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School Options

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It is time to explore school options for my youngest two children. Throughout my time here, my choice to homeschool my kids has been under-fire. I am not here to defend that choice, I still stand by it. The only thing I want is what is best for my kids, that’s it, that’s all.  Up until this year, I would never have blinked when answering that homeschooling was the best choice for them.

And now we are here, and my heart is broken that I am not there with them. I am not as hands on with their schooling. Our school time together is limited. And the daily time we have is when I am at my worst, tired and ready for bed. So now I must evaluate again the best schooling options for my children.

The Now

I am not going to rush into any decisions or changes. I am confident that what we are doing now is good enough for the remainder of this year. Both of the kids are using ALEKS for math which I love as it is based on Mastery. It also has great reporting for me to track the time they spend and their progress wherever I am. They have a variety of “workbook” type curricula they do independently primarily focused on writing and grammar skills. Both have a live online Spanish class once a week and are progressing fantastically (Princess would probably be considered fluent in Spanish now after 4 years of consistent study.) And then we are doing History through literature by reading and discussions daily and independent reading of biographies (Gymnast is currently reading about Harriet Tubman and Princess just finished Ronald Reagan.)

For this school year, I do not plan on making any changes.

School Options – Princess

I’ve hinted at it throughout my time here, but Princess is smart and very motivated to achieve a lot in her education. This is her personal drive. There are lots of school options for her. With that in mind, we have visited a local college prep school that offers both boarding and commuting options. She will be going into 9th grade next fall although she is working at higher grades for some subjects.

At this time, the plan is for her to start there in the fall.  I don’t know if it’s a long term commitment, but I think it is the best option for next year.  Of course, we have to get through the application process and financial aid.  We’ve just started the process after she shadowed a student for a day. She is thrilled at the opportunity, I am sad. But in the I want what is best for her.

The Cost: Private school is expensive. The average tuition for local kids visiting this particular school is $4000 per year. They do offer substantial financial aid. It is something I will have to consider after we get all the facts.

School Options – Gymnast

For Gymnast, I am struggling…he is my social child. He would love public school. However, unless they are willing with work with us on time, he would not be able to continue with gymnastics.  When he and I have talked, he does not want to give up gymnastics. This is his first year with online classes, and while he struggles with the technology, he enjoys it more than working independently most of the time. I am still looking for different options for him.

Or We Could Move (again)

One other thing I should mention is that if we were to move to SC (where they both play their competitive sports) they could both attend the public schools on a part time basis.  The districts there are very open to alternative school options. Unfortunately, it would move us away from family which was a big factor in us moving here and greatly increase my commute time. It is a thought in my head.

(I am not mentioning Sea Cadet as he is wrapping up his senior use as a dual enrolled student at the local community college and is doing fantastic.  He is taking 11 hours this semester and we are hoping for 15 next semester. He will be in college full time next year.)

 


41 Comments

  • Reply Isabella |

    I am not one to object to home schooling at all. My sister home schooled her 8 children, and all but one are college graduates. She did an excellent job, but she was present all day with her kids. It took a lot of work and planning on her part. I know this because I am an experienced elementary school teacher and understand what it takes and how high the standards and expectations must be. She home schooled all the kids through 8th grade, after which they attended the local high school.

    I just can’t get my head around “home schooling” when you are not at home! Or when you are home, you are probably only half there as you juggle the other jobs. And now I see talk of adding on more expenses for a private school. To me, education comes before ALL sports in the lives of children. And I also see talk of yet more uprooting as you contemplate a move to South Carolina for what? Sports,it seems. Hope, you have done a great job of clawing your way out of homelessness and unemployment, but please hunker down, stabilize your lives, and do what is best for your children.

    • Reply Hope |

      I have addressed History Buff previously. He chose to remain in VA when we moved (he was 18 years old at that time.) He is working full time and has moved back in with his biological mom and siblings. I do not say any more as to respect his privacy.

      • Reply Laura |

        Hope I have been critical of some of your decisions before but I really admire you for respecting his privacy like that. I feel many parents over share of their children online.

  • Reply Margann34 |

    I think that it is very wise for you to consider alternatives at this time. I understand that you are disappointed that you cannot complete their schooling at home. We all have those types of disappointment. I wanted to be a stay at home mother but as the higher income earner with excellent benefits, I chose too keep working to offer financial stability at home. No one has perfect circumstances. I think this will be a great opportunity to show your children that sometimes the best choice is not always your first choice. Also, it will be great to help your kids transition into a life where you are not present 24/7. They will gain valuable social skills that will help them in the job market in just a few years. Hope, you haven’t failed at homeschooling. You have been successfully taught your kids to this point. They will ALWAYS have that foundation.

  • Reply Yolanda |

    Exploring these options is good. I would only consider the private school if she were awarded assistance or a scholarship to attend. Would she board or commute?

    Perhaps the public school will work with gymnast on scheduling. I’d put education before sports personally. But maybe he could have a study hall type class at the end of the day that would allow him to leave early? That would be win/win.

    I wouldn’t even consider another move. Keep it stable.

    • Reply Hope |

      She would commute, and yes, I definitely couldn’t make a final decision until after I heard a firm number for cost. We won’t hear about admission until mid-February. We are going to apply and go from there. She and I have talked at length about pros and cons, and the probability of her going or not going. Definitely not a done deal, but it does seem to be the best fit for her out of all the other options and we have looked at a lot of options.

  • Reply Deb |

    Hope,

    I have been following your blog for some time now. Public schools are a good resource and would help keep costs manageable and within your budget. I read over your posting and I feel that you answered your own question regarding your son. If he would “love” public school than that can be the best option for him. Usually public schools have sports teams and he may get the same amount of joy out of it.

    As for your daughter, public schools offer dual enrollment, honors classes, and are able to promote scholarships at graduation to a college that may be out of reach for some students. I would really consider public school for both children.

    The kids are still in school and I would not want to move my kids from an area that they are comfortable in regardless of circumstances. I would just make it work, if possible lower costs in my budget, and have a frank discussion with the family regarding options and choices. I have done this many times with my children and they are aware that sometimes there are things that we don’t want to do, but have to when choices have to be made.

    • Reply Hope |

      For the record, the hold out in moving again is me, not the kids. While they would miss their great-grandmother and a few cousins they see regularly, they would move in a minute if given the opportunity. They really hate it here. The isolation and cultural differences have been really hard on them. That is the only reason I am even considering the school options…

      You can see in some of my other comments that I have in fact been in touch with the local school district since this summer to no avail.

  • Reply Walnut |

    You didn’t mention the local public school systems – have you explored any of those? My state offers the flexibility to opt into any district you prefer, so parents will often tour and chat with districts beyond the home district. As Yolanda indicated, finding a district with a schedule that offers an open period at the end of the day could work really well for your extra curricular activities. Also choosing a district that is between your home district and the after school activities might work better for scheduling.

    I know you keep mentioning that you’re in a small town and seem to to discount your options because of that. Have you done thorough research and actually had meetings with administration? I grew up in a very rural area in the midwest and you would be surprised at the options available if you do more than just look at websites.

    I think it is wise to explore all options. There are a lot of people who home school in elementary and then turn to other options for high school. This is not a failure – you are still doing what is best for your kids.

    Chin up, Hope. This internet stranger thinks you’re a great mother.

    • Reply Hope |

      At the end of the summer, when the isolation and issues began to crop up with the kids, I called four districts here to explore the possibility of enrollment while maintaining Gymnast ability to train. They would not even consider it.

      I am planning to make an in person appt with our local district but seeing as my uncle was the middle school math teacher, coach, principal and recently school board president…I feel like I have the inside track on what this particular middle school will consider or NOT in this case. But I am willing to try it again.

      I am definitely exploring all options.

      Thank you very much for your encouragement!

  • Reply Lisa |

    Hope, do you have a link to your first post? I am fairly new to the blog and there are 477 pages of blog entries.

  • Reply Emily N. |

    I think it’s very wise of you to make your children’s best interests the top priority as you consider schooling choices. My three siblings and I were all homeschooled K-12 (we’re now mid-twenties to mid-thirties). While I know my mom had our best interests in mind when she started homeschooling us, I’m not sure that it remained that way. She kept homeschooling my youngest two siblings in high school after she became essentially a single parent and starting working full time, and I think the lack of direct supervision was bad for my siblings in different ways. My brother struggled with isolation and depression and had a terrible time getting his work done. My sister decided she could make her own decisions and stopped doing assignments for some of her online classes. My mom didn’t find out until it was too late to make up the work. Both siblings are fine now, but I don’t think that homeschooling without adult supervision for most of the day was the best for them.

    • Reply Hope |

      Isolation is definitely the issue these days. Thank you for your informed and kind feedback.

  • Reply Kate |

    I think it’s great that you are considering this. I was a little bit critical of you in the last post but now feel badly that so much, and some personal, criticism did get heaped onto you. I am glad to see you truly and honestly considering your options. $4000 is not a terribly large amount of money for private school tuition, it could be about 10x that here, so I hope you are able to get a good financial aid offer for her.

    • Reply Lisa |

      Homeschooling is different for each family. They can school on weekends, evenings, mornings, afternoons, four days a week… As long as they are meeting their state’s mandates, it is up to them. Most time homeschoolers don’t need 6-7 hours a day of class time, because there aren’t 24-30 students in the class to teach the same concept to until they all understand.

    • Reply Hope |

      What Lisa said…I tried to give a glimpse into what our schooling looks like in this post. But I could write a book on the intricacies. We school alot on the weekend. Our science is a high school level electrical studies course which requires lots of hands on soldering as they create boards, etc. and lots of supervision. What they can do by themselves, they do during the 20ish hours they are home alone and the rest we do together nights (M, W), afternoons (T & Th I am home by 3pm) and weekends.

      The gist of Lisa’s comment post stands, our ‘class’ time is not quite as time consuming as there are only two of them and some days it’s one on one for their particular lesson and sometimes it’s a good lesson.

  • Reply Another sports parent |

    Hi Hope,

    You might be surprised at the flexibility of some public schools for supporting outside sports. One of my twins has a super busy sports schedule and we worked with the school on a plan for him to do both. The school doesn’t love it and it’s outside of their official policies, but they have been extremely accommodating – except for PE for some reason! It’s worth exploring the option and I was pleasantly surprised at their support.

    • Reply Hope |

      At the end of the summer, when the isolation and issues began to crop up with the kids, I called four districts here to explore the possibility of enrollment while maintaining Gymnast ability to train. They would not even consider it.

      I am planning to make an in person appt with our local district but seeing as my uncle was the middle school math teacher, coach, principal and recently school board president…I feel like I have the inside track on what this particular middle school will consider or NOT in this case. But I am willing to try it again.

  • Reply Angel |

    4K is pretty cheap for private school and you have a good amount of time to save it…IF you sacrifice something else. I’m a single parent and my child is in private school at 6k a year (kindergarten) and I scrimp to provide that. But it’s always a year by year decision for me. If he continues to do well, I’ll continue to sacrifice for it. That means we don’t eat out, there’s no entertainment budget, no vacations. Sometimes I really resent the impact of private school, particularly because I could get out of debt so much faster. But I prioritize his education above my debt pay off.

    You prioritize differently and that’s fine, every parent has to choose which things come first. Be wary of trying to fit everything in, it will only exhaust you and drain your budget. You can’t outearn everything, you have to say no to something.

    • Reply Hope |

      We also make these kind of choices on a year by year basis, sports included. The good thing is that if she does end up going to a “school” it will replace the travel volleyball team as she will be able to play as many sports as she wants to at the schools. (In our tiny town, the parks and rec dept only offers cheerleading and soccer for girls, neither of which is her thing.)

  • Reply GeorgiaGirl |

    Hope, I’m a Georgia Girl who works in education and am familiar with school I think you are considering for Princess. It’s a fantastic school with a a real mission for educating students. If she’s a good fit ( and from what I’ve gleaned about her from your posts she would be) they don’t want money to stand in her way. Best of luck!

    • Reply Hope |

      Thank you, GeorgiaGirl! I have heard that as well. I appreciate the vote of confidence in this possibility for her.

  • Reply debtor |

    No real feedback because I don’t have kids and don’t feel qualified to say what is the best. But i definitely wanted to say good job for putting this out there like that. Laying out all the options you are considering before you make a choice will allow you to get so much information from readers that will hopefully help you make the best decision for you and your kids. I will definitely add that I think moving is a bad idea – it’s also not cheap/free!

    • Reply Hope |

      I agree on the moving aspect. I am not sure I can stomach another move…not just the cost, but the packing and the heavy lifting and the unpacking and the…you get the point. If I never have to move again, I will be a happy girl!

  • Reply Jen From Boston |

    Is the school Princess is applying to girls only or co-ed?

    Here in MA private schools can be very accommodating for students with extracurricular interests outside of the school’s offerings. For example, a small day school I attended allowed one of the students flexibility in her schedule to do competitive horse… stuff. (Not sure which type of horse competitions she did.) She was also exempt from the school’s PE program since her horse competitions took care of that. Similarly, a student at the boarding school I attended allowed one of my classmates to skip sports because she was a dedicated violinist.

    If Princess’s school is co-ed and a good match for Gymnast in academics, that also might be an option. Of course, cost is a factor, so hopefully the school can provide a significant amount of financial aid, mostly in grants. One thing to keep in mind when comparing the financial aid package to school offers is how much you’re already spending on homeschooling. I imagine you have to buy supplies beyond the usual notebooks and such, and perhaps fees for their online classes.

    • Reply Jen From Boston |

      Speaking of financial aid, at the risk of jumping ahead to college, I just wanted to mention that some colleges have need blind admissions. That means the admissions decision is made separately from the student’s financial aid decision. Schools with large endowments are the ones that can afford to do this, e.g., Harvard. If I were you I’d try to target schools like that. Those schools pledge to meet the full financial need of the student if they are admitted. Other schools that are not need blind may not be able to do so, and thus might not admit the student due to lack of funds, or more likely, won’t provide as much aid as the student needs.

      One caveat to this, however, is that the school may have a different idea of how much aid the student needs than the student and the student’s family. And I believe nowadays the schools require financial information from BOTH parents, regardless of custody, and regardless of a parent’s willingness to pay. Not sure how the private high schools handle this.

      • Reply Hope |

        I wasn’t aware of the “blind” admissions process. I will definitely check into it when it comes time. I am sure grateful for the State of Georgia’s MOWR program which allows all three of the kids to attend college while in high school for free. It even paid Sea Cadet’s tuition and books for this year. It has been AWESOME and so easy. They also have the HOPE Grant which we may can take advantage of.

    • Reply Hope |

      Hi Jen,
      I did ask about opting out of PE due to other extra-curriculars and that is not an option; however, if Princess goes to the private school it will replace the travel volleyball. That is a stop gap for this year.

      As for Gymnast, the private school would not fit him academically unfortunately. Not to mention the logistics would be a nightmare as it’s 20ish minutes in the wrong direction. I am definitely considering all the options in light of cost, in addition to academic fit, logistics for getting them to and from and the probability that Gymnast will continue with gymnastics.

  • Reply Malady |

    Hope, can you please refresh us on why your kids dad pays no child support? I feel like there should be a regular contribution from him that would offset some of these costs but it doesn’t appear anywhere in your budget.
    Normally child support is state mandated?

    • Reply Hope |

      Malady,
      There is no court ordered child support. I did our divorce, it was my choice to not have it in there for ALOT of reasons.
      We are now back on good terms, and he is working (for the last several years, he was not.) I have asked him to contribute to the gymnastics training and cost of volleyball. He has agreed to pay 1/2 of the training costs for this fall (roughly $500) and says he will contribute to volleyball but did not give me a number. (I literally just got off the phone with him to confirm he had received all the documentation on these costs.) He says I will receive the first payment next week, we will see.

      • Reply Laura |

        Have you considered changing this? Your children need the money, and child support isn’t just for sports, it’s for food and clothes and everything you are paying for now. You shouldn’t have to depend on his goodwill to support his kids, and I hate that he has put you in that postion.

        • Reply Hope |

          I have not. My marriage was bad, terrible really. All I wanted was to protect my children AND feel safe myself. My divorce was a HUGE step towards that. I know this is a very simplified statement, but having complete legal and physical custody of my kids is FAR more important to me than any money. And because of that, there was no fight, I have complete control.

          But just to be clear, I have NO REGRETS because I got the TWO BEST THINGS ever from it – Gymnast and Princess.

          • Jen From Boston |

            I have a friend who shares custody of her son with an abusive ex. I have to say that Hope made the right choice. My friend is going through hell.

  • Reply Rosalind |

    Maybe my advice doesn’t mean much, but I would try to keep your kids out of public school if at all possible. I say this as someone who attended public school and wish I had attended a private or charter school or been homeschooled.

    • Reply Hope |

      Thank you, Rosalind. I can see both sides of the options, and will definitely do alot of research AND be open to changing my mind if I make a bad one. I’ve given myself the remainder of this school year to do my research and make a plan.

  • Reply Joanna |

    Regarding the child support. Maybe look into that again. I have full legal and physical custody of my daughter. I make all decisions and she is with me 24/7/365. He has supervised visitation available twice a month for about 5 hours and I receive court ordered child support. You can have sole legal and physical custody and collect child support.

  • Reply Casey |

    Hope…you may have done it before, but can you share who/what you use for the kids’ Spanish class?

So, what do you think ?