I confess, I am a huge Grey’s Anatomy fan. Thursday’s episode left me crying through almost the whole hour. The thought of the lead character, Meredeth, possibly dying upset me and I was saddened at how her friends at the hospital were feeling.
One of Meredeth’s closest friends, Christina, was watching and waiting to hear something about her friend. After a while, Chistina said that she couldn’t do this (wait for news) and left the hospital. We later see her shopping and a little bit later she’s visiting the bar showing the bartender what you can buy for 99 cents. She plopped a yellow plastic child’s chair on the counter (Christina has no children) to show the bartender her great find.
Christina is an emotional shopper…I was an emotional shopper.
More often than I would like, when I was feeling down about things I would go shopping. Interesting enough, most of the time it occurred when I was feeling down about not having money so I would turn around and go shopping. Like Christina, I wouldn’t go and buy glitzy expensive things, I would buy less expensive things that we really didn’t need. How about purchasing a cute picture frame even though I had no idea what to put in it? Or some new shirt that looks nice, but I probably won’t wear because it’s not “my style.” I wouldn’t spend a lot with each trip, but the trips add up.
Did the shopping make me feel better? Not really. I realize that now so I fight the urge whenever it arises. I’ve taken the need to go shopping and I either go online and write on my blog, or I clean the house. I’m replacing shopping with other things and so far it is working. There could always be a relapse and I could go overboard with buying expensive things, but I don’t think that will happen.
I feel much better now that I admit what was happening and I’m taking steps to stop it. Our checkbook is thanking me too, but the credit cards aren’t
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Posted: February 25th, 2007 at 7:23 pm
I’ve long suspected that almost all shoppping is emotional. I mean, who among us really needs even a fraction of the stuff we own?
Over-shopping, overeating,…it’s all the same: taking on more than we need and ultimately, in the process, giving up control over things we dearly wish and need to be able to control (our wallets, our bodies…).
Best wishes to you. You’re doing great.
Posted: February 27th, 2007 at 4:11 am
I too was once an emotional shopper and like you I bought the strangest and usually cheapest things. It all started my first year of college, my first credit card. I found myself very sad and lonely and some how felt as though the accumulation of “stuff” would make me feel better. I once bought a tackle box and filled it with every fishing accessory ever known to man. Did I plan on going fishing? No, that dang box sat in the trunk of my car until my dad sold the car for scrap. He gave the box to the guy that came to pick up the car.
Although I no longer use credit cards, I still find myself aimlessly filling the cart at Wal-mart on days Im feeling down. I guess to some the accumulation of needless “stuff” is the closest thing to being able to buy happiness.
Posted: March 2nd, 2007 at 9:28 pm
I am still an emotional shopper. I 99% control it, but it still lurks under the surface. I’ve come a long way, but don’t know if I’ll ever be completely free of the impulse to spend foolishly.
Posted: March 3rd, 2007 at 6:28 pm
db - I think you have a good point that it still lurks under the surface. I think being aware of what we are likely to do helps to keep it at bay.
Posted: February 18th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
It may be late to be posting on this one, but for those who find themselves doing useless things when they’re down…I have a suggestion. Volunteer, just once a month, to do something like deliver meals to shut-ins, something like that. Or to read to people, like hospitalized vets or at a home. Just a tiny commitment, but man… changes your worldview faster than anything else you could do. You ARE in the best part of your life, you just don’t appreciate it. Give your life some context and the greatness you have will naturally become apparent.
The world is not full of stuff. It is full of people.
Oh, and get a little more sunlight too. That’ll boost your outlook as well.