life with an eye toward less stuff…the parents I see even just at the grocery store have a vehicle full of stuff just to get the baby in the store! Those grocery cart seat protector things were just getting popular when my youngest was in the grocery cart and I never got one b/c they looked entirely too difficult for me to use. Oh and are they still making those wipe warmer things?
And forget road trips….I DO remember not knowing what to take as a new parent so I took everything we had but with experience I figured it out. These days there’s just more stuff for the road trips too!
A quick estimate with a groovy calculator on Babycenter.com says the first year of baby will cost new parents $10,000 to $12,000. That’s childcare, diaper, food and miscellaneous items. I know many of you are expecting a baby or have a new baby and this truly is an awesome time—don’t read this as saying anything else. For those of you who haven’t yet started families…beware of the baby stuff syndrome! It can getcha when you least expect it!
The baby phase is so much fun in so many ways, but I am thankful this season is behind us! 
This post has triggered thoughts for my next post…gift registries…
SA doesn’t have much in the way of professional sports, but we do love our Spurs. With all the Spurs hype going on right now (we’re in the playoffs in case you aren’t interested in the NBA) and a recent conversation with my 82-year-old father…it occurred to me that enjoying such events “live” is impossible to do when on a budget. My dad has such great stories about growing up in New York City and although he was being raised by a single parent on a single income–he was still able to enjoy the Yankees. What a shame it is that professional sporting events have become so out of reach. Both my husband and I have gone to games both just for pleasure and then for work events as well. It’s fun but we see now that it isn’t $50+ per person fun that’s for sure…and that’s just for bad seats.
The kids don’t bug us to go to games at all—each of them have been before–with school, scouts, etc…and we aren’t rabid basketball fans. As I look through my new “debt free” lenses and really thought about where the kids have the most fun, the local high school games definitely came to mind. We have gone out to support friends’ kids at their “amateur” games and what fun that has been for all of us.
While on business recently in Houston, the local news reported on “opening day” for the Astros and the changes put in place at their home field–Minute Maid Park. Due to struggling ticket sales and overall fan dissatisfaction, the team owner changed things up by allowing people to bring in coolers full of drinks and snacks! The prices on everything –from tickets to the snack bar—\were also dropped to encourage famlies to come out to the ball game. I haven’t checked in to see how that plan is going but it sounds like a great idea to me!
We’ll continue saying with pride, “GO! SPURS! GO!” all from the comfort of home while watching our television with an antenna! And if it isn’t on a channel that we get….we’ll be sure to recap the win over dinner that night.
Are any of you master hagglers? I am not but my husband certainly has this skill set. As I’m reading more and more on financial stuff, I came across a great article about haggling on www.moneytalknews.com. I find haggling to be extremely awkward and just don’t seem to have the guts to ask for a reduced price. After reading and thinking about this area, I really liked the tip about paying with cash vs. paying with plastic. The merchant is going to save money by my use of cash…so why shouldn’t I get a cut of that savings? I think I shared once that the little cafe in my building gives a 7% discount to the customer if they use cash–automatically. I don’t know of any other merchant doing that so this tip is something I could be brave enough to point out. I’m going to test the waters on this one and challenge myself to ask for a discount when I use cash.
DH does not fear the awkwardness I’m speaking about here and he definitely has the persistent tip covered. I tease him sometimes that he often gets what he wants in a purchase setting bc the seller just wants him to stop! He isn’t afraid to walk away and he does the haggling with such friendliness that people don’t get angry…they end up (like the article talks about) wanting to help someone they like. I think I’ve ruined this for him on more than one occasion. I get so uncomfortable with that silence that really DOES give you leverage that I start talking and…we lose the leverage! I’m getting better at walking away and not ruining things but I need to learn to sit and just be quiet!
Thanks Brandon Ballenger at Money Talks News!
Here are the tips:
1. Do your homework
It’s easier to bargain for a deal (and recognize if you’re really getting one) when you understand the numbers. Before you go shopping, research prices and competitors. Check on store policies to see if a business matches prices, and under what conditions. And while this obviously applies to big purchases like appliances, don’t stop there. If the dry cleaner down the street is charging $1 for shirts, why should you pay $1.25 at yours?
2. Don’t be afraid to walk away
Your biggest bargaining chip is the fact your business isn’t guaranteed. If a seller is convinced you’re going to buy (or continue buying) from them regardless, you’re at their mercy. They should be at yours. Not getting the price you want? Say you’re going to see if the next competitor down the list can do better. If they don’t care, neither will you – because you’ll mean it.
The person with the power is the one who doesn’t care if the deal gets done.
3. Ask the right person
Not everybody has the authority to negotiate, so seek out the decision-maker. Customer service, billing issues, and cancellations are often handled by different people, especially on the phone. In a store, the salespeople might not have the authority to negotiate. Ask. If they don’t, speak to a manager. In fact, any time someone can’t or won’t help you with any purchase or problem, don’t be afraid to say, “OK. Now I understand you can’t help me. May I please speak with someone who can?”
4. Time it right
One trick to negotiating is understanding the other person’s business. For instance, at certain times of the year, clothing stores are eager to get rid of seasonal merchandise. Car dealers might be pushing to meet an end-of-month quota. And every salesperson is more attentive when business is slow. New Year’s Eve is traditionally one of the best times to shop for a car – it’s end of the month, end of the year, and there are no customers in the showroom.
In short, try to buy when others aren’t and when stores need to either clear inventory or make quota.
5. Pay with paper instead of plastic
Businesses can pay up to 3 percent in transaction costs by accepting credit cards. If you’re paying cash, you deserve to take at least that much off the purchase price.
6. Don’t fear awkwardness
If you have little experience haggling, don’t sell yourself short just because it feels weird. You’re not being a cheapskate, and the other party isn’t going to hate you. Don’t get flustered by a momentary silence, and don’t be afraid to pause and think. In fact, silence can be a bargaining tool. According to Stacy, who was in securities sales for 10 years, “In any negotiation, make an offer, then shut up. Wait 10 minutes in silence if you have to. Because more often than not, the next person to speak loses.”
7. Be friendly
Being aggressive only works when you’re in the superior position. If you lack power – which you do when trying to negotiate something like a discounted hotel room – play nice. Rude customers are the rule for most people in customer service. Be the exception. Smile, be patient, make a joke. Nobody wants to help a jerk, but everyone wants to do a favor for a friend.
That being said, it’s important to be real. You don’t have to be Donald Trump or Mr. Rogers to get a deal – just be yourself. Use the person’s name as often as possible, look them in the eye, and treat people like you like being treated.
8. Be firm
Being nice doesn’t mean rolling over. If you’re a steady customer, don’t be shy about pointing that out. Your loyalty should be worth something. And if not, your future business definitely is.
9. Be persistent
Stacy’s rule: ask three times. “When I go into a hotel, I ask for a discount. If they say no, I say, “Are you sure there’s not some special rate you can give me?” If they still say no, then I use my fallback. I smile big and say, “Well, you can at least give me the Elvis suite for the same price, right?” They invariably laugh, and almost invariably give me the best deal they possibly can.
Speaking of upgrades…
10. Go for extras
If the price is non-negotiable, don’t give up. There are other ways to sweeten a deal – like a free upgrade, accessories, a future discount, free shipping, free delivery, or free installation. Sometimes, businesses are already prepared to offer these concessions – because they’re cheaper than dropping the price but still make customers happy.
Bottom line? Like conversation, negotiation is an art that cries out to be practiced. It’s not just acceptable, it’s fun. It often results in lively banter and nearly as often a better deal.
Sunday nights are always about setting out my clothing for Monday and mentally preparing outfits for the rest of the week. This is a habit that goes back to my Catholic high school days where I wore a uniform and when I got to college I had the HARDEST time figuring out wardrobe in the morning! Now..if for some reason I skip this routine at night and have to put something together in the morning…look out…it derails the entire day! I don’t have a ridiculous amount of options either–in fact, most people are surprised by my limited wardrobe that I do a lot with by mixing and matching. I set everything out—and if I don’t I scan on it and can’t fall asleep! I’ve instilled the same thing in the kids and now they make sure they have something out for the next day.
As I prepare to do this now, I see that I am faced with a dreaded trip to the dry cleaner. I am now much better about checking the labels before making a clothing purchase to avoid dry clean garments entirely but some of my more professional selections require dry cleaning. This dry cleaning industry baffles me. It bugs me that they don’t have to have their prices posted AND don’t get me started on women’s clothing costing so much more than men’s. I just don’t see a huge difference between my standard button down dress shirts and my husband’s dress shir-except mine is smaller so it should cost less! And…wouldn’t a skirt be easier to dry clean than men’s slacks? Why is the skirt always more expensive?! Is it like this everywhere in the country? I’ve tried the $1.29 sort of places and sometimes they are good and other times they are bad…and then there was the one that hit the news here that just shut down and customers could not get their clothing. I try to use coupons when I can but either way–it is an expensive option. Has anyone used those home dry cleaning kits? Dryel I think is one brand.
Anyway, back to the closet…I’ll find something for sure but my stack of black slacks (can you ever really have too many black slacks?) need to be dry cleaned!!
It is Fiesta Time in San Antonio. This city wide, week long party is a defining San Antonio moment. There are parades, festivals, food, drink, silly “royalty,” memory making moments, more drink, more food…and a lot of money blown! I didn’t grow up in San Antonio (nearby, yes…but there’s a big difference b/w my hometown and SA) and, for whatever reason, I never found Fiesta all that appealing. There really are some people who could read that and gasp. I don’t know–maybe it is like someone from New Orleans saying they could do without Mardi Gras. Either way—not a huge event on my radar. There are only so many fajita tacos and beers a gal can have!
There ARE kid friendly events and we do usually make at least one of the 3 major parades, but as the kids get older even that is a take it or leave it event. So, it wasn’t a huge adjustment with the new spending plan this year to avoid Fiesta events…but all the planning by others did get me paying attention in a new way this year. Festivals/Carnivals can easily set us back over $200 when all 6 of us go! The last time we did this was for a Church Festival and yes that is a very good cause…but with our current financial situation, donations will need to be made in a different way! Side note: We continue to make regular donations in a smaller amount than in the past—short term until we make some progress on the debt and then we will build that back up. We are also giving more of our time which is so great for us and the kids).
The kids have never “bugged” us to go to these things—honestly, it was more force of habit. “It’s April–time for Fiesta” or “It’s February, time for the Rodeo.” And these events have now almost come and gone for 2012 and our kids aren’t inquiring…the Boy Scout did his service for the fundraiser of selling parade seats (set up and take down of chairs) and no one is begging to go to Fiesta. That’s nice to see and compute–it makes changing the habit very doable.
I’ve always wanted to garden. I’ve also always had enough compassion to not do so for the sake of the living plant. I have a sister who can make any plant flourish and I’m convinced she got all of the genes for gardening. My stepson has a knack for this sort of thing and I think it would be a great project for him to start as summer approaches. I’m doing some online research to find some easy stuff to start with that will give both of us some success! I’d like to just start with some small container plants–maybe some herbs—and see how that goes. My mom had a garden when I was growing up and I do remember the fun of planting and nurturing the garden—and then experiencing the results of our hard work when we had vegetables from the garden. It seems like a great team building activity. It appears that the drought has lifted a bit so maybe something will grow!
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My Debt
- Original Debt: $97,293.06
- Paid: $1,927.89
- Remaining: $95,365.17
- Emergency Fund: $1100
- Broken Down
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- Credit Card 3: $405.00
- Credit Card 6: $1,785.00
- Credit Card 7: $2,381.17
- Consolidation Loan: $11,000.00
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