“Good Info” Archive
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Through a series of tragic events, my dad’s sister has entered her late 70′s without any of her 5 children willing or able to take care of her (2 passed away and the other 3 for unknown reasons). My Dad and his sis are not close and the fact that she ended up retiring to SA after visiting here only once from the Bronx, NY (where Dad is originally from) is still somewhat a mystery. I met her one time prior to her moving here when I was in the 8th grade. Without sounding harsh, I have to say that I am not particularly close to my Aunt. I do, along with the rest of my immediate family, want her to be taken care of and in a good situation. Over the course of the 15 years she has lived in Texas life has brought her unthinkable challenges. The worst of these challenges was the loss of the three family members she moved to Texas with…in three consecutive Decembers. She lost her husband, her daughter and then her son one after the other…each December for three years.
For the next few years my elderly parents did their best to care for my aging aunt. She was not in good health and the stress was taking its toll on my sweet parents. My two sisters and I along with my parents then handled another few years working all together to get her what she needed and to keep her in her own home. Ultimately we had to move her to a “senior apartment” where she lived well for about 5 years. Then–last year–things got to the point that we knew we had to put her in a nursing home. I hold power of attorney to handle financial and legal issues and I knew it fell to me to make this tough decision. I say tough not because my aunt was objecting (really–she was pretty cooperative but sadly somewhat unable to fully understand) but instead because of my own mother. At 80 years old herself the task of putting a loved one in a nursing home while facing her own physical limitations was very stressful for my mom. We all got through it but not without a lot of tears, frustration, disagreements….etc.
Aside from the emotional impact that this had, I was ASTONISHED at the financial impact! My aunt worked much of her life as a Registered Nurse and her husband worked for the City of New York. Her monthly income was right around $2500 a month and as some of you know I’m sure…that won’t touch the monthly cost of a nursing home. I was forced to do a spendown of her accounts so that she could receive assistance for her long term care. She didn’t have a lot of money in her accounts and no longer owned property but it was SO SAD and felt just SO WRONG to have to handle it this way. After months and months of getting everything in order things are okay now and she is well taken care of and doing much better overall. The kids and I visit as often as possible. I think this is both good for the kids but I also love brightening the faces of the nursing home residents!
So I am writing this post because this experience made me stop and think about long term care. I have done no research at this point but am curious if any of you have insight on the topic of purchasing a long term care insurance policy. I’m not going to run out and get this tomorrow but after seeing what this did to my aunt and to my parents (thankfully they DO have their long term care plans in place…as well as their funeral arrangements DONE…thank you Dad for saving your five children that stress!), I just want a timeline in my head at this point. Feedback welcome! 
I’m looking forward to Friday night! 20 years ago that would have had an entirely different meaning…but THIS Friday night will be spent at a coupon class! After a post on meal making and grocery shopping, A reader suggested the $5 Dinner Mom website and so I stopped by to check it out a few weeks ago. I took it as a sign that right there on the welcome page there was a San Antonio offering! The thought of couponing stresses me out BUT I really think I could get into it! My fear–quite honestly–is that I will get TOO into it! I tend to do things in extremes. My friend from work who was doing great with her couponing but has fallen off a bit in recent weeks is joining me and you would think we were going to some crazy “girls’ night out” with the way we are talking about this thing! I’m looking forward to learning a lot and then putting the new skills to work. I’m already seeing major dents in my grocery spending just with the little bit of thought I’m putting into things. I DO think that I’m going to have to become proficient at stockpiling laundry detergent bc the homemade brand is not getting rave reviews from the fam. Actually, that’s not correct…I notice no problems with it, the kids haven’t said a word but the husband is saying a lot WITHOUT a lot of words. Have I mentioned that he’s slow to accept change? Love that guy! I think I saw him sneak in a bottle of Tide the other day and he might be hiding it for his personal use only!
Here’s the link to what we are doing on Friday night. If you live in the Atlanta, GA area there’s one there next week. I’ll report back with details.
http://www.5dollardinners.com/2012/03/san-antonio-coupon-class.html
For those who have missed it, you may also be interested in Our history is never far away — Part I and Our history is never far away — Part II
After 2 years of separate and individual accounts we had an “a-ha!” moment in December of 2011 and by January 1, 2012 we agreed to combine everything–the good, the bad and the ugly. SO, it is to be expected that we will have these growing pains. We DO need help finding and maintaining open dialogue so that issues don’t fester and then overflow in a bad way. It is a matter of trial and error to a great extent and we have to be patient and give ourselves a break. Let’s face it–there is a reasongthat a full 70% of second marriages don’t make it…the stress is nothing that can be explained until you experience it. I believe we can make a choice each and every day to respect, honor and celebrate one another instead of engaging in negative behavior based in resentment. When we do that, we see the beautiful gift that we are to one another.
We are adjusting to a new way of thinking. It can be very frustrating to stop and think about what we spend when we’ve never done that before. That is not to say that stopping and thinking are bad things but instead NEW things. Change is uncomfortable! Change takes thought. I think that sometimes it is easier to criticize the other for a perception that they are unwilling or slow to change instead of just focusing on our individual shortcomings.
Sigh. It’s just hard work. That’s all it boils down to…but the rewards are worth it! I can’t wait to look back and see how far we’ve come!
Does anyone have experience with a produce or grocery co-op? A friend at the office–who I’ve nominated and elected to be my debt reduction buddy–found a local co-op that we are going to give a try. We split a “contribution” to be picked up on Saturday the 24th. In addition to the standard $15 produce basket (which has 50% veggies, 50% fruit) we also got a “Mexican produce” basket for $8.50 that they say should include lots of veggies to go with all of that hamburger meat I purchased…also to share. Finally we are splitting 19 pounds of whole pineapples for a total $12. So after a one time new user fee of $3.00 and a processing fee of $1.50 we each paid $20. The kids will definiely eat 9.5 pounds of pineapple so that will be a great, inexpensive snack. I am thankful that the boys are not picky so even if there is something in the box that we aren’t accustomed to, they will be open to trying it out. I also like the challenge to the more finicky eater of the bunch. Oh and let’s not forget the cooking challenge! That sounds fun too. Thank goodness for googling recipes!
We are “contributing” to Bountiful Baskets http://bountifulbaskets.org/ Produce is definitely expensive at our regular grocery store so this is worth a try. They also offer what sound like delicious breads but we didn’t try those this time.
Anyway, give me your thoughts…share the pros and cons and definitely warn me of any drawbacks you’ve experienced!
Nothing new on the job announcement but tomorrow is looking goodend…but my hair looks fabulous with the John Frieda hair color! So if I don’t get the job at least my hair looks nice.
This is going to sound crazy. As I was leaving the office today, I received an email with a comment from a reader. I took a look at the brief comment and it was suggesting I visit www.debtinfocus.org. From memory, the comment said they weren’t sure if the website had been mentioned before and it was helpful to set out a plan of attack. Before I left the parking garage, I quickly visited the site on my phone and it looked very user friendly on its opening page. I drove home and after a few hours I sat down to explore the site further. Here’s the crazy part—I could not and cannot find the comment from the reader! Maybe this is user error as it IS Friday and I am fatigued but there was no email, no comment on the blog itself and then no comment on the site I access the blog through! I felt like I was and feel like I am losing my mind! Thankfully, I had accessed the site on my phone so I was able to find the website address again.
I want to know who gave me this tip so I can thank you! OR if another reader locates the comment let me know where! I can hardly contain my excitement with this fabulous find of a debt payoff website. I’m sure many of you have seen similar ones but for this rookie debt reducer, this is awesome! Now…it wasn’t without pain as I had to input ALL of the information on ALL of my debt. Honestly, that’s like poking myself in the eye with a stick (and I know some of you will say “IT SHOULD HURT…WE HOPE IT DID HURT…YOU IRRESPONSIBLE MESS OF A BLOGGER!”) to go through all of those numbers again. BUT what a great exercise that yielded results for me to get my mathematically challenged brain around! It will generate all sorts of reports for you to consider for your approach to paying things off. It has the standard “minimum payment until well after you are dead” plan…the “pay the highest interest card first” plan…the “pay the lowest balance first” plan…AND then you can input what extra dollar amount you can put toward debt each month to see the impact of your efforts. It will also provide a printable 12-month payment plan telling you exactly what amount to pay to each debt. Now, maybe this is what some of you are already doing on your own by creating your own spreadsheets (my husband was very interested in discussing what went into creating the program to make all of that information come out in the end….soooooo not my thing to know the details behind it…) but I am amazed! I now have several scenarios to consider and chew on. I KNOW this will relieve many of you as even without a direct mention for a few days, I ”hear” many of you shaking your computers and yelling “CLAIRE! WHAT IS THE PLAN?!” I will figure out how to post a payment plan once I learn for sure what that April raise nets us.
Which reminds me…no announcement on the promotion. It has been 8 weeks now since the interview process began. I think we are all beyond obsessing about it and will almost be surprised when they do announce it b/c we’ve all put it on the back burner just to get through our regular work duties!
So, thank you Mystery Commenter! That little tip was a goldmine for this weary brain. I feel energized and motivated by what I saw on the timeline. If it goes according to plan, I will have my debt paid off before I am looking at nursing homes to check into for my golden years.
I’ve taken some advice from other comments and have come up with some possible additional sources of income. It will take some sacrifices of time but nothing so detrimental that we can’t cope. That’s one of the few perks to divorce…we are kid free every other weekend so we have time we can use to increase income. I’ll fill you in on those things soon!
Have a great weekend!!!
UPDATE: I just found it! Thank you Lys. Although the info is not showing up on your comment under “Perspectives” but I found it in my email! Forgot to mention this website is sponsored by the Credit Union Association. You don’t have to input any personal info and help is offered, but not pushed. Totally anonymous! And yes, we do bank at a Credit Union. Love my credit union!
I was reading my Cosmopolitan magazine… er, um, I mean, I was reading a respectable magazine, like, Smart Money. Yeah. Smart Money.
Anyway, in Cosmo – er, Smart Money – they share money saving tips each month. Most stuff is common sense like keeping your tires inflated to save gas or telling you to shop around for travel deals, but this month they recommended a website called Decide.com.
I’m not a fan of promoting other websites – I mean really, I want you to stay HERE on mine – but this one actually seemed helpful. The site is meant for folks looking to buy cameras, computers, phones, etc. but aren’t sure if a new model is coming out soon.
I tried it out by checking the iPad. I’ve heard rumors on all my tech podcasts about a release date in March. Sure enough, the website said to wait on purchasing an iPad right now and gave the rumored release date in March.
The best option is to buy a nice used model, but for those who need the latest for work, this may be a good resource to help make sure you get the greatest value at the right time in the ever changing technology world. Plus, it will also help those looking for a used gadget know when there may be a flood in the market from folks who are upgrading.
Let’s face it, there are bad people in the world. No, I’m not talking about the producers of the Real Housewives series, I’m talking about thieves. With the holidays rolling around, there are more opportunities to lose your wallet, or worse, have it stolen.
I had my wallet stolen 10 years ago when I stupidly left it in my car. Fortunately the thief didn’t use any of the debit cards but what would happen if he/she did? What would I be responsible to pay? All this time, I thought I wouldn’t be responsible for anything. But did you know that your responsibility changes with each passing day?
Reporting your loss before the debit/ATM* card is used is best. You are not liable for ANY charge. If reported within 2 business days after the theft and after the card has been used, you can keep your share of the loss to $50. Don’t realize it for more than 2 days? You may be having to pony up $500 big ones! Wait 60 days? You may be on the line for EVERYTHING.
Read HERE for more info.
In short, check your account balance often. It could save you $500!
*Rules for credit cards are different, but we all know you shouldn’t be carrying those anyway!!
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My Debt
- Original Debt: $97,293.06
- Paid: $1,927.89
- Remaining: $95,365.17
- Emergency Fund: $1100
- Broken Down
- Line of Credit 2: $0.00
- Line of Credit 1: $0.00
- Credit Card 1: $0.00
- Credit Card 2: $245.00
- Credit Card 3: $405.00
- Credit Card 6: $1,785.00
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- Consolidation Loan: $11,000.00
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- Auto Loan 1: $16,093.00
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- Auto Loan 2: $25,064.00
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