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Wait…his lawyer is back!

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No debt reduction info in this post, so avert your eyes if you are here only for debt reduction tips. 

Who needs bad reality television, when you can just pop into my blog and get the latest in my divorce saga?  Let me preface this post with everything I write here is factual except for the parts that aren’t–and those parts are my opinion.

I received an email from Steve’s former lawyer, now lawyer again.  He’s been rehired to finalize the divorce.  The changes I snail mailed to Steve have been incorporated and while he cannot tell me a date certain, the divorce should be final before my final hearing date setting of December 19.  The lawyer may have suggested I drop that December 19 setting but that isn’t happening.  He could be fired tomorrow and I’ve got to have that date certain.

Enter My Opinion:  Is this not insanity?!  This is what living with this man was like! 

‘Cause you’re hot then you’re cold
You’re yes then you’re no
You’re in then you’re out
You’re up and you’re down
You’re wrong when it’s right
It’s black and it’s white
We fight, we break up 
 
Thank you Katy Perry for that quick synopsis!
 
Talk about ongoing confirmation and clarity!  You just do not know how crazy things are until you have some time and distance but this utterly absurd handling of a completely and totally truly SIMPLE divorce says it ALL!  All in the name of him holding the control (or at least in his mind he has the control!) and thinking he’s getting back at me by doing so.  I can’t even muster up anger about any of this b/c the sheer lunacy of it all is enough for me to recognize any time spent in anger is time wasted.  There never was and never will be a way to stop this behavior and I have no delusional thoughts that there would be but instead welcome and embrace this entire divorce experience.  I do not think validation could happen in a more obvious way. 
 
I have signed the decree and a courier is delivering it to the lawyer’s office this afternoon. 


20 Comments

  • Reply Vicki |

    Good for you!!! Getting rid of that baggage will make your journey to being debt free much easier. Bon Voyage!!!

  • Reply Phaedra |

    What a relief it will be when this is over!!! It must be difficult knowing someone else can throw a monkey wrench into your life at any moment. Thank goodness you don’t have kids with him. That would mean decades of this nonsense. Hold on it is almost over!

    • Reply Claire |

      I thank God every single day Phaedra that I did not have children with this man! EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!

  • Reply Orange County Budget Living |

    Doesn’t it always work out that way?

    Whenever you think it’s going to be smooth sailing, something always goes wrong and bring you back to square one. It’s like that with me with debt.

    I hope from now on out, it will be a smoother ending between you and your ex. Hang in there.

  • Reply Matt in CO |

    Sheesh–sorry you’re having to go through all of this. At least it will be over soon, eh?

    On a related note, that “Hot and Cold” song is one of my favorite tracks to run to. 🙂

  • Reply debthaven |

    I know it’s still hard but that is great news! I was worried that if he “started over” with a new lawyer it could have taken longer.

  • Reply Claire in CA, USA |

    Frankly, this *is* debt reduction related. You unloaded thousands of dollars of current and future debt when you unloaded this man. I would be frustrated, too, but it’s good to know his hold over you is only for a short time, now.

    I hope you have thought about some counseling to get through this. You mentioned having bad taste in men, but that is not a permanent condition if you get help. Big hugs, Claire.

    • Reply Claire |

      Hi Claire-

      I have continued counseling with the counselor we used for marriage therapy. She told us over a year ago that it was great but individual therapy was in order. She’s also seeing my two kids and there are so many silver linings to this mess, I can’t even begin to tell you. I had a major breakthrough on my relationship choices in the last week and could not be happier. I mean a major breakthrough! And she is covered by my insurance! Thank GOD! Thank you for your ongoing support.

      • Reply Claire in CA, USA |

        I’m so glad to hear that you and the kids are in counseling. 2013 is your year, girl!

        And you are so welcome! 😀

  • Reply Erika W. |

    I find myself hoping that Steve is still reading this blog and can see what a low opinion your readers have of him.

  • Reply T'Pol |

    It is only a couple of weeks, just hold on and try to keep calm. You will be free when this is all over and you won’t look back!

  • Reply paris013 |

    It sounds like your soon-to-be ex husband has a serious case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
    My father had the same behavior patterns and dealing with/living with that man is always work. Talk about walking on eggshells!

  • Reply Mary Pauline M |

    Sounds like you are a very strong woman! I admire your sharing of what is going on in your personal life. Think of all of the women who you are inspiring to stand up for themselves with your story.

    • Reply Claire |

      Thank you Mary Pauline. It all happens for a reason, doesn’t it? I do believe my journey is helping someone out there.

  • Reply Janelle B |

    Claire, I just stumbled across your blog and after reading the first entry, I went to the “about you” page and was confused. An update might be in order, as your profile page says you’re newlywed, and yet the first blog entry I read states you’re in the midst of a divorce.

    I just want to say I spent my Saturday night reading all of your entries for the year, so I could get the complete story. I am inspired by your adventures in preparing real food for your family and will be exploring the sites you reference. Thank you for being as candid and as real as you have been about the peaks and valleys in your own life.

    • Reply Claire |

      Hi Janelle-

      Thank you for the reminder. I’ll go look at my “about me” info next. Your confusion is to be expected obviously! My life has been confusing me in recent months!!! Thank you for taking the time to read through things and welcome.

  • Reply Jean |

    This blog post applies to debt reduction when you think about the amount of money you are saving by representing yourself instead of having to hire an attorney, esp with all of this back & forth stuff! I’m so sorry that you’re having to go through this, but so glad you are close to having it all behind you.

  • Reply emmi |

    This is the part in the Dystopian Sci Fi novel where, in a just world, you could petition to choose one word or short phrase to have tattooed on his forehead. Just to warn the next lady.

So, what do you think ?