It creaked. It groaned. It fell. I cried.

We have a couple options:

a. We can leave the fence broken, give away our dogs, and hope nothing larger than a hippo wants in or out of our yard.

b. We can do yet another band-aid fix – i.e. buy more chicken wire, bazooka bubble gum, and a load of hope and prayer.

c. We can construct what I consider a perfectly acceptable but perhaps not aesthetically pleasing Preskool bubbly plastic play gate in a rainbow of colors available at garage sales everywhere.

Or

d. We can build a real fence.

Now is not a good time for this to happen (when is?). My husband started his job on Tuesday and won’t receive a paycheck until next week. Fortunately, those of us who are paid bi-weekly receive three paychecks in one month two times per year. January just happens to be my three paycheck month.

Sniff. Goodbye extra car payment.

We decided to build a new fence with my third check. Over the last three years, we could have paid for a new fence several times over but never seemed to have enough to do anything more than band-aid fix after band-aid fix. My husband is constructing the fence and stringing it with power so we can add lighting in the future. Looking at the perfectly dug trenches in our back yard, it appears as though I am haunted by a 170 pound gopher who looks a lot like my husband.

It’s time to stretch ourselves. I’m tired of continuing to make bad temporary financial decisions.

We had been looking forward to becoming debt free in about 12 months, but our schedule has been delayed due to the bout of unemployment. I could tell you that I’m not disappointed… and I could also tell you I was excited to see my check engine light pop on this morning – but I’d be lying.

Setbacks and adjustment are just a part of the journey.

How are we dealing we ours?

Rather than jump straight into reducing debt, we are going to rally up our depleted savings. Depending on my husband’s actual start date, we should be back up in about 2 months. After we have a stable amount, we’re going to jump right back into the fight against our debt.

The good news? My husband will start working at construction prevailing wage rates in February or March. Prevailing wage rates are higher than he is currently earning and should help us get back on track faster.

We received an e-mail about a month ago proposing a company potluck instead of the catered affair. It sounded like a stupid idea to me. Dry mashed potatoes? Soggy salad? Not my idea of holiday cheer.

As I entered the giant conference room, I was assaulted by the powerful scents of AMAZING food. I was wrong about the culinary talents of my co-workers.

I am fortunate to work with a group of ethnically diverse folks. I filled my plate with lumpia, pancit, spicy dip, Mexican cheese wraps, and other foods I’d never had the opportunity to try before. For two hours, I ate the treasures created by my co-workers and shared my fresh warm bread. We talked and shared recipes. We caught up on recent gossip and for a moment…

forgot that the economy sucks.

It was by far the best company party we’ve ever had.

Try something new this year. It may just be the best thing you’ve ever done.

Maybe this recession isn’t all bad.

Thursday I went running and felt a painful pop in my left knee. I fell, sat on the concrete for a bit, and then wished I hadn’t worked so hard to teach my dogs not to pull on their leashes. I was hoping to sprawl out on the ground and have them pull my limp body home like sled dogs. Who knew well behaved dogs could be the bane of my existence?

I was feeling generous – so I gave myself 36 hours to recover.

Saturday morning, the weather was far too amazing to stay inside. I grabbed the dogs and took them to the dog park. Our park has big, beautiful trees that shade a running path. Apparently I overcompensated for my faulty knee… and pulled a groin muscle on my right side.

As if it’s not bad enough that my dogs can’t double as a Siberian sled team, both injuries happened about 3 miles from home. Why? So I could spend an hour each time dragging myself home while learning a life lesson about pushing too hard.

Focus can be great. But too much of it can be dangerous.

For all you type A personalities out there (*waving my arm*)… take a break.

Residents in our area are often sent letters asking to reduce water use. Thanks to ‘Navy showers’, reduction in roommates, and landscaping akin to the dust bowl, we personally cut our water usage by 50%. According to water company reports, our fellow residents cut their water usage by nearly 10%.

I received a letter titled ‘Water Rate Increase’ with my bill. The water company is raising rates in part because of… get this…

Lower water sales.

Um. Didn’t you ask me to stop using water? And now I have to pay more because I actually stopped using it?

Our 50% reduction in water usage resulted in… a bill that was 5.5% less than last month’s.

Striking oil in California won’t make you rich – but striking water just might.

It’s times like these that you just have to laugh.

First, we cut our dental and vision insurance. This is something that can easily be re-instated but the $25 a month can help me now.

Second, I cancelled all my appointments health related or otherwise. None of my appointments were an emergency and I requested that my doctor renew my prescriptions without the annual check-up since the last 6 years have been clear of any problems. These appointments and tests run in the neighborhood of $500.

Third, I called my cable company to cancel our cable, reduce our internet speed, and reduce our phone service. I explained our situation and was surprised when they offered reduced internet costs, reduced phone costs, and added free services and free channels for a 12 month period. I would tell you how much I’m paying – but I’m afraid they’ll figure out they made a huge mistake and ‘correct’ the discount… or fire the guy who gave it to me. I would have cut out the internet and phone entirely but my husband needs internet for school purposes and job searching late at night when he gets home (free internet at the library is closed) and I’m uncomfortable without a home phone for emergencies.

Fourth, I contacted my student loan company for a deferment.

Fifth, my husband and I contacted friends and family and let them know we’d be available for odd jobs. Since unemployment doesn’t start for nearly a month after a job loss, my husband has done everything from pulling weeds to insulating walls. I have been helping a company with paperwork at night after work. We use this money for groceries and for the important bills like electric and water. At no time should you feel you are ‘too good’ for any type of job.

Sixth, we cut off all our subscriptions and memberships. If you’re like us, you may not even remember you have some of them since they are automatically billed to your credit card and you may not look at each item on your online statement. Some examples: gym memberships, club memberships, magazine and newspaper subscriptions (some automatically renew unless you cancel). Savings – $50 a month.

Seventh, we’ve been using more public transportation. It takes twice as long to get somewhere, it’s uncomfortable, and it’s far from fun, but it saves $50-$75 a month.

It’s not a lot, but each item buys us a little more time.

A job.

He was laid off on Friday.

I’m struggling with this not only because of the lack of significant income but more because of how it happened. There were two employees laid off on Friday. The other employee was given three days notice, my husband was given no notice. I could understand if my husband had been at all unreliable or perhaps a bad employee, but he was neither. They simply needed some final projects completed and were worried he wouldn’t put in the extra overtime to complete them if he knew he wouldn’t have a job by Friday afternoon.

My husband has worked at this company for SIX years. I expected better from them.

I’m dealing with it the best way I can. I’m working to reduce, reduce, reduce. I’ll go more into that later.

I’m also trying my best to be something I am not – optimistic. Here’s my new list of reasons it’s G-R-E-A-T he’s unemployed:

1 – He can make all those mid-day calls to businesses only open from the annoying Monday through Friday 8-5 window. I’ve been trying to call my bank for YEARS!

2 – My husband, who is far more talented in the kitchen than I am, will cook more. Sure it will be Ramen, but it will somehow taste better since he’s making it.

3 –We won’t be weighed down by worries about job loss.

4 – We will be more creative in our bill pay process. Perhaps San Diego Gas and Electric will accept peanut butter cookies and hugs for payment? How about if the cookies are homemade?

5 – I don’t have to worry about my car getting repossessed because… I OWN IT!! And, we’re ahead in payments on the truck so we have some glide time.

6 – I will be able to empathize, once again, with some of my readers on what it’s like to not have a job and wonder how on earth we are going to pay the bills.

So here’s to my struggling readers – I’ve been there before, I’m there again, and we’ll survive it.

Thursday’s post made me realize how silly it was that I didn’t know how, and in these boring months between payoffs, I find myself needing a distraction.

I learned a few things:

1. Bikini tops, though amusing to community pool staff, are not conducive to learning how to swim.
2. It takes an aquaphobic person 17 minutes to be coerced into a 3 ½ foot lap pool.
3. My husband is a very patient man.
4. Swimming, biking, and running on the same day with untrained muscles will cause pain that rivals injuries sustained in a roll over car accident.

As I walk with a limp today, I can’t help but compare this pain to the pain I felt when starting my journey toward a debt free future. It’s painful now and it will continue to be painful in the future. It will never be easy. If it were easy, everyone would be debt free and physically fit.

Pain is a sign of growing, learning, and taking responsibility for the future.

What is my worst financial pain? Not being able to travel. I don’t miss my credit card balance, but I miss the yearly trips that came with it.

What is your worst financial pain? What do you miss the most?

My husband is attending a bachelor party this weekend and the event required one credit card to book the trip for all five attendees (the bill could not be split). Most of our friends know about our recent credit card payoff (maybe shouting that fact from my roof and breaking into song was a clear sign) and naturally suggested that since we ‘had the room’ on our card (as if it were free), that my husband pay for the entire trip and be reimbursed later.

I’m not going to lie. I am upset.

Perhaps I’d be more trusting if this hadn’t happened before with concert and event tickets and in the end, we were always short. People conveniently ‘forget’ to pay or promise to pay later and then get annoyed when reminded. Plus, the credit card will be kept on file in case there are damages to the room or if alcohol is consumed.

When I asked why someone else couldn’t pony up a credit card, he told me it was because everyone is nearly maxed out but us. Um… isn’t that a good reason NOT to loan these people our credit card?

My husband and I rarely fight but this is a sensitive issue for me and I feel like we are opening ourselves up to a lot of potential debt.

Am I overreacting?

I’m fortunate to be married to a hardworking construction genius who can do the work himself (plus, my husband looks irresistible in safety goggles). We only have to pay for the materials which should run about $100.

Why are we insulating? Our house was built in the 1950’s and no insulation was used on any interior or exterior walls. Our heating and cooling bills are much higher than they need to be. The initial expense of the upgrade will be quickly paid for in lower electric bills plus, it’s better for the environment. And… our new roommates are newlyweds – that’s reason enough in itself.

It always seems like when we have an opportunity to get ahead, the necessities of life burn through the cash. Between tuition costs, new dog vet bills, and the two weddings, we have had to pony up more than $3,000 in the last two months.

These expenses would have buried us in the past, but careful planning and frugal spending have kept our heads above water.

But…

All I have been hearing about for the last week on every news station in San Diego is the Cash for Clunkers program and about angry car dealers who have decided to cut off the program early. Dealers have found themselves swimming in paperwork and unable to get timely reimbursement for the Clunkers (most dealers in this area have been reimbursed for less than 25% according to the reports). The Clunkers program was expected to last until November but quickly ran out of money in the first few days. More money was added to the pot, but it was used faster than expected as well.

And of course…

The local news stations have tied this topic to the heated healthcare reform debate. The ‘failure’ of this program has caused people to worry about governmental competence when it comes to their health.

What do you think?

A COLLECTIONS AGENCY!

‘This message is for Rebekah’s husband [obviously they stated my husband’s full name], we have an urgent matter to discuss with you. We’re calling from Blankety Blank Collections, please call us immediately!’

I called my husband in a panic. ‘Honey, you’ve got something in COLLECTIONS! Can you call them the second you get home!!??’

I dialed again.

*ring*

‘Hon, don’t give them your Social Security Number!’

*ring*

‘Hon, don’t give them your credit card number!’

*ring*

‘Tell them we want something in writing or an office address!’

To which he finally said, ‘Sweetheart, I can’t call them unless you stop calling me.’

Oh. Oops.

A few minutes later, he called me back and said…

‘Same name, wrong person.’

Hey Collections folks, thanks for making not only people with who can’t pay their bills miserable but also everyone else who shares their name.

I can only hope they won’t be calling back.

My first summer out of college, I flew to visit my sister living in Ireland. I had no money and no job, but this was my first opportunity to see my sister who I hadn’t seen in a few years.

We drank pints of Guinness in dodgy bars, ate Irish/Chinese food, explored the entire island, and somehow crashed her car into a fence. We sat on the edge of the Cliffs of Moher while David Gray sang ‘This Years Love’ from our cheap speakers. I had just started dating someone new (I later married that same fabulous man) and couldn’t imagine a world happier than mine at that moment. I had the most memorable trip of my life… and my MasterCard footed the $1,500 bill.

I know there are many more memorable trips in my future (trips I will save up CASH to pay for) but I don’t regret that ‘foolish’ spending. As I’m paying down my credit card, I try to remember that at least part of that payment is going toward one of the best times in my life. It takes a little bit of the angry bite out of those payments.

Is there something you don’t regret pulling out your Visa buy?

…
So who’s to worry
If our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don’t you know this life goes on
And won’t you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain’t this life so sweet
…

‘The whole country got overpriced. Bloated. Swollen. It wasn’t predatory lenders. It was greedy, shortsighted homeowners. ’

What do you think? Agree? Disagree?

Then, he casually mentioned that the guests were old high school buddies and this was really important to him.

On the inside, our home is nice. On the outside… well, let’s just say we usually wait until the sun has set and our guests have had a glass or two (preferably three) of Chardonnay. We can’t afford landscaping so our yard is a grouping of well mowed weeds and raked dirt piles.

Before we went on this recovery from debt diet, we had planned to landscape our backyard and remodel our 50 year old kitchen. Take out another loan – it would have been so easy. But now, we’re living within our means and paying off debt. It will likely be another 5 years before we can pay cash.

It’s hard to deal with the pressures of keeping up with our peers. It’s hard to not feel a little embarrassed at our less than presentable yard (though to be fair, his friends had nothing but nice things to say).

Sometimes it’s hard not to feel frustrated but…

It’s not hard to feel relief from the lifting debt. Seeing we’re only about a year away from being debt free is like breathing again.

We don’t see each other often. Perhaps that’s why our marriage is so great. We don’t have time to fight – heck we’re just so darn excited to see one another we don’t really… um… talk much.

He took a rare three nights off last week and we went running and cycling together every day. We made dinner. We walked the dogs. We watched movies. We remembered what it was like to be married.

I couldn’t help but think about how wonderful it was to have him around – to see him relax, even for just a night or two. He must have been thinking the same thing. He said, ‘I want to work less and live my life more.’ He has decided to work 6 days per week and 2 nights per week – and yes, that’s a cut-back (he was working 6 days and 6 nights).

I can’t agree with him more. As he toils to pay our debt, I can’t help but wonder if our self-inflicted punishment of hard labor is worse than the crime of spending. I wonder if one day, we’ll look back and regret the time we missed when our life was just us. We can cover our bills plus some without the extra work so we’ve decided to slow down.

So… we will pay things off more slowly BUT I have my husband back – and I’ve missed him dearly.

A 7 pm bachelorette dinner time that coincided with a 7 pm baseball game start and the 7 pm Saturday night party crowd shot parking rates and traffic to a premium. Unable to find an overnight parking place, I parked in an hourly rate spot (a spot that makes more per hour than I do). All throughout dinner, I checked my watch thinking, ‘Tick tock goes the meter – and my $50 allowance.’

I ordered the cheapest item on the menu, a $9 greek wrap, and had 2 – $2 beers. I dropped in $20 to cover my meal.

$30 left in my wallet.

We went to a club where I used $6 from my ash tray to have a Corona with the girls. As I sat nursing my beer with ‘Bridesmaid’ bedazzled across the chest of my pink tank top, guy came up to me and asked me to dance, he mentioned it was his 21st birthday… which had me thinking, ‘What is the official definition of a Cougar? And dear Lord… I’m not one right?!?’

A few more hours passed and I realized that I could not afford $35 for the hotel. Parking costs had chewed threw my money. When I pulled out of the garage, the kind and generous parking man gave me a discount from $54 to $30. Maybe he saw the shock register on my face – or maybe it was because I had my car loaded with bridesmaids in the same pink tank tops giving him Colgate smiles while winking flirtatiously.

I survived the weekend on $56.

And… it wasn’t so bad.

My husband did an odd job fixing a sink and earned a crisp one hundred dollar bill. We decided to split the cash and use it this weekend. A ‘fair’ split would have been closer to 80 for him and 20 for me but he smiled and said, ‘Have fun’ while handing me a fifty (And that ladies…. is one of the millions of reasons why I love my man).

So, I’ve got to survive this weekend on $50…
$35 of which goes to a shared hotel with the bride to be.

It’s like going to the Cheesecake Factory and limiting yourself to 25 calories.

Should be interesting.

Financially, the smart thing would have been to keep my family a one dog family but every time I came home and saw my remaining dog mope around the house, I knew I couldn’t leave things the way they were. When he stopped eating and whined constantly, I was reduced to tears on a daily basis.

I spent a week searching shelters but couldn’t seem to find a dog that fit our dynamic. I don’t believe in buying dogs for short term commitments and knew bringing home anything but a perfect fit would be a bad idea. I decided to stop at one more, knowing if I didn’t find the right dog, I’d simply give up.

Then I met Hutch.

I was still in the habit at crying at the sight of dogs and sat on the floor thinking I’d never find another I could love at much as my last. Hutch took one look at me, crawled into my lap, and promptly fell asleep.

Needless to say, he came home with me.

Financially, I made a mistake. A dog is a financial responsibility – even if he is replacing another. Physically and emotionally, I did what my heart (any my other dog) needed.

If you see a redhead jogging down the street with two wagging tailed dogs and a grin the size of Texas… that’s probably me.

First off, I’d like to thank you for cashing my husband’s tuition check within 12 hours of receiving it. Who knew that was even possible? Though to be honest, I’m not quite sure why we pay two months in advance and are later reimbursed. It kinda sounds like a man I heard about… what’s his name? Ponzi?

Second, I recently received your request for an additional $150 per semester – as if the two thousand I just paid you was completely insufficient for a whopping six units… and let’s not discuss your $200 parking pass shall we? I was amused at the complete ambiguity as for the reasons why the additional funds were needed from all 30,000 or so students but I was NOT amused when I actually had to pay it. But hey, thanks for allowing me to defer this unexpected payment for three weeks. I guess that’s supposed to help me be happy about paying more and getting less? I have approximately $26 in my checking account. Clearly, I cannot spend $150 when I only have $26. Who do you think I am? The state of California?

Also, I want to thank you for delaying the receipt of my husband’s tuition funds for two months. Perhaps you are trying to help the business students perfect the art of living off ramen noodles and tuna and hone their negotiating skills with creditors?

When we called to check the status on the cash flow, you said the check was ‘in the mail’. 3 weeks have passed. Are the checks being personally delivered by a three legged dog on a skateboard? In short, in response to your request for additional funds…

The check is in the mail.

Sincerely,

The broke wife of a California college student

Well, I didn’t want to take an empty can of sunblock back to the store so I wrote an e-mail to Target. It was friendly and praising of their other products but asked for them to consider dropping or changing this particular product.

I didn’t expect to hear anything…

But I did.

Target wrote me an incredibly friendly e-mail and promised to look into my complaint. Two short days later, I received a full refund and yet another friendly letter in the mail.

I have always been a HUGE Target fan. They donate to local charities, have impressive customer service, and they save my budget every month. Add this surprisingly friendly response and…

Target, you have my lifetime stamp of approval.

A special thanks to Fern who let me know that, yes, it’s OK to complain sometimes.

The size four dress arrived for wedding number one and it fits perfectly… which of course means…

I’m in trouble. Sure, I can get the size two dress on, but it presents the very ‘minor’ problem of the inability to breathe.

So I have two options. Lose weight OR pay a small fortune to alter the dress for wedding number two. In light of my financial situation, I thought it best to lose some weight.

I have dieted exactly one time in my life and the diet lasted 4 hours before I broke down and ate a large order of carne asada fries. And it’s not that I haven’t needed to diet. I gained 20 pounds in college and kept the weight on for three years. But… self control isn’t my strong suit.

I’ve been using the Lose It! program I recommended in an earlier post and have been carefully monitoring my caloric intake. By dinner time, I’m left with a dismal 300 calories and my debate is usually a toss up between a green salad with goat cheese and a balsamic vinaigrette dressing or two glasses of wine. It’s not a tough guess as to which one regularly wins.

It’s been a week and all I can think about is food.

But I’m sticking with it…. at least for another four hours.

He did not get the government job.

Short Term Financial Effects:
We will be able to pay our bills at the same pace since he won’t have to take a large salary cut.

Long Term Financial Effects:
Possible unemployment in 6-8 months. No government pension and retirement healthcare.

We’re still positive. He’s working. I’m working. We’re paying our bills. We’re living below our means. The construction market has started to take an upward turn and his job has become a bit more stable. So, we went on a 20 mile bike ride, grilled some chicken, and had a glass of wine on the back patio.

In the big scheme of things… life is still pretty darn good.

Great. I’m going to fail this review – I thought

‘When you first interviewed with us, I told the committee that I could see you had a bright future. I put my neck on the line for you…’ he said.

And…

‘And I’m reaping the rewards. Your performance has been unparalleled. Never, have I given a probationary score this high’ he said while smiling.

There are five Rebekah’s in this department. Obviously you’re confused.

‘I have never seen such a high level of organization…’

You call it ‘organization’, my doctor calls it a case study in obsessive compulsive disorder

‘…You are well liked by your peers and HR has only praise for you…’

You’d be amazed at the power of homemade cookies and good old fashioned gratitude to others

‘…and you are always willing to put in extra time to get projects done.’

You fired someone… IN FRONT OF ME… if that doesn’t put a fire under someone’s pants, nothing will

In an environment of so much insecurity, it was nice to get a pat on the back. I didn’t think he had noticed – and was pleasantly surprised to realize he had. This review doesn’t guarantee my job (no one is guaranteed a job) but I’m glad to hear I’m doing something right.

Whew!

Camping allowed us the opportunity to cook our own food. We met up with friends before leaving and shopped for food together. We purchased only what we needed and divided the tab by 6. Each meal? Around $2-$3. We didn’t count this as an added expense since we used the money from our grocery budget – and actually spent less than we would have had we cooked for just the two of us at home. We brought a few bottle of wine and jugs of water from home. We did go out to dinner one night – to Carl’s Jr. – and we counted that in the $38 total spent.

Showers were 25 cents for 2 ½ minutes. I was more than willing to pay for warm water but my frugal husband showered in the cold shower by the beach for free. I’m not going to lie, it looked a little odd when he washed off his Irish Spring soap while surfers waited to rinse their boards.

When we booked the campsite 6 months ago, my husband cut some hefty branches off our trees. He stacked them along a shady side of our house for the last few months and we used them to fuel our campfire each night. People asked us why we were storing firewood when we don’t have a fireplace and we got more than one weird expression when we told them it was for our camping trip… in six months. But we saved a fortune by using a little elbow grease and cutting our own firewood. We didn’t have to buy any!

When it came to camping supplies, we didn’t have much. We own a tent and a portable grill but that’s about it. My brothers fiancé’s family is an experienced group of campers. Rather than purchase new items, we borrowed their shade tents, pots, pans, cups, games, and portable tables. One rule about borrowing – make sure you return the items cleaner than when you first received them and if you borrow something that requires any sort of fuel, fill it up before returning it. Also, return the item within a day or two after you come home.

The campsite was over an hour from our home. I wasn’t prepared for an added gas expense and was surprised when I realized… I didn’t have to be! We brought our bikes and traveled solely by ‘pedal power’ after we arrived. The truck stayed parked at the campsite and my car stayed home the entire week. With both of our cars parked, we saved money on gas!

So what did we spend the $38 on?

$18 on a game of golf at a beautiful municipal course.
$10 at Carl’s Jr. (I ordered a kids meal and he had a sandwich).
$10 on a t-shirt from an outlet store.

Sure, camping isn’t my vacation of choice, but I had a great time and spent far less money than I have ever spent on a weeklong vacation by the beach.

Our previous vacation trips were fun but the nasty ‘debt hangover’ when we came home always sucked (excuse my language, but I’m being dreadfully honest).

When we arrived home from beach camping, I flipped on my computer and closed my eyes after typing my password for online banking.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Why is it when you are broke and running the risk of overdrafts, the bank websites turn to sludge? It’s as if they get a sick satisfaction in making your pain last longer.

The screen finally popped up and… I screamed.

We only spent $38 for the week (I’ll update you later on how we shamelessly saved money in ridiculous ways).

I’m fairly certain we spend more than that when we aren’t on vacation.

Cheers to my first ‘debt hangover’ free vacation!

When my brothers (John & Mike) and I were 13 and 15, one of my dad’s oh so responsible employees showed us how to build a potato gun – because everyone knows the combination of pipe, potatoes, a bottle of WD-40, and a flame tool are landmark in safety and you should share them with teenagers.

We spent our afternoons launching the potatoes into targets… *cough* the pool deck… *cough* the new trees… *cough* the house siding… (sorry ‘bout those dents dad)

On a particularly hot day, John filled the chamber up with a combination of Rave hairspray and WD-40. The fumes filled the air as he quickly spun the cap on and pulled out the matches. He touched the flame to the side and a loud BOOM exploded into our ears. Mike and I looked down to see John on his back, his shoes smoldering, and the lawn burst into flames.

He hadn’t spun the cap on tightly and instead of launching the potato, the force rocketed the cap and the flame onto John’s shoed feet.

Responsibly… Mike and I laughed hysterically at John.

We laughed so hard, we overlooked the fact that the lawn was still on fire. About 60 seconds of laughing at John’s smoldering blackened shoes went by before we suddenly became aware that the fire was growing. If mom saw the fire, she’d never let us shoot another potato again (though I’m not sure she ever truly ‘approved’ it in the first place).

Mike ran for the hose while John stomped out what he could.

Fortunately they got the fire out (hence the reason they are such good firefighters… they started young) but there was still a huge problem…

There was a black spot of charred lawn directly in front of the screen door that mom surely wouldn’t miss. We couldn’t think of a believable story for the burn spot and we certainly weren’t going to tell the truth sooooo…

We dug out the lawn, tossed it across the fence, threw on some fresh dirt, then went inside and told mom the dogs had dug a patch of the lawn.

As for John’s shoes? ‘Pssshhh. Mom, that’s a fashion statement. Don’t you know style?!?!’

My best summer vacation memories were never about where we stayed or what kind of expensive things my parents bought, they were always about the fun times with my family.

Sure, we aren’t going somewhere nice this year, but we’re going together – and that’s the best part.

I excited he has made it this far. It’s good for him to know his value – even in a bad economy. If his journey ends here, he can feel good knowing he’s in that top 5% – and the only reason he’s here is because he’s incredibly hard working and dedicated to learning.

The debt we have been carrying has made us feel like failures. It has affected our self confidence and made us believe we are incapable of doing anything. Digging our way out has helped to make us feel like we are more than just a number.

It’s nice to feel valued.

I am very disappointed.

This event led to the following changes:

1. More involvement by both of us. Often in relationships, one person manages the finances. When things don’t go well and money is too tight, this person feels the stress, the pressure, and the responsibility for the mess. We have both decided to dedicate and hour each week to review each transaction. Now we have more checks and balances on each others spending – otherwise, we’ll have another bad month.

2. We are refocusing our goals and setting rewards. Our next payoff is still a ways away and we’re getting frustrated and bored. We decided to give ourselves something to look forward to after our next payoff. It’s nothing huge, maybe a dinner out or a trip to the theater, but rewards between payoffs has become something we need to stay motivated.

3. Reconsidering our numbers. We went back to make sure our numbers were working for our ever changing budget. We’ve been underspending on gas and overspending on miscellaneous necessities (car repairs, house repairs, etc.). We decided to adjust our numbers and perhaps pay a little less on our credit card so we can stop panicking when things aren’t balancing. Leaving the numbers the same would be great, but it’s obviously not working and it’s causing frustration.

4. We have decided to spread our focus. It’s easy to let finances consume our thoughts and lives. Rather than let this stress grow, we decided to let ourselves enjoy other things in life. Running, swimming, yoga, gardening groups, and organizing the garage help to keep our mind free of the finance clutter in our brains.

When there are long distances between payoffs, it’s important to work at what is frustrating you. You can’t solve everything, and it will be painful, but taking steps to at least reduce stress will help to prevent burnout. I’d rather take things a bit more slowly than give up entirely.

What have you done to motivate yourself and prevent burnout?

In short? A lot!

A few benefits of exercising (tip of the iceburg)?
Reduced blood pressure
Reduced feelings of depression and anxiety
Helps to control weight
Helps to build and maintain healthy joints, muscles, and bones
Reduced risk of diabetes

What do these have to do with finances?
Have you had to pay for doctors and medication recently?!? Ouch!! Also, exercise helps you sleep, puts you in a better mood, helps your self confidence, and gives you energy – all very important things in the work world where your paycheck comes from! Plus, people with a BMI of less than 22 get sick less often and miss less work.

I’ve been fortunate to have been physically active and healthy for most of my life. Running a marathon is just another way to push myself and stay active. Sure my sore legged walk makes Frankenstein look like a graceful ballerina but it’s important to encourage you to gain control in your finances AND in your health – they are closely connected.

Tomorrow is Saturday, take a walk with your dog, play with your kids, or ride your bike. Take a break from staring at that checkbook and balancing numbers to get some fresh air.

It’s good for you.

Some free sites to help you out?

www.Mapmyride.com
I use this site to calculate mileage and read elevation changes on my bike rides/runs.

www.Mypyramid.gov
This free site helps to guide you on better eating habits.

I’m warning you… these sites can be ADDICTIVE!!

What is your favorite FREE health related site?

10 years later…

I do not feel graceful, powerful, excited, or focused.

I ran for 45 minutes this morning and looked more like a stumbling 3 legged dog than a sophisticated runner. But then again, that’s how I felt when drafting our first budget. I’m always a little awkward at first.

Still running, still budgeting, still pushing.

According to HR, he was one of over 1,000 applicants for that position.

I am confident in his abilities and his references but I’m not expecting him to get the job.

I knew the job market was bad in San Diego… I just didn’t know how bad.

I am more thankful now than ever that we are both employed.

I also told myself I’d never get out of debt.

As I watch my debt amount fall, I’ve become more confident in my ability to do my list of impossibilities. I see that I am capable of doing more than I ever thought achievable. Suddenly, a marathon looks like something that is hard… but something I can do.

I told my husband I was planning to start running and the marathon I chose to run to next year (one of the most grueling marathons in San Diego) and he said, ‘Are you sure?’

And I am.

I have just shy of one year to prepare for my 26 mile ‘impossibility’. I guess it’s time to say goodbye to my jelly donut and rolled taco diet and say hello to my tennis shoes.

Isn’t it time you stretched yourself in more than your finances? And is paying off debt giving anyone else the ‘I can do anything’ thoughts?

As we started working through the details, I couldn’t help but wonder… maybe rednecks have it right. Here is how we have prepared so far and the current expenses:

I threw together an online invitation for our friends (free):

It’s time to round up yer cousin and yer sister from their mobile home… we’re havin’ our first annual REDNECK PARTY!!

So, hop in your 1987 Toyota Tercel and git over here!

We borrowed some used hubcaps from the local tire store to play games with and use for decorations (free).
We are wearing our own clothes (circa 1980 – also free).
We borrowed a wheel barrow from our neighbor for wheelbarrow races (free).
We pulled an old rope from the garage for the lasso competition (free).
We are borrowing new toilet seats from my husband’s plumbing company to play redneck horseshoes (free).
We rented country CD classics like Gretchen Wilson, Confederate Railroad, Kris Kristopherson, and Merle Haggard from the library (free).

So far, our expenses are zero! Perhaps we should rename the party ‘Working toward our debt free goal and having fun at the same time’. I’ll be sure to toss some pictures up here next Monday after the party.

Any ideas on cheap gatherings? How about additional games for our redneck party?

I can breathe a temporary sigh of relief.

I keep hearing about layoffs across the country. I lost my job when the business closed 7 months ago, my husband’s company is on the brink, and my new job is unstable. My father and brother are without jobs. Are we just in bad industries or are you struggling to keep your job too?

We argued about who should pay for groceries, who should pay for dinner, and who should pay for everything in between. I hated asking him for his half of the rent each month. He was my husband – not my roommate. It finally came to the breaking point when he couldn’t afford rent and we had to clean out our savings and use our credit card to get by. We opened a joint checking account the very next month.

We learned to work beside each other and the arguing stopped.

We made our mistakes – financing nice cars, charging vacations to credit cards, and remodeling our bathroom on credit – but now that we’re working to become debt free, we are partners in the fight. I wish someone had told me early on that working together as a couple was a necessity for a good marriage and good financial health. As I listen to my co-worker talk about his wife ‘owing’ him money for tires on her car, I couldn’t help but think… ‘No wonder he’s on his third marriage.’

So how do we do it? We each get a $3 daily allowance in cash each week. I don’t care what he spends his on, and in return, he doesn’t care what I spend mine on. We usually spend the money on work clothes or a bi-weekly dinner out together. This week, we split the cost of a silly $15 video game we both would enjoy and a $25 set of solar lit pavers for our garden. (And yes I know, $3 may be more or less than you spend, but it works for us)

My husband and I rarely argue about money now that we’ve enacted the $3 daily allowance rule, but we still fight about very serious issues… like the direction of the toilet tissue.

Do you keep your money separate? Or do you have a joint account? And how much do you allow each other to ‘blow’ each day?

I’ve been in perfect health for more than 6 months – not even a sore throat to annoy me. Now that the cold and flu season is over… I’ve come down with a nasty bug. Heaven forbid I get sick when everyone else does. Now I’m the freak show who’s sick in JUNE.

I got sick yesterday afternoon. I felt awful at work and before leaving, I told my boss, ‘Hey, I’m not feeling very well. I’m going to drink some tea and get to bed early. Have a good night.’

Everyone knows the cardinal rule of making two day weekends to three day weekends… fake sick on Thursday afternoon and call in sick on Friday. Er… so I’ve heard.

Terrified that my boss will think I’m lying, I’m forced to go to work this morning even though I feel like I’ve been hit by a giant rotating ferris wheel…multiple times. I’m not one of those people who look adorable when I’m sick. My eyes get red and puffy, my skin gets itchy, my nose turns pepto bismol pink, and I’m embarrassed to go out in public.

Fortunately, this should work well for me in this particular situation. I’m going to work… and I hope to be back home and in bed within an hour.

Friday, I wasn’t ‘feeling it’. Late nights paired with high stress had me pooped by Friday and I hit the snooze button far more than I should have.

I rolled out of bed, threw my nappy unwashed hair into a pony tail, and put on my uniform without ironing it. I caught the train to work and arrived my usual 45 minutes early – 30 of which I should have spent getting ready and ironing at least my shirt. I sluggishly walked into the elevator, hit the floor button, and leaned my sleepy head against the wall. Just as the doors started to close, a hand slipped through the doors and in walked the equivalent of the company CEO.

I’ve met the guy approximately 2 times in the 6 months I’ve worked there.

He gave me a slow once over – and it wasn’t because I looked smoking hot in my uniform. He looked at my crumpled pants, my against policy un-tucked shirt, and said a very crisp, ‘Well… good morning.’

I heard ‘No Scrubs’ by TLC blaring on my brain radio.

I’ve always been told to dress for the job you want and not for the job you have. I’m fairly certain I will be demoted to janitorial staff by tomorrow.

Never again folks. Never again will I dress like that.

What happened to the good ol’ days of Nintendo and Sega glassy eyed kids? Now they are dancing, singing, and playing instruments. It’s as if the Wii transformed our family into a modern day Brady Bunch band. Ugh.

I rented the Sonic vs. Mario Summer Olympics game from the library. I’m pretty sure I would have expelled less energy actually competing IN the Olympics. Real swimming isn’t nearly as difficult as Wii swimming. Trust me… I can’t use my arms today.

And with the invention of Rock Band, I can’t just sing Aerosmith, I have to sing Aerosmith AND play a guitar. My voice has joined my arms in the ‘not usable’ category.

I think these games were secretly invented by parents who would like to temporarily disable their children. You can’t talk back after losing your voice to Paramore – or maybe that’s just me.

I wish I could say my nieces and nephews suffered from the same painful muscle strain I have today but… I had so much fun playing that I didn’t exactly let them play. When they started crying about the unfairness of it all, I could only say, ‘Back off shorty! Aunti Beks has to finish the last rift of Salt N Pepa so she can win a new tour bus for the band.’

The best things in life are free.

We went over budget by $90 this weekend.

I wish I could say it was on something important like an investment, a donation to the cancer society, or giving to help a military family but…

The $90 was spent on 5 flats of chicken thighs, 3 bags of charcoal, 4 fruit pies, green salad… and a round of golf.

My husband threw two hefty BBQ’s this weekend and went golfing with his brothers.

Fortunately, we both worked extra hours last week so we didn’t fall behind – in fact, we still came out ahead. Sometimes, inviting friends over to enjoy smoked chicken and homemade pies is worth it – especially when your BBQ is interrupted by an unexpected 20 minute fireworks show.

We sang Livin’ on a Prayer by Bon Joni while playing Rock Band late into the night.

I’ve been wonderfully budget conscious for months; I hope you can forgive this exception.

How was your holiday? Any budget hiccups?

I hate our couches and I think they are ugly.

This week, my husband did what good husbands do – he attempted to solve my dilemma of ‘seating space’. He came home with a behemoth of a recliner and said, ‘Look honey! More seats!! Can you believe someone was going to throw this away?!’

I bit my tongue before a ‘Yes’ slipped out. Instead, I said ‘Wow hon, it’s… wow.’

‘And they have TWO! I’m picking the other one up tomorrow. How awesome is that?! Seats!!’

He happily jumped in the chair and reclined, a big grin spreading across his face.

How could I be mad or ungrateful? He solved my ‘seating dilemma’. Sure I have an ugly blue giant in my living room (err… soon to be two), but I’ve learned to take his efforts for what they are. That ugly chair is a monument to the fact that my husband listens to me and he’s doing his best to make my life easier… without spending a dime.

I’m going to stop whining about the sofas for a while. Who cares about sofas when I have a man like that?

But then again…

This is the same guy whose ‘sound judgment’ created the likes of Junior and Jingle All the Way.

And now, he wants to prolong it for several years through a special statewide ballot?

When I make less, I have to spend less. I can’t demand more money. Why can my state live financially irresponsible in a way that I can’t?

I didn’t give my approval on May 19th. I have to figure out how to survive on my new tiny salary; can’t I demand the same for my taxes?

Is this just a California thing or are you spending a couple extra Benjamin Franklin’s a month on taxes?

My husband loves this system. He turns on the hose for a few minutes while he eats breakfast and turns it off before he leaves for work.

Or should I say… he lovED this system.

I came home from work on Thursday and heard water running. Confused, I headed to the backyard and was greeted with a mass of water and a geyser like spray erupting from our hose bibb.

Turns out, hubby darling forgot to turn the system off and the pressure built until the backflow device exploded. This water mistake will likely add $150 to our water bill.

To make matters worse, my ever so annoying dogs like to kill every living thing in their territory. The new lake in my backyard caused dead, tailless, lizard and mice carcasses to float to the surface. I guess I can be grateful my dogs aren’t bigger. I don’t think I could have held my gag reflex quite so well at the sight of bucktoothed bloated squirrels.

To the state of California – I am sorry for wasting our precious resource. I have decided to make amends and cut my already short 5 minute showers to 3 minutes. So, when you see me… and I stink… remember, I had a choice to assault your nose or assault my wallet. In these desperate economic times, I chose your nose. Please forgive me.

And yes, we learned from this. Thanks to a $30 timer, this won’t happen again.

What was your biggest home accident?

Realizing my planting skills barely rivaled a 4th grader, I sought planter packs designed for small children. I spent $10 on supplies, read the directions (twice), and gently planted the seeds.

According to the seed packets, sprouts would appear in 10 days.

2 weeks passed and there was no green in sight.

After another long week, I finally gave in after day 24 and threw the sproutless pots into the green recycle bin.

A few days ago, while trimming some hedges, I opened the bin, tossed the branches, and noticed something funny…

Every single pot I had angrily thrown away was sprouting with life in my recycle bin. Plants are safer in my trashcan than they are with me.

I can’t afford a landscaper… but my husband is hereby the official garden keeper in this house. I’m sticking to what I’m good at – cleaning!

Stupid Plants.

This is when I made Mistake #1 – Recommending this before actually trying it.

And followed it with Mistake #2 – Not understanding the actual size of ‘1 cubic yard’ of mulch.

$6.00 at your local garden supply will purchase a bag, maybe two at most, of mulch. I didn’t think it was unreasonable to assume $6.00 would stretch to three, maybe four, bags at the greenery.

My husband asked, ‘Two yards will fit in my truck right?’

We made Mistake #3 when not stopping to ponder the question mark at the end of her response, ‘Uhhhhh. I guess?’

Mistake #4 was not asking ‘Why are you starting up a tractor?’

Two tractor loads later, I was shocked at the distance $6 stretched.

For the first few years, we didn’t need the money to clear our bills and we certainly enjoyed using it on dinners out and hotel stays. When I lost my job last year, the rent from our two roommates was vital in keeping our heads above water. Sure, it’s awkward to be nearly 30 and referring to ‘my roommates’, but it’s significantly less awkward than saying, ‘My debt collector’, ‘My bankruptcy attorney’, or ‘My foreclosure officer’.

If times are tough, maybe roommates should be a consideration.

Fortunately we haven’t had a bad experience yet, but this is a very serious decision and should be heavily thought out. We’ve stuck by some clear, yet simple, guidelines:

1.) Write a lease agreement – even if (and especially if) it’s a friend and you only expect them to stay a month or two.
2.) Have very clear rules – i.e. don’t go into my bedroom, don’t eat my food, don’t leave messes in common areas.

Some recommendations for roommates:

Firefighters: Their 24 hour shifts give you some much needed space – plus they are good to have around when you accidentally set something on fire.

Guys with girlfriends: I saw our roommate’s rent check more than I saw him.

Brothers/Sisters: You survived growing up with them, what are a few more years? Plus, it’s easier to yell at family about dirty dishes in the sink.

Some people you should never consider:

Perfect Strangers: I’d rather my family not appear on Dateline talking about how the new roommate seemed so nice… until he killed me.

College Girls: I lived through that once and it was enough. More drama than Jerry Springer.

College Boys: Not a lot of drama but I was over keg stands and frat parties eight years ago.

People with animals and/or children: Who needs pee on the floor and chewed shoes – oh, and animals are destructive too.

Do any of you have roommates? How is it working out?

So here’s an open note to my mother – and I’ll try my best not to sound like a Boyz to Men song.

Mom,

Thank you for teaching me that children don’t need money to be happy. You made sure I knew love from my family was worth far more than the cash so frequently doled out to my friends from their uninvolved parents. I had the happiest childhood (and heck, adulthood) a kid could ask for and it was never because you showered me with the finest things in life – you knew you couldn’t buy joy. You showed me love, compassion, kindness, and at times… the back of your hand when I deserved it.

Thank you for teaching me responsibility. You didn’t teach me how to get into a financial mess, but you taught me how to own up to my mistakes and pay for them no matter how much it hurts. And speaking of taking responsibility… um… yes, I was the one who left the candle burning and set the counter on fire 11 years ago. Sorry about that.

Thank you for your faith in me. When we went on that college campus tour and I saw the $26,000 a year price tag, I told you it was a nice dream but it would never happen. You looked at me like I was insane and spent the next few hours with the financial aid department. They told me I had to keep a nearly perfect GPA and you told me you knew I could do it… and I did… but only because you believed in me more than I believed in myself.

I wish every kid could have a mother like you. The world would be a great place.

I love you mom

I excitedly went to our local nursery and realized the 15 bucks I budgeted for landscaping each month would allow me to complete my dream backyard sometime in 2037.

Um. Someone forgot to tell me how expensive plants are.

Disappointed, I went to work and lamented to a co-worker about my landscaping situation. She sweetly offered me some cuttings of her plants – several of which were on the list from the landscape architect. While we were talking, another one of my co-workers walked by and joined the conversation. He suggested I contact local garden clubs including water saving cactus clubs. He happened to be moving and offered to bring in several of his plants that matched my list. Let’s just not tell these generous co-workers about my history of plant killing OK?

Inspired, I can home and did some research and thought I’d share it with you.

I found several garden clubs – some of which offer spring plant sales.

Our local college offers a degree program in Ornamental Horticulture. Students grow plants and sell them for less than half of what they retail for at nurseries.

Our local dump (should I be politically correct and call it a ‘Solid Waste Disposal Site’?) offers high quality mulch in several different colors and sizes. If you are willing to load it yourself, you can save a fortune.

And perhaps the most odd place to find plants… our local 99 cent store!

Any ideas I missed? Where do you get your plants?

But I guess that’s part of a journey.  It can’t be all fun right?

I worked a tough job for a ‘big box store’ to pay the bills while applying for any decent job available. I finally landed a great job in December. 

I’ve struggled with unexpected expenses – like a monthly $150 property tax hike and a 1% sales tax hike…

I’ve made lifestyle changes – the biggest one is my use of public transportation…

I’ve struggled with monotony…

And I paid off my car.

Here is where I am on my debt journey.  Somehow, we’ve squeezed $10,000 toward our debt – $30,000 to go.  Sure I’d like it to be more, but $10,000 isn’t a bad number.

I can’t wait to finish this journey and finally become…

DEBT FREE!!

I smiled and said, “The machine isn’t reliable. I am, so they send me out here.”

One of the men looked down at my dirty hands and scuffed tennis shoes and said, “That’s when I’d tell the boss to take his job and shove it. I’d never push shopping carts for a living.”

The other man laughed and said, “Oh geez, no!”

They pushed their cart toward me and left. I stacked ten carts in a line and began to push them to the cart corral. As the tears started to trickle down my face, I couldn’t help but think that those words were probably something I would have said before I lost my job. I have a university degree with high honors and over a decade of management experience. I would have never seen myself at this point either.

I stopped, leaned my head on the cart handle (I know – germs – but I was distraught), and thought, ‘I have two options. I can either quit and go home OR I can bust my butt and get a paycheck – tiny or otherwise.’

I wish I could say it was an easy decision – but I had my head on that darn handle for at least 5 minutes.

I finally wiped my face and got back to work.

If this is what it takes to pay my bills, THIS is what it takes.

Our successes and failures are based on our attitudes. We can give up and fail… or we can decide that enough is enough and bear down for a fight.

I’m ready to fight.

Are you with me?