My Response to Monday’s Comments

My post on Monday brought about a few comments about my husband and the role he plays in our debt reduction plan. I was going to reply in the comments, but I ended up writing a bit so I thought I would devote a post to it.

My husband’s temporary job is actually a pretty good job and he makes as much per hour as I do with mine. He is supposed to have more work per his boss, but his boss is super busy and hasn’t handed off the next project. He is waiting for that project and there is even talk of possibly another one after or at the same time as the other one.

My husband also has another job lined up for next month. It will bring in around $1,000. Then there is a separate project that will bring in around $400.

I won’t lie. It’s rough to have feast or famine jobs, but these jobs are career-focused and the networking value is immense. It’s the right market to be in for what he wants to do with his career. From a future earnings standpoint, trying to secure these “gigs” is a much better thing to do than to work minimum wage jobs. My husband has been working near minimum wage jobs for some time now for me.

Yes, he did that for me. He’s worked those jobs so I could get my career going. I have something now that I like to do and he let me get to this point. He takes care of the house and our son and helps out so I can excel with my career. Now that I am settled and our son is in school, it is his turn to focus on his career. That’s what this income lull is letting him do. It gives him time to devote to that.

Marriages are complex, and mine is no exception. There are times I want to yell at my husband to go get a job…any job…but I bite my tongue. I sometimes have to remember how he let me work through the ranks to get where I am now. There was a period of time before I started this blog where I took a leap of faith and quit my job in pursuit of a better job. It took about four months of intense searching until I found it. All the time my husband was working full time and I was working whatever jobs I could find that allowed me to work at home (some tutoring and writing) and bring in a little bit of money.

Probably by the time we pay off our debt, you’ll have a better idea of how everything came together to bring about this blog. I think it’s a good idea to provide some tidbits about our past so the current picture is clearer so I plan on doing that. The first post should probably be the reason why we will not move to find better employment (that’s a common suggestion I receive). Some things are worth more than all of the money in the world.

Posted by Tricia on May 3, 2007 at 9:49 PM in About Me, Life Experiences, Money & Relationships | 6 Comments »
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  1. Nathania Johnson responded:
    Posted: May 4th, 2007 at 12:16 am

    There’s a ton of value in your husband staying home. Both my husband and I work. The kids are his (he has full custody), and I just became the mom in January.

    It’s really hard to balance work and family!

    I wish I could stay home full-time. We have so much debt it’s not possible right now. I’m just glad my job has flex hours!

    You’re right, some things aren’t worth all the money in the world.

  2. Maureen responded:
    Posted: May 4th, 2007 at 3:57 am

    You and your husband should both be proud of yourselves…. and in the long run you – and your son! – will be so grateful that you had more time with your son. MUCH more grateful than if you paid off your debt a year earlier than you’d wished. and if your hubby’s career takes off, you may end up paying your debt off even sooner!!

  3. Colleen responded:
    Posted: May 4th, 2007 at 7:48 am

    Tricia – You are absolutely right about some things being worth more than money. Except for a few years in our 26 year marriage I have worked P/T so that I could spend more time with my children. Yes, we hit some rough patches financially, but we have raised some pretty great kids in the meantime. My husband has worked all these years at a job he loves. It sounds to me like you are doing the right thing. Spending time with your child and pursuing jobs that you enjoy are going to pay off more than you can imagine.

  4. Jen responded:
    Posted: May 4th, 2007 at 2:20 pm

    Okay, I have to sound off on this one, too.

    My husband left our family business (a well-paying job that he hated) to work elsewhere. He had wanted to do this for years but was afraid to, knowing that he would take a pay cut. We finally realized that his happiness was worth it. I had been working VERY part time while we raised our 3 kids and now it was my turn to step up. I’ve taken over the family business and he works for a major corporation in sales. The pay is mediocre but the benefits a good. AND he’s much happier. I’m proud that we’ve made this choice. There’s nothing more important for our kids or our marraige for both partners to be somewhat self-actualized. The bonus is that I love our business (it was mine first) so we’re both happy and making a bit more money which we’re using to pay down our debt.

    You’re doing a great thing now, as did he for you. That sounds like a very healthy marraige!

  5. flippy responded:
    Posted: May 4th, 2007 at 5:09 pm

    This is a great model of so many things including 1) good communication and partnership in a marriage 2) a husband who is willing to be a true partner in raising the children and supporting his wife’s career and 3) your husband doing what it takes step-by-step to build a career that he will love and that draws on his skill set.

    However, my perspective remains a bit different based on how much I was willing to sacrifice to get out of debt in a reasonably quick manner. Were I your husband, I would be working any job (including fast food) at least 10-20 hours per week to contribute to the family getting out of debt ASAP. This would just mean less TV and leisure time. It would still allow me to spend just as much time taking care of my son and just as much time to do other jobs/projects that are more in my career field. Given that this is not your husband’s approach, I wish him a lot of luck getting new projects from his boss!

  6. Da big D responded:
    Posted: May 4th, 2007 at 7:53 pm

    Yea, thanks for posting this. Too often we the general readers will look to critize the easy things that we see. However, now that I know the story, I think its a good idea. As long as he is working for something in the end.

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