Comments on: What Do You Do When Someone Wants To Give You Money?

By: Mike

Mike — Sat, 21 Oct 2006 06:53:01 +0000

I usually follow Nancy Reagan’s advice.

By: S/100/30

S/100/30 — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 16:47:30 +0000

Like a â€œyou scratch my back, I scratch yoursâ€ sort of thing KWIM? More so like bartering, I guess?

My guess is that they fear that, being older, they have no real way to “scratch your back”, but they will need your continual help. Paying you is what keeps them from feeling too guilty about not being able to reciprocate.

By: Hilary

Hilary — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 05:23:45 +0000

My brother gets really annoyed at people who won’t take help. One time he changed a tire for someone stuck on the side of the road, and motorist kept pushing $10 on him. After refusing several times, he finally said, “If you insist on giving me money for this, my rate for changing tires is $54. If you want to accept it as the favor it was, you’re welcome, and have a great day!” No one’s ever accused him of being tactful.

By: jim

jim — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 22:33:51 +0000

What I always say to someone is to keep the money and just buy me a beer sometime.

By: Karen

Karen — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 19:46:03 +0000

Take the money and give it to charity, the SPCA or to a homeless person. “Pay it forward…”

By: Steve Heath

Steve Heath — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 19:26:15 +0000

Lol, maybe they read your blog and just want to be part of the debt elimination

By: DrHousingBubble

DrHousingBubble — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 18:43:57 +0000

If a person really wants to pay you, that is their right. If you really do not want to take the payment, that is your right. The etiquette is finding the middle ground. In most cases explaining to them how strongly you feel one way or another is the best solution. With that said, I would be happy to take your husbandâ€™s five dollars if it is weighing on his mind. : )

By: Jenni

Jenni — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 17:56:18 +0000

I think letting them know that money isn’t needed should be enough. If they still offer money, it’s best to take it, as some people might see it as charity if you refuse or as an insult.

By: Tricia

Tricia — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 15:51:27 +0000

Thanks everyone for your input. Thanks D for mentioning the possible insult if we do not take the money. I just remember growing up and the neighbors helping each other – but without money being exchanged. Like a “you scratch my back, I scratch yours” sort of thing KWIM? More so like bartering, I guess?

This is our first home with neighbors like this – so this is sort of new to me.

I think we will make something special for them to drop off because we had extras (that’s a great idea)

By: Maria

Maria — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 15:45:14 +0000

There’s alot of pride in not taking money when it is offered, especially when we have done something to help them. We dont want to appear to needy but they want to give you something that says an extra “THANK YOU.”

By: Chitowngirl

Chitowngirl — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 15:31:26 +0000

Hi! I think you can say just that and if they still say take the money, then take it. Sometimes, people have a pride issue and they don’t want something for nothing. Also, on a more cynical note, people never want to feel like they owe you anything in the future because you helped them out before. You have decent neighbors, that is a blessing in and of itself. =)

By: D

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 15:28:23 +0000

Take the money it is an insult when someone turns it down. In the givers eyes. At least that is what I have been told. I haven’t fully reached this place yet – I can’t wait to get here though.

What I do is bake them something and drop it off. Sometimes brownies or cupcakes or their favorite dish. I will then claim that I had “extras” when I drop them off. It is so hard for them to turn it away then. Makes me feel better.

Plus it makes such a neighborly world…don’t you think?

By: bluntmoney

bluntmoney — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 15:27:35 +0000

Just say thank you.

By: Matt

Matt — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 15:11:06 +0000

Sometimes people simply want to give you money. Its their way of saying that they appreciated your help. I’ve been in that situation before and tried to give the money back but it failed. When it happens take the money and run!