by Ashley
Hi all!
I was hoping to have a post about my version of “balance” (inspired by this post) to go up today. I’ve gotten it half-written but it’s not finished and, being that I’m practicing this new work-life balance and work is a bit on the heavy-side, it’s going to have to wait for the time being. Hopefully I’ll have it finished to go up on Monday.
So sorry for the relative radio silence today. I did want to pop in and say “Hi! Happy Friday!!!”
Also, another super-brief update….. I just applied for another job (this one is an in-person 40 hour/week job, here in Tucson). I really struggled with deciding whether to even apply. A friend works at the place and has urged me to apply for the past couple weeks. I saw him yesterday and he just about freaked out when I said I still hadn’t applied, so I finally took the time to submit my app last night after the babies were in bed. My friend feels CERTAIN I will get the position. Of course, I thought I was perfect for the last job (and had an incredible interview), and never heard back from them, soooooooo…..we’ll see. Not going to get my hopes up.
Just wanted to give an update on the old job front. Jobs with University A (online teaching) and University B (research) are still chugging along smoothly. Should I get this new job, I could even keep my contract-based positions at A and B, so it would hugely increase my annual salary (more than double what I currently make). That amount of money would be awesome, but I feel so conflicted about going into a traditional 40 hour/week position when I’ve been so fortunate to stay mostly home with my girls (plus this is not a professor position, so it’s not the “dream” job I’ve been trying for, and it’s in Tucson, whereas I’d do just about anything to get a job back in Austin so we can move back by family). So….lots of pros and cons. Things that really don’t even warrant any worry unless I get a job offer. Just submitted the app so any weighing of pros & cons is a little premature right now (haven’t even had an interview). Like I said….not going to get my hopes up. We’ll see what happens.
Happy Friday, all!
Hi, I’m Ashley! Arizonan on paper, Texan at heart. Lover of running, blogging, and all things cheeeeese. Freshly 40, married mother of two, working in academia. Trying to finally (finally!) pay off that ridiculous 6-digit student loan debt!
First – I don’t want this to come off in any way, shape or form snarky. Sometimes it’s hard to write tone on the internet.
Staying home with your children is a luxury that you really can’t afford. If you’re wiling to do whatever it takes to pay off your debt and clean up your financial house of cards, you’ll certainly do whatever you can – including taking this job – to accomplish that.
Beyond that, you’re not saying yes to this job forever. If you land a dream job, you’ll quite this one in a hot minute and life will move on.
My Dad owns his own business and my Mom worked full time to achieve their dreams. They both side hustled like crazy on top of their full time work. My parents did not own their first home until they were in their late 30s and we lived for a long time in an old crappy double-wide. (The shower was cement…but it was a shower and functioned as needed.) We lived with five people in that little two bedroom house. We drove around with five people in our old crappy car. All of the time and effort paid off when they were able to build their dream home (albeit very modest) with cash and my mom was able to stay home with my younger siblings. They are now in a position to be able to buy new vehicles and live a very comfortable life. None of this would have happened if they hadn’t spent their 20s, 30s and 40s burning the midnight oil, side hustling, and making nearly daily visits to the bank to pay down debt with whatever check that came in.
There’s a light at the end of this tunnel, Ashley.
I have to disagree with your comment, Walnut. I believe you have valid points and just want to see Ashley enjoying a debt free life (as that is the name of the game on this blog). However, staying at home with kids isn’t a luxury in everyone’s eye; more of a duty as a parent. Missing out on once in a lifetime moments with little ones just to be debt free a year or two sooner, may not be worth it for everyone. You can never get that time back. Now, that isn’t an excuse to remain in debt forever (and i get that some people hide behind that). That being said, I think Ashley is making great strides towards her debt and realizes the pros and cons of her actions far more than when she was getting herself into debt. Again, all of this is hypothetical since she just applied for the job. I just wanted to provide a different perspective.
Regarding the working from home versus working at an office issue – I have no problem working a traditional 40 hour/week job. In fact, my “dream job” is to be a professor, which is a full-time position. I think my problem is more about going back to the traditional office job when it’s not a job I’d choose for myself, does not use my degree, and in fact prevents me from being able to apply for other jobs (if not entirely, it at least hinders my ability), due to working so much since I’d be working 40 hr/week + still have my part-time jobs to do on nights/weekends. At any rate, it’s irrelevant at this point since I haven’t been offered the position, but I think simply the fact that I applied (even though I dragged my feet) shows that I’m serious about the debt-reduction journey, even if it means taking a job that isn’t my favorite in the pursuit of progress.
New favorite commenter remark (via Walnut): “you’re not saying yes to this job forever. If you land a dream job, you’ll quit this one in a hot minute and life will move on.” <---Truth! Great perspective!
It would be nice to see a breakdown of your salary – preschool for the children = what actual profit. We don’t need to see the actual salary or preschool, just the amount or average amount you’re making over the expense of preschool. I totally get that you need to keep working in your field to be considered relevant.
Then do the same thing for the full-time job (if anything comes of it) minus full-time daycare and make sure it’s worth it. Is it reasonable that you’d still be able to keep up with University A and B while working full-time? A lot of things to consider, and I don’t agree that sticking them in daycare just so you can make more money is black/white. If working full time increases your daycare expenses, then you don’t feel like cooking as much, purchasing more professional clothing, etc., then maybe delay it. The kids are only young once, and like everyone always says, your situation isn’t forever.
I’m not against you working full-time, I just don’t think working full-time is always worth it. Just because you’re in debt doesn’t mean you have to parent in a way you don’t feel is right for you. You’re not increasing your debt, and you’re paying off tons, so if you’re against it, don’t do it.
Hey Amanda,
I totally agree that working full time is not a black/white situation, and there are lots of other factors to consider (costs of clothing, increased preschool costs, etc etc etc).
I don’t feel comfortable giving the salary #s (even if I do your calculation, its pretty easy to figure out since I tell everyone the exact figure of our preschool). This is what I usually tell people when they ask about my pay: I make very good money for working part-time from home. It’s not great in light of my student loan debt ($100,000 of debt), but I make more working part-time (and from home) than many people make working full-time jobs. I’m very lucky.
In regard to the difference in income – the new job would pay approximately twice what I currently make (annualized, since my current income fluctuates). So if I kept all jobs, I’d be making 3 times my current salary. BUT, you are right that I do not think I’d be able to keep up with both of the part-time positions forever. I could probably do all 3 for a time to try to get ahead, but eventually something would have to change.
All hypothetical since I’ve not been offered the new position. But just wanted to respond to your comments.
I am assuming that you are looking for a tenure track position. Unfortunately they are very hard to get right now. Hopefully the job market will open up soon. Also considering it is almost fall it is probably best to take the job, if offered and restart the hunt later in the year. What field is your PhD in. Good Luck
Ashley-
There are a lot of factors at play here regarding whether to take this job or not. Personally, I think you have a pretty great deal right now with the two work-from-home jobs that allow you to be with your girls through this time. In a couple months your husband will hopefully be more available to parent and in a few years the girls will be more self-sufficient in terms of entertaining themselves and what they are capable of doing for themselves. My vote at this time would be to hold out for the dream job.
With that being said, I also think you are at a crucial decision-making point. By limiting your desired job location you are really decreasing your chances of landing your dream job. I understand that your husband had built a successful business that he doesn’t want to start from scratch again, but with that comes the possibility that the job you are hoping for may never come your way. Just a very tough discussion/decision for your family to make…..
That being said, rather then taking an in-office position I know you have also made attempts to find more work from home jobs and I have a couple suggestions you may not have explored:
The military offers an extensive collection of online courses so that Soldiers can continue their education while moving locations or even deploying, perhaps you can teach some of those? (Off the top of my head I cannot recall the name of the program but I would be willing to look it up for you.)
I don’t know how many universities currently offer your particular field as an online course but perhaps you could find a couple that seem to be expanding their online course offerings and present yourself as willing to pilot the online offerings of your field.
I am typing this from my phone so I apologize for any errors of if it reads poorly.
Cheers,
Meghan
Hi Meghan – thanks for the thoughtful comment! We have certainly had the difficult discussion about my job versus “his” job many times. I think the final consensus is that, for the right job, he’d be willing to move and start over. BUT, that comes with caveats….even for the dream job, we can’t make it work if I’m only offered, say, $40,000/year (as low as this sounds for a PhD-level job, I have known people to move cross-country for such positions). So there are some salary requirements. And it’s really me who has limited the places I am looking. At this age/stage in life, I do not want to just move to Timbuktu! It’s important to me to keep my family either where we currently are, or to move somewhere where we have additional family resources (we have family in the Austin area and the Salt Lake valley area, so I’ve looked in both places).