Anyway, I’m old school. I write checks to pay bills.

Yes, I know you can pay bills online.

I’m a nerd who likes writing checks.

I wrote a check to our utility company for about $60 and it hasn’t been cashed yet. No biggie right? Except, I wrote the check just over SIX months ago. I called about three months ago to make sure the payment was applied to my balance and it was… but the check remains un-cashed.

The friendly customer service person said my account was in good standing but when I asked her when the check would be cashed, she said to keep waiting.

So here we are, inching toward month SEVEN, and I’m confused as to what to do. Do I call the utility company and offer another check? Or do I lean back, kick my feet up, and figure it’s their loss?

What would you do?

*On a side note, this isn’t the first time this has happened to me. I paid another bill and more than a year went by. They never cashed the check and would not accept another payment because their system would not handle ‘double’ payments.

I wasn’t surprised to hear suicide rates have increased since the recession began. Money troubles can steer a huge part of our lives. Throw in the stress of holidays and it can be too much for some.

If you are concerned that someone you know may be considering ending their life, check out the Mayo clinic for advice.

Let’s keep an eye out for others. I’d prefer not to see them on a bridge over the next few weeks.

I was petrified.

Then I woke up with a gasp.

That’s what I get for reading ‘Smart Money’ magazine before bed.

My reason for thinking this?

My sisters have made it look like a cake walk.

The problem?

I’m realizing, being married and childless while working a ton is WAY easier when it comes to finances. I didn’t have time to spend money. Don’t get me wrong. I am absolutely enjoying every single moment off work with my son but… I need to get out. And ‘getting out’, especially in the heat when I can’t go walk at a park, means walking in an enclosed shopping mall. Fortunately I’m still carrying 9 extra pounds (ugh) and I refuse to buy clothing at a size I don’t plan on staying, but I could see the whole ‘stay at home mom’ idea being very dangerous for my finances.

For those who have stay at home parenting down pat…

what on earth do you do when it’s too hot or too cold for free outdoor activities?

I decided to share an article from WalletPop to make up for it. Aaron Crowe wrote about 10 offbeat ways to be frugal and *gasp*, I liked it. Some suggestions were actually helpful! I particularly liked the way he said, ‘frugal is still the new black.’

That’s right folks, he said we’re cool.

Check out the article here.

1. Hold the mother of all garage sales.

The only thing left to sell in our garage is the actual garage… and I tried.

2. Quit smoking.

Easy. Well… only because I never started.

3. Tame your driving addiction.

Sure it triples my commute time, but I leave my car at home on a regular basis.

4. Buy used.

From clothes to books to cars, I haven’t been the first owner of much since we went on our debt diet.

5. Become a homebody. Consider the library for books, music and movies.

I can’t believe she shared the library tip!! That was MY secret!

6. Cut your housing expenses. Consider renting out a room.

We’ve had roommates for…ever.

7. Cut up your credit cards. Build an emergency fund first to handle most unexpected expenses.

Done. Well… again.

Radical? I don’t think so. Have you discovered a REAL radical way to save cash?

Here’s the funny part…

I attended community college prior to moving on to a private university.

Obviously I’m not the expert but let me tell you why I absolutely agree with Zac (obviously not all community colleges are the same as ours):

1. Our state college and our community college shared more than half of the same instructors – who taught the same classes at both. The difference? I paid $60 while my state friends paid $580.

2. The class sizes were significantly smaller at the community college vs. the state college. All of my teachers knew my name.

3. San Diego State University, our local state college, is notorious for its impossible acceptance standards. BUT, if you attend the local community college for two years, you are guaranteed a spot. While your perfect GPA valedictorian student can’t get in, my average GPA husband is registering for classes.

4. According to Bissonnette, students who transfer from community college to a four year university are more likely to graduate than those who started in university their freshman year.

5. Best of all, my student loans amounted to $15,000 instead of $30,000 and my diploma from my private university looks exactly the same as someone who attended all four years. There isn’t an asterisk on my diploma saying, ‘We only vouch for half her education.’

That’s just my experience… what’s yours?

My husband hasn’t paid a bill since 2004.

Don’t get me wrong. Up until recently, my husband was involved in the decision making. I was simply responsible for organizing how bills were paid. We have always worked our finances together – especially after deciding to pay off debt.

In January, my husband started taking more units in school while still working a full time job with side jobs. In June, he signed up for 5 hour night classes and when he isn’t studying, he’s working. Understandably, actively participating in finances isn’t possible anymore.

I didn’t think it would bother me. I’m a nerd. I live for Excel spreadsheets and I balance my checkbook almost hourly for fun. Take over everything? Sounds fantastic!

It’s been 7 months of sole money management and I’m beginning to get a clear understanding of why this is bad.

He doesn’t have a clue about our money and I’m constantly stressed about making the right decisions. I feel like I’m making mistakes and hurting us financially. It’s not that I can’t handle the finances on my own; I hate the sole responsibility. I’d be closer to a breaking point but I’m coasting through knowing he’ll be out of school by next week to offer a reprieve.

I have a countdown marked on my calendar.

I don’t know how people do it alone. Financial stress seems to permeate every part of your life and the feeling that you alone are responsible for the financial success of two people is, at the very least, hugely uncomfortable. We made some great progress on our finances this month (update tomorrow) but the pessimist in me only focuses on what I could have done better.

I miss my financial partner.

Are you a sole money manager? Or do you share the responsibility? What works best for you?

‘What is your total net worth?’

I calculated my mortgage debt, subtracted my tiny home value, added my student loan debt and my auto loan debt, and then subtracted my liquid cash. The total? An astonishingly huge negative number representing my net worth.

Not wanting to stop at the large, large, large negative number, I added the amount in our retirement accounts (though technically locked up for the next 27 years under mounds of government and ESOP paperwork).

I landed at a number closer to zero but still negative none the less.

I received the following question from my insurer:

PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY YOUR TOTAL NET WORTH IS A NEGATIVE NUMBER.

Yes, they wrote it in all caps. As if I needed a reminder that I’ve made some pretty large financial snafus. Little do they know that if my number landed anywhere close to zero, they’d find me dancing excitedly like a lunatic on top of the bus I take every day.

I sent a long explanatory e-mail to the agent and figured she’d understand. Instead, I received a disdainful, ‘Fine. I’ll alert your Case Manager.’

Certainly I can’t be the only one with an insanely underwater mortgage that throws off my net worth right? Let’s do a poll. Is your net worth a positive or negative number?

And if you see 14 comments after I post this that say ‘positive’ and you’re about to say ‘positive’ as well, say ‘negative’ just to make me feel better.

Have mercy.

I’m a nerd, therefore, I read the 7 million pages of information they send each time someone takes over.

One piece of information Chase customers couldn’t have possibly missed over the last month, even if they aren’t nerds and throw away 90% of the information, is the new set of overdraft rules. Unless customers are protected by the new ‘Chase Debit Card Overdraft Coverage’, everyday debit card purchases will not be approved if you don’t have sufficient available funds.

If you elect to add the Chase Debit Card Overdraft Coverage, you will be charged the standard $34 overdraft fee per transaction.

I haven’t had an overdraft charge in a very long time but I’m excited that I have the option to be declined rather than accidentally pay $35 for a Snickers bar. I decided to decline the Overdraft Coverage.

Trust me, I can handle the embarrassment of someone telling me I’m broke.

What do you think? Are you a “Decline me. I don’t care” sort of person or do you think there is a reason to keep the overdraft protection?

What??

I read the article and tried to give Mr. Karabell’s thoughts an open mind – then quickly dismissed his ideology as completely irrational.

My favorite quotes were:

“Even with the U.S. economy weak, the dollar remains one of the few truly safe havens, and that means interest rates could stay low for a very long time, which in turn means that our debts – however big – can be managed.”

And

“Obsessing about the debt is a distraction we can’t afford.”

And my personal favorite…

“The problem isn’t how much debt we’re carrying today; it’s whether the economy of tomorrow will be able to justify it.”

When I searched to link the article to this post, I found a follow up article by Mr. Karabell defending his position once more after a less than positive response from Time readers. He said, ‘People don’t see straight when discussing this issue.’

Based on the overwhelmingly disapproving response, it’s Mr. Karabell who may not ‘see straight when discussing this issue.’

I’d recommend reading the Time article… just for the reader comments at the end.

According to the Census Director, this flood of advertising will save money (see: http://blogs.census.gov/2010census/2010/02/why-use-advance-letters.html and http://blogs.census.gov/2010census/2010/02/2010-census-ad-campaign-positioned-to-save-taxpayers-millions.html)

I’ve read the reasons and I know how I feel but…

What do you think?

Waste of money? Or saving money?

Perfect.

She’s debt free other than her mortgage – and even then, she’s paying it aggressively. I’d love to tell you that her husband makes loads of money and that’s how she’s able to be a stay at home mom to four kids and remain debt free but…

He doesn’t.

My sister has found ways to live below her means and actively seeks new methods to spend less. She purchases clothing and toys for the kids at garage sales in nice neighborhoods then resells them when the kids outgrow them (sometimes, she actually MAKES money on this!), doesn’t waste money on cable TV or other ‘necessities’, drives an older yet reliable car, and she cooks fabulous inexpensive meals at home (my home cooked meals are inexpensive but they are far from fabulous).

She’s the annoyingly good at being frugal but not cheap.

Naturally, I spend this time around her basking in her infinite financial wisdom, asking questions, and learning from her example…

…and I am also the queen of England.

Sorry folks, sibling rivalry is alive and well.

So, I do the second best thing, I make my mom ask the questions and I pretend not to listen.

My advice, befriend someone frugal – even if it is your sister. I find that I don’t learn as much from the books or the internet as I do from those who may not have it all figured out, but they do a pretty darn good job.

I was watching my brother’s Rhodesian Ridgeback puppy, Dozer, last night and was amused to see him play wrestle with my sturdy Boston Terrier, Hutch.

When my brother bought the dog a few weeks ago, Dozer and Hutch were the same size. They would tussle in the backyard and Hutch, skilled in doggie play, would pin Dozer fairly quickly. Last night, things changed…

Dozer put on a good 5 – 10 pounds of solid mass over the last few weeks. Maybe he started doing pushups when no one was looking… or maybe he’s heading to the 120 pound size of his father a little more quickly than we thought.

As they played tug of war over a stuffed dog toy last night, Dozer, who had never ‘won’ before, was able to drag Hutch across the room. His growth had made him far more powerful.

Dozer, surprised at his strength, wagged his little tail with glee.

I couldn’t help but relate this to our tug of war with our debt. Our inexperience and lack of strength made us continually lose the battle. As we grow and learn, we win more battles. We make better decisions and become stronger in our strength to spend less-save more. In the end, I want to be Dozer. Sure I lost a lot of ground in my youth… but I’m not young and stupid anymore.

I will win… eventually.

(And for the animal lovers out there – I count myself as one – please note, the dogs play wrestle together. They do not fight or cause injury to each other. They are buddies and sleep in the same bed. Just thought I’d throw that out there)

I understand my debt is HORRIBLE and I can’t wait to be rid of it, but nearly $40,000 of credit card debt can’t be average right?

What are you numbers? And how long did it take you to get there?

My top four:

1. Replenish savings. Our bank accounts turned to rubble after the job loss and I find myself uncomfortable without a safety net. We do still have cash – but a trip to Taco Bell for two 89 cent burritos may cause an overdraft.

2. Pay off at least $19,000 in debt. We paid down over $17,000 this year and I think we may have a chance at $19,000 if we are able to keep our jobs.

3. Continue to find ways to live below my means. To start the new year off in the right direction, I registered for classes at our nearby community center rather than at a community college. I won’t get college credit (I don’t need it since I already have a degree) but I’ll save around $300 a year without having to give up my love for learning.

4. Take another budget vacation. Tent? Cheap motel? Roadtrip? Become a train hobo? Whatever we decide, it will be an adventure.

Do you have your goals planned for the year?

When I call Bank of America, they never know where to transfer me and my call is often magically ‘dropped’. We never received paper statements and our online statements have been a nightmare. Other than a statement of monthly payments, no other information was made available. I had no idea if or when our property taxes or mortgage insurance where paid and I could never find our principal balance. I called to ask why our mortgage payment jumped $150 a month and the best answer they ever offered was ‘I don’t know. Taxes maybe?’

Bank of America finally listed my full account information online this month.

Holy. Cow.

First, we were not notified that the cost of our homeowners insurance jumped by 50%. Call me crazy, but that’s kinda something I’d like to know.

Second, the extra money we’ve been paying on our principal balance the past two and half years has been offset by a reduction of our monthly payment.

This is hard to explain, but it’s sneaky by Bank of America none the less. We pay $20 extra per month on our second mortgage through Wells Fargo. They apply the $20 toward our principal balance but keep our payment the same. Since our principle balance is reduced and our payments are the same, our $20 is stretched to around $50-$75. Our $20 a month to Wells Fargo has paid off around $3,000 of mortgage debt instead of $720.

Bank of America has taken the $20 we designated toward principal and reduced our balance by exactly $20. Then, since our principal balance is reduced, they reduce our monthly payment. Unlike our loan with Wells Fargo, Bank of America has made it so we aren’t shaving any time off the life of our loan and we’re saving no money. Very Sneaky.

Realistically, I should have pushed harder for the information from Bank of America and demanded an explanation of the $150 hike. I assumed it was all from the recent property tax hikes, and most of it was, but I could have saved money by knowing there were other reasons behind the higher monthly payment. And, I would have liked to transfer the $20 I’m spending for no benefit at Bank of America and switched it to our Wells Fargo account.

I assumed my mortgage was the one payment I didn’t have to monitor closely – but I was really, really wrong.

Thank you Bank of America for making me your babysitter.

I assumed this wouldn’t be a difficult task. It’s not like there’s a strong filter for reality tv. Come on. I’ve seen Jerry Springer and Tila Tequila.

California’s official nickname is ‘The Golden State’
San Diego calls itself ‘America’s Finest City’
Humility isn’t our strong point.

It only seems obvious that we would point a camera of reality tv at our Southern California city. I went to the HGTV site, Pie Town Productions, and the DIY network. Do you know how many home remodeling shows are based in ‘America’s Finest City’?

Zero.

But, there are two shows that film anywhere, anytime – Extreme Home Makeover and Deserving Design. For Extreme Home Makeover, we lack a compelling unique story. ‘My husband lost his job… just like everyone else’ isn’t nearly as impressive or distinctive as ‘Timmy is allergic to the sun’ or ‘Little Bonnie Sue doesn’t have sweat glands’.

And remarkably, Deserving Design didn’t call me back after I submitted my husband as ‘deserving’ because only once during the last five years of our marriage has he left the toilet seat up. It’s sweet but not as gripping as Jane Doe saving the world over the last 20 years rescuing one sweatshop child at a time.

Bummer. I really needed a new back patio before the toothpicks, dental floss, and tin foil holding it together collapse.

Residents in our area are often sent letters asking to reduce water use. Thanks to ‘Navy showers’, reduction in roommates, and landscaping akin to the dust bowl, we personally cut our water usage by 50%. According to water company reports, our fellow residents cut their water usage by nearly 10%.

I received a letter titled ‘Water Rate Increase’ with my bill. The water company is raising rates in part because of… get this…

Lower water sales.

Um. Didn’t you ask me to stop using water? And now I have to pay more because I actually stopped using it?

Our 50% reduction in water usage resulted in… a bill that was 5.5% less than last month’s.

Striking oil in California won’t make you rich – but striking water just might.

It’s times like these that you just have to laugh.

The big question…

How long can we hold on without my husband’s job?

Our initial numbers (without unemployment benefits) put us at 8 weeks. Our reductions to debt paired with our cash in savings and unemployment benefits put us at…

9 months.

Had this happened before we had taken control… had this happened before we made the decision to live below our means and reduce debt… we would have made it through a month, maybe two tops.

But now, we’re looking at 9 safe months. 9 months to find a job before things get hairy. Sure we won’t make progress other than minimums and we certainly won’t eat anything other than Ramen noodles but, we can hold on.

I have four words to say –

Thank. You. Dave. Ramsey.

1 – If you are hoping for a huge change… this is not the answer. Not all changes are permanent and/or large. Some adjustments may last as little as 3 months.

2 – Loan modifications are not quick. If you can’t wait the standard 9 weeks for the review of your file and another 5-9 weeks for paperwork processing, you don’t have enough time and you may want to move forward with other options like a short sale or foreclosure.

3 – Give an accurate listing of all your expenses. Don’t exaggerate but don’t minimize either. Have a good understanding of exactly how much you are paying. Keep this information available for when you call the bank.

4 – You will be rejected if you have recently made large purchases or if your credit score is low. You shouldn’t be making large purchases anyway so I can’t say as if I blame the banks for this stipulation.

5 – If you have a second mortgage with another lender, they will likely require you to get approved for the Making Home Affordable Program on your first loan before they will consider a change to your second mortgage. If you are accepted for the program on your first loan, it’s easy to submit the same paperwork for your second mortgage.

6 – This should not be your only option. It’s worth a try, but don’t fool yourself into thinking this will solve your problems.

7 – If your home is not a Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac mortgage, this program does not apply to you… BUT some lenders are still willing to modify other types of loans.

8 – This is a voluntary program. No one HAS to help you. Sure it’s good business sense to lessen foreclosures on the banks part, but if you are a problem child, don’t expect any help. Banks don’t want to keep you as a customer anyway. Be kind, courteous, and polite even if you are frustrated.

According to the bank’s calculations, my husband and I qualify. We are now in the first 9 week waiting period while they review our files. We have stellar credit scores and we haven’t made large purchases in a long time. We are good candidates for an interest rate reduction from the over 7% it is currently, down to the market rates of 5-6%.

Do I really think it will really happen?

No. But it’s worth a try.

First, we cut our dental and vision insurance. This is something that can easily be re-instated but the $25 a month can help me now.

Second, I cancelled all my appointments health related or otherwise. None of my appointments were an emergency and I requested that my doctor renew my prescriptions without the annual check-up since the last 6 years have been clear of any problems. These appointments and tests run in the neighborhood of $500.

Third, I called my cable company to cancel our cable, reduce our internet speed, and reduce our phone service. I explained our situation and was surprised when they offered reduced internet costs, reduced phone costs, and added free services and free channels for a 12 month period. I would tell you how much I’m paying – but I’m afraid they’ll figure out they made a huge mistake and ‘correct’ the discount… or fire the guy who gave it to me. I would have cut out the internet and phone entirely but my husband needs internet for school purposes and job searching late at night when he gets home (free internet at the library is closed) and I’m uncomfortable without a home phone for emergencies.

Fourth, I contacted my student loan company for a deferment.

Fifth, my husband and I contacted friends and family and let them know we’d be available for odd jobs. Since unemployment doesn’t start for nearly a month after a job loss, my husband has done everything from pulling weeds to insulating walls. I have been helping a company with paperwork at night after work. We use this money for groceries and for the important bills like electric and water. At no time should you feel you are ‘too good’ for any type of job.

Sixth, we cut off all our subscriptions and memberships. If you’re like us, you may not even remember you have some of them since they are automatically billed to your credit card and you may not look at each item on your online statement. Some examples: gym memberships, club memberships, magazine and newspaper subscriptions (some automatically renew unless you cancel). Savings – $50 a month.

Seventh, we’ve been using more public transportation. It takes twice as long to get somewhere, it’s uncomfortable, and it’s far from fun, but it saves $50-$75 a month.

It’s not a lot, but each item buys us a little more time.

and applying for the Making Home Affordable program.

Yesterday, I left work early and made THE call. My call started at 5:07 p.m. and ended at 5:57 p.m.

I called the Making Home Affordable number on my Bank of America mortgage website and waited 17 minutes on hold. Someone answered and transferred my call since my mortgage used to be a Countrywide mortgage and they had a separate division.

I’m fairly certain they routed my call around the world because really, what else can explain the 24 minute hold time and the gentleman who sounded like had lunch in Bangladesh. He asked for my name, account number, checked my account, thanked me for paying on time, and told me I would be transferred yet again to a representative. 9 minutes later, a message said, ‘Our office is now closed. Please call back another time.’

I would give you advice on dealing with the Making Home Affordable program but since I didn’t talk to anyone, I will tell you this… you need more than an hour.

Dear Bank of America… I had far better things to do than spend 50 minutes of my life listening to Kenny G. and the recorded reminder that someone will be with me shortly. Obviously you and I have VERY different definitions of ‘shortly’ AND, I had to drink three glasses of Chianti just to keep my ears from bleeding.
Ugh. Kenny G.

I’ll let you know how it goes… if I ever get through.

That was a mistake.

Today, my husband’s co-worker was laid off and another was reduced to part-time without benefits. It looks like less than a 3 month count down until my husband gets the axe.

I am terrified.

At this point, since we had to clear out part of our savings, we can only last 8 weeks without his paycheck.

That number sends a terrifying chill through my bones.

I’m focusing on the good though:

1. He still has a job today.
2. I lost my job last year and we survived.
3. We’re both healthy.
4. The new seasons of Private Practice and Grey’s Anatomy have started.

It’s all about priorities.

Sure, if I had no debt and had no plans or acquiring new debt, my credit score wouldn’t matter…

Or would it?

I was reading Parade magazine this week and was reminded of a very important reason to keep up those scores – employment. Employers are using credit scores as another way to narrow down candidates. In this rough job market, that’s the last thing you want to worry about.

My current employer ran a credit check on me prior to offering employment. I had been unemployed for 2 months but had managed to pay my bills. Had my credit score fallen, I likely would have been passed over.

Congress is considering blocking this practice but right now, it’s very legal.

Do you think credit checks are a fair way to judge potential employees?

You can read the article at Parade.com/creditscore

I left to housesit for a co-worker and came home to …

My husband explained that he had discovered mold under the floor and in the walls and decided to replace everything to be safe.

So why… why… why… did I assume that when we intended to insulate the separation closet wall in a 50 year old house, that we would simply be able to insulate the closet wall?

This is our spare bedroom as of today…

A few days ago, my husband asked if he could insulate all four walls. We both agreed that as long as we had one wall down, we should take down the remaining three walls, fix the electrical, and fix the phone line. Total tab so far? $142. I am so very thankful to be married to a talented construction man.

When making decisions like these, it’s hard not to want to put it off until later or take the easy way out. What we constantly have to consider is: Is this going to cost more later if avoided?

My nearly $200 electric bill tells me… I should have done this two years ago.

The good news? Energy improvements, including insulation, are tax deductable. Yes!

Want more info? Go to: energystar.gov/taxcredits

Dave Ramsey suggests paying the extra amount on your lowest debt (which would be the student loan) but the minimum payment on our truck is more 4 times higher than the student loan. Plus, the interest rate on the truck is twice as much.

Another good reason to pay more on the truck is to quickly rid ourselves of the hefty payment. In the event of job loss, a student loan can be deferred due to financial hardship – auto loans are not nearly as forgiving.

We’re hoping to have the truck paid off in 10 months or less.

Here we go!

Total Starting Debt: $38,495.86
Total Paid: $16,727.33
Total Remaining: $21,768.53

Breakdown of Remaining Debt –
Truck: $11,934.57
Student Loan: $9,833.96

We’re nearly halfway there. I got an updated payoff date according to our Debt Snowball Calculator on DaveRamsey.com…

December 2010.

We shaved off 4 months so far. Can I get a Woo Hoo?

I’m fortunate to be married to a hardworking construction genius who can do the work himself (plus, my husband looks irresistible in safety goggles). We only have to pay for the materials which should run about $100.

Why are we insulating? Our house was built in the 1950’s and no insulation was used on any interior or exterior walls. Our heating and cooling bills are much higher than they need to be. The initial expense of the upgrade will be quickly paid for in lower electric bills plus, it’s better for the environment. And… our new roommates are newlyweds – that’s reason enough in itself.

It always seems like when we have an opportunity to get ahead, the necessities of life burn through the cash. Between tuition costs, new dog vet bills, and the two weddings, we have had to pony up more than $3,000 in the last two months.

These expenses would have buried us in the past, but careful planning and frugal spending have kept our heads above water.

A COLLECTIONS AGENCY!

‘This message is for Rebekah’s husband [obviously they stated my husband’s full name], we have an urgent matter to discuss with you. We’re calling from Blankety Blank Collections, please call us immediately!’

I called my husband in a panic. ‘Honey, you’ve got something in COLLECTIONS! Can you call them the second you get home!!??’

I dialed again.

*ring*

‘Hon, don’t give them your Social Security Number!’

*ring*

‘Hon, don’t give them your credit card number!’

*ring*

‘Tell them we want something in writing or an office address!’

To which he finally said, ‘Sweetheart, I can’t call them unless you stop calling me.’

Oh. Oops.

A few minutes later, he called me back and said…

‘Same name, wrong person.’

Hey Collections folks, thanks for making not only people with who can’t pay their bills miserable but also everyone else who shares their name.

I can only hope they won’t be calling back.

We don’t see each other often. Perhaps that’s why our marriage is so great. We don’t have time to fight – heck we’re just so darn excited to see one another we don’t really… um… talk much.

He took a rare three nights off last week and we went running and cycling together every day. We made dinner. We walked the dogs. We watched movies. We remembered what it was like to be married.

I couldn’t help but think about how wonderful it was to have him around – to see him relax, even for just a night or two. He must have been thinking the same thing. He said, ‘I want to work less and live my life more.’ He has decided to work 6 days per week and 2 nights per week – and yes, that’s a cut-back (he was working 6 days and 6 nights).

I can’t agree with him more. As he toils to pay our debt, I can’t help but wonder if our self-inflicted punishment of hard labor is worse than the crime of spending. I wonder if one day, we’ll look back and regret the time we missed when our life was just us. We can cover our bills plus some without the extra work so we’ve decided to slow down.

So… we will pay things off more slowly BUT I have my husband back – and I’ve missed him dearly.

Financially, the smart thing would have been to keep my family a one dog family but every time I came home and saw my remaining dog mope around the house, I knew I couldn’t leave things the way they were. When he stopped eating and whined constantly, I was reduced to tears on a daily basis.

I spent a week searching shelters but couldn’t seem to find a dog that fit our dynamic. I don’t believe in buying dogs for short term commitments and knew bringing home anything but a perfect fit would be a bad idea. I decided to stop at one more, knowing if I didn’t find the right dog, I’d simply give up.

Then I met Hutch.

I was still in the habit at crying at the sight of dogs and sat on the floor thinking I’d never find another I could love at much as my last. Hutch took one look at me, crawled into my lap, and promptly fell asleep.

Needless to say, he came home with me.

Financially, I made a mistake. A dog is a financial responsibility – even if he is replacing another. Physically and emotionally, I did what my heart (any my other dog) needed.

If you see a redhead jogging down the street with two wagging tailed dogs and a grin the size of Texas… that’s probably me.

Why don’t you sell the truck?

I neglected to explain the reason we’re carrying the truck payment. It’s funny that no one noticed the debt on the truck earlier. It wasn’t until we paid down enough on the rest of our debt to make the truck HALF our total debt that someone asked about it.

My husband had a Chevy that gave out on us a few years ago and he’s one of those few people who actually need a full size truck for work. He tows trailers, fills it with concrete, moves landscaping, etc. A reliable full sized truck isn’t an option… it’s a requirement. We financed a Toyota truck for 26K two years ago and at the time, it was a great deal – or at least that’s what everyone likes to think after leaving a used car dealer.

Fast forward a few years, a few gas hikes, and a few construction related dents later and suddenly…

The truck is more than just a little upside-down – it’s hanging from its toe nails.

We’d MAYBE be able to sell it to someone for 8K… if we made them test drive it in the dark and promise them it got 58 miles to the gallon completely powered by canola oil. But since we’re honest folks, that’s not an option. Plus, we’d have to buy another full sized truck reliable enough to take the 25 – 30 thousand miles a year he drives for work.

Take the nearly 5 thousand we’d have to pay for our upside-down loan and add it to the cost of another truck and it just doesn’t make sense. I’d rather bite the bullet, pay if off by mid-year next year, and have a truck I know works for us.

Our previous vacation trips were fun but the nasty ‘debt hangover’ when we came home always sucked (excuse my language, but I’m being dreadfully honest).

When we arrived home from beach camping, I flipped on my computer and closed my eyes after typing my password for online banking.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Why is it when you are broke and running the risk of overdrafts, the bank websites turn to sludge? It’s as if they get a sick satisfaction in making your pain last longer.

The screen finally popped up and… I screamed.

We only spent $38 for the week (I’ll update you later on how we shamelessly saved money in ridiculous ways).

I’m fairly certain we spend more than that when we aren’t on vacation.

Cheers to my first ‘debt hangover’ free vacation!

I am very disappointed.

This event led to the following changes:

1. More involvement by both of us. Often in relationships, one person manages the finances. When things don’t go well and money is too tight, this person feels the stress, the pressure, and the responsibility for the mess. We have both decided to dedicate and hour each week to review each transaction. Now we have more checks and balances on each others spending – otherwise, we’ll have another bad month.

2. We are refocusing our goals and setting rewards. Our next payoff is still a ways away and we’re getting frustrated and bored. We decided to give ourselves something to look forward to after our next payoff. It’s nothing huge, maybe a dinner out or a trip to the theater, but rewards between payoffs has become something we need to stay motivated.

3. Reconsidering our numbers. We went back to make sure our numbers were working for our ever changing budget. We’ve been underspending on gas and overspending on miscellaneous necessities (car repairs, house repairs, etc.). We decided to adjust our numbers and perhaps pay a little less on our credit card so we can stop panicking when things aren’t balancing. Leaving the numbers the same would be great, but it’s obviously not working and it’s causing frustration.

4. We have decided to spread our focus. It’s easy to let finances consume our thoughts and lives. Rather than let this stress grow, we decided to let ourselves enjoy other things in life. Running, swimming, yoga, gardening groups, and organizing the garage help to keep our mind free of the finance clutter in our brains.

When there are long distances between payoffs, it’s important to work at what is frustrating you. You can’t solve everything, and it will be painful, but taking steps to at least reduce stress will help to prevent burnout. I’d rather take things a bit more slowly than give up entirely.

What have you done to motivate yourself and prevent burnout?

In short? A lot!

A few benefits of exercising (tip of the iceburg)?
Reduced blood pressure
Reduced feelings of depression and anxiety
Helps to control weight
Helps to build and maintain healthy joints, muscles, and bones
Reduced risk of diabetes

What do these have to do with finances?
Have you had to pay for doctors and medication recently?!? Ouch!! Also, exercise helps you sleep, puts you in a better mood, helps your self confidence, and gives you energy – all very important things in the work world where your paycheck comes from! Plus, people with a BMI of less than 22 get sick less often and miss less work.

I’ve been fortunate to have been physically active and healthy for most of my life. Running a marathon is just another way to push myself and stay active. Sure my sore legged walk makes Frankenstein look like a graceful ballerina but it’s important to encourage you to gain control in your finances AND in your health – they are closely connected.

Tomorrow is Saturday, take a walk with your dog, play with your kids, or ride your bike. Take a break from staring at that checkbook and balancing numbers to get some fresh air.

It’s good for you.

Some free sites to help you out?

www.Mapmyride.com
I use this site to calculate mileage and read elevation changes on my bike rides/runs.

www.Mypyramid.gov
This free site helps to guide you on better eating habits.

I’m warning you… these sites can be ADDICTIVE!!

What is your favorite FREE health related site?

I can breathe a temporary sigh of relief.

I keep hearing about layoffs across the country. I lost my job when the business closed 7 months ago, my husband’s company is on the brink, and my new job is unstable. My father and brother are without jobs. Are we just in bad industries or are you struggling to keep your job too?

I’ve been debt free before.

There was a moment, for about 3 days, in college when I had no debt. My car was paid off, my credit card had no balance, and I didn’t have a mortgage.

Then, I came close again after we closed on our house. We had been saving for a year and the money returned to us from escrow was used to pay off my husband’s credit line.

That credit card debt freedom lasted a few weeks before we decided to remodel our master bathroom and take a trip to Hawaii.

My finances are like a yo-yo diet. Sure I’d love to eat healthy all the time but rolled tacos with Mexican guacamole? I can’t resist.

Just like weight loss, a diet is silly. The only real option for permanent results is a lifestyle change. Staying thin requires eating less than or equal to what you need – staying financially healthy means spending less than you make. Sure it looks easy on paper, but only those who have suffered through it (and continue to suffer through it daily) know how hard the struggle can be.

This is the longest I’ve been on a financial diet – and I know I’ve got what it takes to keep the ‘weight’ off.

Yeah, the change is lame – but the results… those are what I’m grinning at each month when the credit card statement arrives.

One day… it will say…

$0

Which is harder for you: Losing weight? or losing debt?

Whenever someone on the show says something clever, an elevator in the background dings. Not a big deal… unless you work in a building with elevators. Now every time the elevator dings, I act like Pavlov’s Dog and wait for someone to say something clever.

I’m onto you Executive Producer Betsy Beers. Thanks to you, TV watching has caused a semi-normal person like me to live in a complete state of confusion for 10 floor dings up… and 10 floor dings down each day! But while you’re out creating chaos in the world, I was wondering if you’d take some precious time from your schedule and somehow work your Pavlovian magic on my finances. I’d like to be completely numb to the charms of the evil ones, ie… Target, Macy’s, and their best friend Nordstom.

Come on Betsy! A little help please!?

DING!

No, I am not going to reveal my housing costs. Asking a San Diegan to reveal her mortgage payment is like asking a New York housewife to reveal her age. The only thing likely to happen is a giant string of lies.

I’m also not going to reveal our charitable giving amounts. What we decide to give is a very personal decision and it’s not an amount I’m willing to change just to pay more on bills.

Savings: $50
Electricity/Gas: $105
Cell Phones: $100
Cable/Internet/Phone: $100
Grocery: $300
Gas: $260
Laundry: $10
Toiletries: $11
Clothing/House Repairs/Animal Care/Spending Money: $200
Water: $70
Trash: $18

All remaining money is used to pay our mortgage, our credit card, our student loans, and my husband’s truck.

So. Am I normal by the numbers? What does your budget look like?

Um.

I hate to disagree with a professional financial advisor but…

He’s dead wrong (and is obviously invested in Starbucks).

At least when it comes to me anyway.

I don’t buy big items. I bought my dining room set for $75 off Craigslist five years ago. My couches are ten years old. My bed is a hand me down from my sister. How do I spend my money?

According to my online banking… I spend it in tidy $20 increments over… and over… and over again. My money doesn’t flood out, it trickles. The article recommended taking 24 hours to consider every purchase over $100. Good advice, but the last purchase I made over $100 was months ago. It’s not the $100 purchases that are killing me!

I feel like the article should have simply said, ‘Watch where the bulk of your money is going and try to find ways to save from there.’

My goal this month is to watch my ‘trickle’ problem. I’ve gotten to the point that I have to seriously consider every item I purchase AND if I wait long enough, will it go on sale? will the newspaper run a coupon?… or will I forget I even wanted it in the first place?

Is your problem a trickle? Or a flood?

So here’s an open note to my mother – and I’ll try my best not to sound like a Boyz to Men song.

Mom,

Thank you for teaching me that children don’t need money to be happy. You made sure I knew love from my family was worth far more than the cash so frequently doled out to my friends from their uninvolved parents. I had the happiest childhood (and heck, adulthood) a kid could ask for and it was never because you showered me with the finest things in life – you knew you couldn’t buy joy. You showed me love, compassion, kindness, and at times… the back of your hand when I deserved it.

Thank you for teaching me responsibility. You didn’t teach me how to get into a financial mess, but you taught me how to own up to my mistakes and pay for them no matter how much it hurts. And speaking of taking responsibility… um… yes, I was the one who left the candle burning and set the counter on fire 11 years ago. Sorry about that.

Thank you for your faith in me. When we went on that college campus tour and I saw the $26,000 a year price tag, I told you it was a nice dream but it would never happen. You looked at me like I was insane and spent the next few hours with the financial aid department. They told me I had to keep a nearly perfect GPA and you told me you knew I could do it… and I did… but only because you believed in me more than I believed in myself.

I wish every kid could have a mother like you. The world would be a great place.

I love you mom

But I guess that’s part of a journey.  It can’t be all fun right?

I worked a tough job for a ‘big box store’ to pay the bills while applying for any decent job available. I finally landed a great job in December. 

I’ve struggled with unexpected expenses – like a monthly $150 property tax hike and a 1% sales tax hike…

I’ve made lifestyle changes – the biggest one is my use of public transportation…

I’ve struggled with monotony…

And I paid off my car.

Here is where I am on my debt journey.  Somehow, we’ve squeezed $10,000 toward our debt – $30,000 to go.  Sure I’d like it to be more, but $10,000 isn’t a bad number.

I can’t wait to finish this journey and finally become…

DEBT FREE!!

The national news show NOW on PBS is looking for a student graduate who is in debt, about $50,000 or more, and fits one of the following two profiles:

1) A recent graduate (0-2 years out, give or take) who has been unable to find a job in his or her chosen profession because of the recession and is having difficulty or is totally unable to make their student loan payments.

2) Someone with an advanced degree who is about 5 years out of school and has been hit hard by the recession – possibly lost his or her job or is woefully underemployed, maybe trying to support a family, who is considering bankruptcy.

If you are interested in being interviewed for a documentary that will look at the student loan and recession crisis in the US, please contact us right away. The show will air on Channel 13 in late May, so
we’d need to hear from you immediately. Please contact Elyse Eisenberg at NOW – (212) 560 8567- if you are interested in doing the interview. You can also send an email to – eisenberge@thirteen.org.

Please contact Elyse if interested in talking about your story.

While our relationship has been great and I have appreciated your monthly letters of good tidings, I’m afraid I have to end things. You see, I recently met with my tax man and he told me we’re getting back a small chunk of cash which means… all the money I’ve been saving can finally be used to rid myself of you.

I know you have lots of friends like me and you probably won’t miss me but I’m sure you’ll miss the nearly two years of interest I would still owe you if we continued to be friends.

Please don’t take this personally, your service has been exceptional. We’ve actually got along quite well the past few years but it’s not you… it’s me.

I wish you the best in your future endeavors… none of which will involve me.

All my love, but none of my cash,

Rebekah

Some people have bad teeth.

And even still, some people have teeth that make Steve Buscemi look like a Colegate smile model.

I’m in the last category.

Oh, you can’t tell to look at me. I have a beautiful smile – but I’ve spent more on my teeth than most people spend on their first home.

Either:

A) My dentist was an elephant poacher in her previous life and she can’t rid herself of the desire to create enough pure ivory piano keys out of my teeth to furnish a grand piano… or two.

Or

B) My tooth enamel is as effective at preventing cavities as a double fudge cake is to weight loss.

I brush, I floss, and I rinse twice daily. I avoid soda and sugar. BUT… according to my dentist, some people are destined to have bad teeth.

And I am destined to pay her dental school loans.

Obviously my dental woes affect my ability to pay off debt. I recently finished paying off a $1,500 dental loan, but there is always more work to be done.

I also recently interviewed for a job with one of the most inclusive dental plans I’ve ever seen.

They reviewed the information with me at the end of the interview and I’m hoping they didn’t notice I had stars, exclamation points, and highlighted sections around the ‘Dental Benefits’ section.

Ahh. To be free of dental debt – past and future – would help a lot.

Her advice makes perfect sense. Credit cards companies have been unpredictable lately with closing accounts or reducing credit limits. If you pay off your balance, you may not have a credit card to use in the event of an emergency. I have a lot of respect for Suze for changing her stance.

I knew back in January that we were going to do our best to meet our credit card payoff goal date of May 2009. I wanted to do it without having to pull from our savings. But after crunching the numbers we can come up with $1,500 for sure this month.

Since we are so close, we are going to pay as much as we can towards our credit card debt and pay off the rest with our savings. I’m going to see how many tricks we can pull out of our hat (extra hours, selling stuff, etc.) to keep our savings as intact as possible. But as of April 30th, we want to be credit card debt-free and will pull from our savings as needed.

Let me just say that I do not recommend that you pull from savings to pay credit card debt unless you really think through everything. If it wasn’t for our business, we would more than likely have followed Suze’s new advice. As I previously mentioned, once our credit card debt is paid off I was going to retire from writing on this blog and a new blogger will begin with their debt story. The time that is used for this blog is really needed for our business to expand.

Our story is far from being over and I know some of you mentioned how nice it would be if I still gave updates somewhere. Well, you can change retiring from this blog to “semi-retiring.” I will not be posting daily, but I can post when the mood strikes when there is an interesting update. The posts will not be as detailed as before, but if our decision to use our savings to pay off the last of our debt bites us in the butt – you’ll hear about it right here.

I sure hope it doesn’t, though. The plan is to replenish the money that we end up “borrowing” the next month. We’ll kick our income into high gear and we’ll put off the home repairs that we need for a little bit longer. It will be all about our savings account for a while.

Nothing in life is ever guaranteed. You can budget until you turn blue in the face but life can never be completely planned. Taking everything into consideration, we think this is the best choice for us.

I have a friend who is in a similar situation (has enough savings to pay off credit card debt but opts not to based on fear of emergency). Can you explain the reasoning to me? … If an emergency arises, why couldn’t you use a credit card?

For our situation, the mathematical thing to do is to leave our savings alone. Our debt is at 0% and will be for a little while yet. So we are earning money on our savings (although the average interest rate is well below 2% right now). If we were paying interest on our credit card balance, we probably would have used our savings to pay off the last of it. We’ve paid enough in finance charges through the years and I don’t want to pay a penny more if it can be avoided.

There are emotional reasons as well. I like having money in our savings account that is ours…all ours. We use it and we don’t owe anything to use it. There is something I find very empowering about that. The other day I started thinking about how much we should aim to save up for a good emergency fund. $10,000 popped in my mind and I realized how many emergencies that could cover. That would be an awesome safety-net.

Then there is another emotional reason. I have concerns about the transition phase we will have to go through once our credit card debt is paid off. We’ll still have student loans and a mortgage, but we are going to spend some money on things we have been putting off while in debt reduction mode. There is always the concern that our old habits could resurface. Going into this transition, I think I would rather have some money in the bank in case we stumble a little bit.

Back when we started our debt reduction journey, I was anti-emergency fund. If we had an emergency, we would use our credit cards. Gradually we started up a little account then added more and more to it. It became a “financial blankie” of sorts. The economy may be going a little crazy but we have some cash in the bank. It’s comforting.

I did take a look at our finances today. This weekend my husband and I will discuss and decide what we would like to do. We will be able to pay a chunk of our debt off, but we will have to pull some money from our savings to finish off the rest. We’ll take a look at the pros and cons to figure out what is the best route for our family.

I didn’t get a fast talker this time but I did get a persistent person trying to sell me a program that would make my monthly payment if I lose my job, etc. The charge for this program depends on the balance on your card and this card is the one with the last of our credit card debt.

I’m not interested in a program like that and told the woman, “No thank you.” She went on again. I said, “No.” Then she got a little personal. “Do you have anything that will pay off your balance if you happen to lose your job?”

I am not a quick thinker. If my fifth grade teacher hadn’t of zapped the word, “Um…” from my vocabulary, I would be saying it all of the time (thanks, Mrs. R!). I don’t know where it came from, but I had a quick answer for her…

“My emergency fund.”

Dead silence on her end. I don’t think she expected to hear that. I didn’t expect to myself to say that! After a few seconds, she said, “Ok.” She didn’t discuss the program again and our call ended shortly after that.

I know we have more in savings than credit card debt. The whole thing is still a little surreal even though I’ve written about it on here and discussed it with my husband. Saying it out loud to someone else other than my husband made it really sink in. I can definitely understand why some people who have paid off their debt call into a radio show to yell that they are debt free.

Stuff used to rule our life. A holiday coming up – well, gotta go buy some decorations. Fisher Price came out with a new Little People set today – well, that is a must have addition to our son’s toys that already fill his room. We didn’t have money in our checking account for it so on the credit cards it went.

We don’t put things like that on our card anymore. It’s not just because we are trying to reduce debt. It’s because we know that we don’t need all of that stuff for happiness. The book Debt is Slavery actually was a big eye-opener when it came to stuff (if you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it – see if your library has a copy to borrow). I felt sad selling most of our stuff. It wasn’t because I was going to miss it – it was because we spent so much money on it.

An interesting change is one that I’ve tried writing about before, but couldn’t find the words. I still can’t quite seem to get it out. So I’ll give an example of what changed. We knew that reusable shopping bags were out there but never gave them a second thought. We’d get plastic bags and toss them in the trash (less a few we kept around the house for various uses – but we didn’t use many). It was really starting to bug the both of us so we paid the money to have some reusable bags.

It’s almost like since we were cutting the wasteful spending we were doing – we started cutting other waste from our lives as well. I wish I could convey this better – I’m not sure I fully understand it yet LOL.

Even though our goal was to pay off credit card debt, we have received so much more in return. We are a much happier family overall. That is a wonderful benefit